When Mom's salary breaks even with daycare....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those who are saying child-care is so short-term: what do you do when they're 13-year-old 7th graders and school lets out at 2:30 and there is no aftercare in middle school? Do you leave them alone from 2:30 until you get home at 6:00, or cobble together after-school clubs or hire a babysitter or what? Aren't those the hours in which they either do something enriching (which usually involves a parent driving them around) or get into trouble?

Luckily, my kids are mature enough to be left at home for 2 hours each school day. They have some afterschool activities some days, go to friends' houses some days and some days one or the other parent gets home early. I was anxious about this too until I saw how responsible my kids are. Certainly not worth giving up a sizable 6 figure income to babysit teenagers for 2 hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those who are saying child-care is so short-term: what do you do when they're 13-year-old 7th graders and school lets out at 2:30 and there is no aftercare in middle school? Do you leave them alone from 2:30 until you get home at 6:00, or cobble together after-school clubs or hire a babysitter or what? Aren't those the hours in which they either do something enriching (which usually involves a parent driving them around) or get into trouble?

My middle schooler does after school sports or clubs which takes up that time. But if he didn't, he'd have an assigned chore list for the couple of hours between him getting home and me getting home. Things like packing his lunch for the next day (which would allow him to text me if he needed me to pick something up from the store on the way home), straightening his room, practice his instrument, and doing his homework. My son doesn't need me to be on him 24/7 to keep him out of trouble, but he does need structure. 2 hours of "entertain yourself" every day would be a bit much for him and I can see him getting into mischief. But 2 hours which includes getting his homework done so as soon as I get home he can grab his bike and roam the neighborhood? Not so long as to be a problem. Also, a good stepping stone to further independence.

[Anonymous]

Ok, interesting. I was just checking to see whether people were saying child care costs "went away" because their work hours now matched school hours or because their kids were just actually alone during that time. Mine are not quite in middle school yet (and I don't have that sizable 6-figure income one poster has) but I'm not sure I'm on board with leaving them alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, interesting. I was just checking to see whether people were saying child care costs "went away" because their work hours now matched school hours or because their kids were just actually alone during that time. Mine are not quite in middle school yet (and I don't have that sizable 6-figure income one poster has) but I'm not sure I'm on board with leaving them alone.

Our friends who both work hire a driver ostensibly to transport their kids to activities between 3 and 5 but also of course to avoid their 13 year olds from being alone 10 hours a week. The point is you don't have to give up your full time job just because you have middle schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Something is very wrong with your parenting skills if you can't leave a 13 year old alone for 2 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something is very wrong with your parenting skills if you can't leave a 13 year old alone for 2 hours.

I babysat other peoples' kids after school when I was 13. Arrived at their house by myself, got the kids at the bus, made dinner, got them ready for bed...I was "home alone" for about 4 hours with those kids twice a week. I was home alone myself after school for a couple of hours starting probably at age 10.

Sorry, I just can't believe people think you can't leave a 13 year old alone. They will be driving in three years and going to college in five. They won't magically learn to take care of themselves at age 16--they need to get some practice.

[Anonymous]

My kids - almost 11 and 15 - are home alone afterschool. Almost 11 year old started this year and 15 year old started at 12 years old. The younger one doesn't get home till 3:45 with afterschool activities (which are 3 days a week). 15 year old gets home from high school at about 3:20 if there is nothing going on after school. Kids that age are fine alone for a few hours - in fact, I think it is a good thing. Kids need to learn independence and responsibility. Hell, my older kids has been watching kids as young as 1 yo for almost 2 years now.