College students and pot

[Anonymous]

OP, let it go. Your DC is way to old to have his parents punish him for this. There's no need to debate whether or not smoking pot is OK. There's nothing you can (or rather should) do about this.

He's grown up. Take a deep breath and let him be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was first time ever deep-cleaning college-aged DS's room last week and found the whole secret stash: a cigarette, a chewing tobacco tin, a condom, a small baggie of pot remnants, Visine, and for fun there was a paintball gun and ammo. I can't even run this by DH because he has some crazy work thing this week and this would set him off. In the meantime I just put everything in the trash. I may just forget about it all.

First time ever deep cleaning son's room? No, you were being nosey. However, he is under your roof so you have a right to know what goes on in your house because you, too, could suffer legal consequences.

Comdons and tobacco are not illegal.

Neither is a paintball gun or ammo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was a rare pot smoker in his senior year of high school. I didn't say too much about it as he wasn't a drinker and had decent grades. He received an academic as well as a good character scholarship(35K total/year) to his #1 choice college. He has been so happy there, loves his roommates and courses etc. Well, a few weeks ago he and 2 of his friends were idiots and got caught by the campus police smoking pot on the edge of the campus but still on university grounds. They were all allowed to return to their dorms and I am not sure what is happening to other 2 kids but my son is losing his scholarships this week and we will find out if he will be allowed to remain at the college since he violated the school drug policy which he signed. Without saying too much, this college is very liberal and my husband and I were not expecting such severe sanctions for a first-time offense. I guess we're the idiots. Just posting this cautionary tale in case you might b inclined to warn your own kids.

Wow, that is sobering (only just realized it's a pun after I typed it). My DD stayed away from pot in high school because she had a job she loved that did random drug testing. She's now a freshman at a smallish school and has told me that many of her friends, including boyfriend, smoke pot, but she doesn't like it and doesn't use it. I don't know if I completely believe her or not, but it couldn't hurt to tell her PP's story as a cautionary tale. More than half her expenses are paid for by a scholarship from the school, and she would not be able to return without it.

[Anonymous]

I am the poster who told the story about my son being caught smoking pot at his college. For those who wondered the size- it's appx. 4,000 students and is in a liberal leaning state. Interestingly, when I was telling my friend in the area about what happened to my kid she said that hers is currently in jeopardy of losing his internship next semester for a lesser charge at a southern college. Apparently, her son had a group of friends over who reeked of marijuana and a student reported the odor. The RA walked to the room, knocked and the kids were high as a kite but this friend's son was not according to her. He was not with those kids when they were smoking. Anyhow, my friend's child has to go before some disciplinary board this week to discuss the incident. I can't imagine he will have a problem as they didn't find any drug paraphernalia in the dorm room. From what my son has said and this friend of mine's son, becoming wildly intoxicated is seen as much more acceptable in the colleges than smoking pot. My son meets before the disciplinary board at his university today. He is beside himself and honestly, we are deeply concerned as well. I'll let you know how it turns out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god people your kids are freaking adults. Get over yourselves.

As long as they are on my dole, they are not fully functioning adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god people your kids are freaking adults. Get over yourselves.

As long as they are on my dole, they are not fully functioning adults.

Right. This is OP. I really appreciate all the comments. I am just so worried that at 19 DS is not giving sufficient weight to the legal, academic, future emplyment, and potential health risks of marijuana use. There is so much conflicting info out there, I don't even know what to believe anymore. I am also not crazy about continuing to subsidize an education that could go up in smoke (ha ha) if he gets caught. We have had the conversations, and I guess there is nothing else I can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster who told the story about my son being caught smoking pot at his college. For those who wondered the size- it's appx. 4,000 students and is in a liberal leaning state. Interestingly, when I was telling my friend in the area about what happened to my kid she said that hers is currently in jeopardy of losing his internship next semester for a lesser charge at a southern college. Apparently, her son had a group of friends over who reeked of marijuana and a student reported the odor. The RA walked to the room, knocked and the kids were high as a kite but this friend's son was not according to her. He was not with those kids when they were smoking. Anyhow, my friend's child has to go before some disciplinary board this week to discuss the incident. I can't imagine he will have a problem as they didn't find any drug paraphernalia in the dorm room. From what my son has said and this friend of mine's son, becoming wildly intoxicated is seen as much more acceptable in the colleges than smoking pot. My son meets before the disciplinary board at his university today. He is beside himself and honestly, we are deeply concerned as well. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Interesting. I'm PP who responded with the story of my sister (she's class of 2014) where on her campus it was easily the exact opposite. I hope things work out for your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god people your kids are freaking adults. Get over yourselves.

As long as they are on my dole, they are not fully functioning adults.

Right. This is OP. I really appreciate all the comments. I am just so worried that at 19 DS is not giving sufficient weight to the legal, academic, future emplyment, and potential health risks of marijuana use. There is so much conflicting info out there, I don't even know what to believe anymore. I am also not crazy about continuing to subsidize an education that could go up in smoke (ha ha) if he gets caught. We have had the conversations, and I guess there is nothing else I can do.

Well, there is only so much you can do, because you said it right here: "... at 19 DS is not giving sufficient weight to the legal, academic, future emplyment, and potential health risks of ... [anything]" That's part and parcel of being 19.

[Anonymous]

some random thoughts

1. At my highly rated LAC, we smoked pot out in the open.

2. We also drank alcohol in the open, even though we were underaged.

3. Pot is the least of your worries.

4. I know plenty of high achieving stoners. One notorious dealer at my college graduated magna cum laude, then went on to get a joint law degree and MBA from Harvard. No joke. And no this wasn't unique. I can name dozens with similar achievents. Yes, I agree that it demotivates some people, but if your son is getting good grades, he's clearly not one of those people.

[Anonymous]

I had a LOT of MIT friends who were stoners in college. They all turned out just fine.

You and your son should look into his schools marijuana policies. If they are very strict and inflexible, he needs to take that into account and adjust behavior accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was first time ever deep-cleaning college-aged DS's room last week and found the whole secret stash: a cigarette, a chewing tobacco tin, a condom, a small baggie of pot remnants, Visine, and for fun there was a paintball gun and ammo. I can't even run this by DH because he has some crazy work thing this week and this would set him off. In the meantime I just put everything in the trash. I may just forget about it all.

First time ever deep cleaning son's room? No, you were being nosey. However, he is under your roof so you have a right to know what goes on in your house because you, too, could suffer legal consequences.

Comdons and tobacco are not illegal.

Not that poster, but I also did the first deep clean of DD and DS's rooms when they left for college. Only time I could really find the time to do it was after they left. They always had too much crap all over the place to do much more than vacuum and dust when they were living at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a LOT of MIT friends who were stoners in college. They all turned out just fine.

You and your son should look into his schools marijuana policies. If they are very strict and inflexible, he needs to take that into account and adjust behavior accordingly.

Especially these days with the transparency and amount of info on the internet, it is a lot easier to suss out a school's 'unwritten'culture compared to 10-15 years ago.

My sister definitely looked for 420 friendly schools an then later similarly 420 friendly companies to apply to for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pot will be legal everywhere before your kid turns 30. It's not a big deal. Quite frankly I'd rather see college boys smoke pot than drink - it tones down aggression and probably helps a really driven kid deal with stress. Don't worry about it at all! If you live in DC get yourself some and try it - you'll see that it's no big deal.

Such an ignorant statement. Pot fucks people up. It alters brain chemistry, kills motivatiom and is a gateway drug to more serious addictive substances. I have seen the devestating affects of pot firsthand on two relatives. It is not a gentle drug not to be worried about. It is a big deal and you are perpetuating mistruths.

Pot can have really strong effects on someone who already struggles with depression. For otherwise healthy adults, it shouldn't be a problem.

It's hit-or-miss for anxiety IME.

The bottom line is that you don't know what effect it will have on any one person. You just don't know. It may have no effect on some people and cause others to think evryone is out to get them. For someone to say that pot is harmless and not to worry about it is misguided.

This is true. But it's less harmful than alcohol. And quite possibly less harmful than sugar.

I disagree, and I smoked plenty of pot in my day.

-NP