Regrets about marrying interracially?

[Anonymous]

I'm in an interracial marriage. We've had some struggles but no regrets. Sharing a religion has helped.

[Anonymous]

I'm white and Catholic, DH is black and Baptist. It hasn't always been perfect, but I am so lucky to have him. He is kind, considerate, a good provider, an incredible lover and great father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jewish men make the best husbands OP so no reason to worry.

Jewish MILs on the other hand...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married an Arab Muslim. Our biggest challenges are food (he's a red meat guy and I'm a wanna-be vegetarian), and household temperature (he wants it 80, I want it 65).

We ironed out religious issues before marriage. Fortunately neither of us is super-religious, so we haven't had any conflict there.

His family tries to get me to convert and my family tries to get us to baptize the kids. So we piss off everyone on that front. But mostly it's been pretty easy. We have very similar values, similar financial goals, similar outlook on children and their education. So we haven't had too much conflict, honestly. We've been married 10 years now.

I am a SA Muslim married to an American Catholic guy.

You'd be surprised at how much we have in common. Although, it helps that we both grew up in northern virginia and wound up working in the city. Between us, we have no conflict that is related to our ethnic backgrounds or religion. I celebrate christmas and thanksgiving with him, he celebrates eid and ramadan with me. We are going to raise our children muslim with a solid appreciation of christian culture (christmas etc).

The only issue we have is that our inlaws are so vastly different. His family is rednecky and they arent very world aware and I never really feel like they're my family.

Other than that...I'd encourage it. a 100%

lol, yes. Mine, too. My mom didn't even acknowledge me when I said I was going to marry my husband. I think her Fox News brain exploded. But she's really grown to love him.

In any event, I love bringing my kids up in a multi-cultural household. It's rich with culture, not just from here and from husband's home country. But it's become global in outlook. Maybe being immersed in more than one culture helps kids be open to seeing and appreciating others. At least it seems to so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you married interracially, interculturally or interreligiously, what are some of the serious challenges you have faced? Have you been able to overcome them?

I am about to marry interracially, interculturally, AND interreligiously and don't know anyone else in real life dating interracially, much less marrying someone as different as I am. I am an immigrant, dark skinned Brazilian, raised Catholic and my husband is American, white, and raised Jewish. Apart from me and an AA friend, his family and friends group are exclusively white American Jews.

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you married interracially, interculturally or interreligiously, what are some of the serious challenges you have faced? Have you been able to overcome them?

I am about to marry interracially, interculturally, AND interreligiously and don't know anyone else in real life dating interracially, much less marrying someone as different as I am. I am an immigrant, dark skinned Brazilian, raised Catholic and my husband is American, white, and raised Jewish. Apart from me and an AA friend, his family and friends group are exclusively white American Jews.

OP, as long as you love and respect each other, that should be OK. My only word of advice would be, don't live in race-obsessed DC. NYC, SF, Toronto, LA, Boston, may be a best place to live and raise a family.

Lol, Boston, one of the most racially segregated and racially intolerant cities on the east coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP:

My fiancé is a good man, but I do worry about the homogeneity of his social circle. His parents are rather unintelligent people who have no idea how to relate to those of other backgrounds, so I already know I will never be close to them. I also find his friends tedious and parochial (all raised in a small town and never left), while he likes my friends. I would like to hear more from those who made this work without being close to their in laws. Do you wish in hindsight you had married someone whose parents you and your kids could be close to?

This does not bode well.

Once you have kids, this will go very badly.

Mark my words.

Plus one. Children change everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's very bad to have different religions between spouses

Thanks, fossil. Now back to the cave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you married interracially, interculturally or interreligiously, what are some of the serious challenges you have faced? Have you been able to overcome them?

I am about to marry interracially, interculturally, AND interreligiously and don't know anyone else in real life dating interracially, much less marrying someone as different as I am. I am an immigrant, dark skinned Brazilian, raised Catholic and my husband is American, white, and raised Jewish. Apart from me and an AA friend, his family and friends group are exclusively white American Jews.

OP, as long as you love and respect each other, that should be OK. My only word of advice would be, don't live in race-obsessed DC. NYC, SF, Toronto, LA, Boston, may be a best place to live and raise a family.

Lol, Boston, one of the most racially segregated and racially intolerant cities on the east coast.

Along with LA, NYC, SF....

[Anonymous]

I am not going to give info about ethnicity and religion as I don't want to identify myself (yes it's unique on DCUM as far as I've seen in the past years) but yes. I understand your worries OP. Depending on the intensity of the differences it can be very tough especially with in laws and children involved. I don't regret marrying my husband but I definitely regret not learning about all these religious and cultural differences beforehand. For us it wasn't between him and I but with in laws and his sides family and social circle that problems arose. Very difficult to handle and only a move overseas and almost no contact with his family anymore have worked for us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jewish men make the best husbands OP so no reason to worry.

Jewish MILs on the other hand...

This. I agree with (and have) both! My inlaws are not very observant, so our differences have mostly been cultural. For instance, invitations are basically a command performance. And the guilt trips are REAL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you married interracially, interculturally or interreligiously, what are some of the serious challenges you have faced? Have you been able to overcome them?

I am about to marry interracially, interculturally, AND interreligiously and don't know anyone else in real life dating interracially, much less marrying someone as different as I am. I am an immigrant, dark skinned Brazilian, raised Catholic and my husband is American, white, and raised Jewish. Apart from me and an AA friend, his family and friends group are exclusively white American Jews.

OP, as long as you love and respect each other, that should be OK. My only word of advice would be, don't live in race-obsessed DC. NYC, SF, Toronto, LA, Boston, may be a best place to live and raise a family.

Lol, Boston, one of the most racially segregated and racially intolerant cities on the east coast.

Along with LA, NYC, SF....

I don't know about those other areas, but SF Bay Area is not racially intolerant. We are an interracial family, and there are tons of them around there, like there are in DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jewish men make the best husbands OP so no reason to worry.

Jewish MILs on the other hand...

I'm going to have to stick up for my Jewish MIL. She's terrific and has never uttered a word about my not being Jewish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you married interracially, interculturally or interreligiously, what are some of the serious challenges you have faced? Have you been able to overcome them?

I am about to marry interracially, interculturally, AND interreligiously and don't know anyone else in real life dating interracially, much less marrying someone as different as I am. I am an immigrant, dark skinned Brazilian, raised Catholic and my husband is American, white, and raised Jewish. Apart from me and an AA friend, his family and friends group are exclusively white American Jews.

OP, as long as you love and respect each other, that should be OK. My only word of advice would be, don't live in race-obsessed DC. NYC, SF, Toronto, LA, Boston, may be a best place to live and raise a family.

Lol, Boston, one of the most racially segregated and racially intolerant cities on the east coast.

Agree. In my experience any of the Northeast cities for that matter. They need their own country. The Midwest is a lot progressive in comparison

[Anonymous]

In a way, yes, I regret my interracial marriage. I am white but my parents are immigrants; h was black American. We married young and had children early. That brings a lot of financial and marital stressors. My family had little contact with us. They wouldn't even invite us to holiday dinners. We eventually divorced because, although we loved each other, we really couldn't get over the hurdles. I don't know if things would have been different if my family had been more supportive but I think the worst part is that even now, a decade later, I still have relatives who refuse to acknowledge my kids because they are interracial. So yes, I regret my interracial marriage but mainly I regret my sucky family.