Should I marry my poor boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is willing to make sure you have what you want that is priceless. I've been with guys who had the money but were stingy. Emotional generosity is everything because in a few years you won't love whomever you marry in the same way. That's just the nature of the beast.

So a smart woman makes sure that guy loves her above everything and will lay his cloak in the mud for her. If you don't start out as a goddess in the marriage you'll never be elevated to that position. DON'T BE a good bargain; workhorses abound and any responsible mother is at least partially equine. Get him while you can, OP. You don't deserve him but that's not your problem. Some men like to upgrade.

Love this quote.

[Anonymous]

I did and it turned out fine. A lot can change over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like you are truly in love with him, so I wouldn't marry him.

+1! However, OP makes it clear that she's not looking for love.

She's looking for a price point.

[Anonymous]

OP, the irony of your post is that you are viewing this decision from a transnational standpoint, not emotional/in love decision. That in itself is a big issue, his earning capacity doesn't come into the picture.

[Anonymous]

transactional*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like you are truly in love with him, so I wouldn't marry him.

+1! However, OP makes it clear that she's not looking for love.

She's looking for a price point.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Transactional marriages are stronger marriages

[Anonymous]

Our HHI is 120k and we do just fine, but neither of us needs the best of everything. We are comfortable but don't live in luxury; it's all about your value system. Sounds like you might be materialistic, so my situation wont work out for you.

[Anonymous]

Do 20-something's really expect to make much more than that?

[Anonymous]

I make 65k. DH makes around 85k. When I married him, he was making less than me. Because I love him, I married him anyway.

Finances are important in a marriage, but they are not the most important thing, unless you are a materialistic asshole.

[Anonymous]

Op, yes unless "money" represents anything else on a larger scale. Is he disappointed in what he makes? (I certainly do not think he should be at all!!) Does he play "the victim"? Is he resilient to set-backs? How does he act in the face of challenges? I'd say these are the important "success" characteristics to look for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bigger questions: is he responsible with the money he does have, is he responsible and diligent in his work and personal life, and is he generous and fair?
Much more important IMHO.

OP here. He is extremely responsible and good with his money but he is also exceptionally generous and makes sure I am want for nothing even with our current salary. If I want something, he makes sure I get it.

He is a perfect partner. I just get worried about the cost of living in this area and realize that everyone with 2 kids has like over 200k salary. We barely make a 100k now and neither of us is in banking or law or medicine.

I just don't want to be 35 and stressing about money with 2 kids and a house.

DH and I each made less than that at your ages. 15 years later, we have two kids and HHI of $200K. Not great by DCM standards, but enough to live comfortably in this area. You're both at the start of your careers. That's a great income for his age!

[Anonymous]

He is 26 years old and makes 65K.
How old are you and how much do you make?
25 AND 45K

Op, marriage is best between equals and - sorry gal - you're coming up short.
(half kidding, but really Op you need some soul searching)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends what you consider 'poor.' How much does he make?

He is 26 years old and makes 65K.

English professors make an average of $68,730 per year.

[Anonymous]

Is he still relatively young & still has a chance to turn things around??

While I do not personally believe one should marry for the money, I also would have an issue w/a guy who isn't ambitious enough career-wise.

Personally, I like a guy who goes after what he truly wants in life, and goes after it w/a passion so intense. That is hot to me.

But to each his own.