Can't my kid win just one time?

[Anonymous]

Love him. Let him know you love him. 90 percent of success in life is just showing up. 11 year old sports stars flame out and have physical molecular breakdown eventually. Anybody can weight train and have a stronger body when a little older. Tell him he's a late bloomer and will be snagging hotties by the boatload by following a few fundemental rules anybody can do if they want to.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to give him some good examples of people who did not shine until later in life.

We were always told in college that the C students would be running the businesses and A students would be their workers. I've found it to be somewhat true.

And there are lots of advantages to being well-rounded and not necessarily the best. The best are often hated or loved for the wrong reasons. I'm pretty sure my sense of humor comes from my years of being pudgy and average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you really great at one particular thing? Is your DW? Are you guys star athletes, or elected officials? Are you the best person anywhere in your field? If not, why would you put higher expectations on your kid than you have for yourself? I'm good at my job, but there are others who are even better. This weekend, my kid went to soccer, where he is a mediocre player, and did his pre-swim team clinic, where he is one of the weaker swimmers. I'm super proud of him for getting out there and having a great attitude about both of them.

PP, I like you. I am frequently in awe of my kid's ability to do stuff that he likes whether or not he's good at it.

[Anonymous]

What does he love? Support him in doing the things he loves, even if you don't see value in them.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid like this too

Just remind him many successful business owners/entrepreneurs were just average students.

[Anonymous]

Ah I felt so bad the other day when my sister posted on FB she was celebrating because it was the first week in her 16-year old down syndrome's dd's life that she didn't call home crying or didn't lose something or get a call from a teacher.

It's all relative OP. Try to enjoy your son as he is. Normal people make good neighbors and contribute to society in their own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah I felt so bad the other day when my sister posted on FB she was celebrating because it was the first week in her 16-year old down syndrome's dd's life that she didn't call home crying or didn't lose something or get a call from a teacher.

It's all relative OP. Try to enjoy your son as he is. Normal people make good neighbors and contribute to society in their own way.

This is not OP but thanks for the post and helping me put things in perspective. I am going through a sad time with DD and this helped me.

[Anonymous]

If your son only tried cub scouts I would look again at Boy Scouts. It's different--there are adult leaders but the boys also have their own leadership structure and they must take on leadership roles in order to advance. I never enjoyed cub scouts with my son but I've gotten more involved since he crossed over to Boy Scouts and am impressed with the organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jack of all trades, master of none -- that's ok. Not giving up and a strong work ethic will get him further in life.

That said. I get it. My DS is unathletic, too. Last to be picked in pickup basketball, kids don't want to pass the ball to him. I told DS he needs to practice more if he wants to get better. He's gotten a bit better, but still not at the other kids' league. But the fact that he practiced almost everyday outside is going to help him out more in the long run and is what makes me more proud.

+1 To be great at anything you have to practice. A lot. Ask any serious musician how much they practiced when they were young. Ask any competitive swimmer, gymnast or athlete how much they trained. The answer is almost every day. My nephew is in a serious soccer league and practices with his father outside of team practice. I used to be a serious pianist and did competitions and practiced every day. Some kids have the innate discipline to do it on their own, some need a tiger parent riding their ass, and most kids are somewhere in between.

[Anonymous]

OP, you didn't mention in your post about having fun. Is he having fun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Methinks you are the methinkser.

I am, and not ashamed of it


Why do you do it?

[Anonymous]

I really think you should get him involved in some community service. I find that if you feel useful because you are helping people, you feel good about yourself. And maybe discover something about yourself that unlocks some potential

[Anonymous]

By the time I was 10 I was routinely winning awards for creative writing and an individual sport. I had a professional coach and practiced daily. By middle school I had dropped out of both because it was intense and I became afraid of both success and failure (in part due to pressure from parents, teachers, coach). I didn't pursue the creative career I wanted, and am now derided for being a SAHM, and am finally (!) going after my dreams.

My absolute greatest achievement is parenting kids who do well in school, are funny, kind, and easy going. I'm giving them the childhood that I believe would have better launched me for success. It has never occurred to me that something is missing in their lives because they've never won anything.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say, my DD, 13, who never one anything -- though she tries hard, was in the right place at the right time, and scored the game winning goal in a Soccer game last weekend. She is embarrassed because 1) she is 13, and 2) she thinks she got lucky (but she did position her self to be there).

On the other hand, in the band at school (wind ensemble), she is now second chair (out of seven saxophones). In this, she knows it is from her hard work, and is proud.