Sister "parenting" my kids

[Anonymous]

OP my sister is like that also. She is childfree by choice (until she married her DH and became a distant step mom) She works with SN adults and talks to my kids like they are also. They aren't. The least little thing they do and she is all over them with her "special voice", which is not really appropriate for them. It was too stern when they were little, and too much of a talk down now that they are older. They really do not like that or her. Its sad because she is their aunt after all. Also her DH, who is from another country, uses force on his kids (he hits them and screams at them) so she is always on me that they be more "respectful' like her step kids. They are not respectful so much as they know that a crack across the face will come if they speak up. if you were wondering if hitting your kids makes for a good result, I can tell you it does not. It always amazed me how people who do not have kids of their own are experts.

[Anonymous]

I think if a parent is there and available to correct/guide the kid, all other adults should shut up. The only exception I could imagine is if the parent is being abusive, then it makes sense to step in.

I have a family member who started speaking harshly to one of my kids who was misbehaving. I was right there and dealing with the situation, my family member was just piling on. I said to him (the adult), "please stop." when he continued I said, "this is not helping, please stop." when he continued I told him he had to leave my house.

OP, you have tried to nicely tell your SIL to knock it off, with stuff about being the "fun aunt." I think you should tell her honestly that what she is doing really annoys you and is inappropriate and you would like her to stop.

[Anonymous]

My childless sister corrects my kids too. To the point that my older son asked - why doesn't Aunt XX like me? It bugs me, and I haven't been as direct as I should have been. Maybe next time. I only see her about once or twice a year, so I've let it slide.

Also - when we do see her, we're on vacation. I don't want to be on them like hawks, as I usually am. We all need a break!

[Anonymous]

There an older Aunt in our extended family who was a teacher for 30+ years and was always right about everything, and incredibly bossy and controlling around all kids. Clearly she took her work home with her.

[Anonymous]

only see each other max 3-4 days per year

Say, "Our kids, our rules"

Say something to let her know she does not have big-sister-power over you.

However, this is only 3-4 days out of entire year? Hardly worth stressing about. Your kids can cope

[Anonymous]

Sounds annoying. I wouldn't tell her about the aspergers either. (I have a kid with it too, and I have told most family but not a few. It's medical info your child may choose to share it not as he gets older.) If she doesn't know how to relate to kids it won't help anyway.