Siblings and play dates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only (age 7) and I feel like I deal with this constantly. All of my child's play dates are drop offs.
I don't understand why mothers feel its ok to ask me if their other child can tag along? I know you have the child. I didn't invite them for a reason. Why must you put me on the spot?
I'm asked 9/10 times, or it's assumed that their other child can come too and they show up at my door.
Now I'm having to address it beforehand and make sure they know that only my child's friend is invited.
I've even had moms ask me on more than one occasion if their other children can come to my child's birthday party. I wouldn't mind as much if its in a home setting but at a venue when i'm paying by the head, that's ridiculous.
Why do parents with multiple kids think this is ok?

As a mom with two kids close in age, I deal with this ALL THE TIME. 90% of the time, I show up with one child (you know, the kid who was on the invite) for the mom to ask, "Where is Larlo?" I still only bring one child regardless, but maybe these moms have had similar experiences - and figure that they should just ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only (age 7) and I feel like I deal with this constantly. All of my child's play dates are drop offs.
I don't understand why mothers feel its ok to ask me if their other child can tag along? I know you have the child. I didn't invite them for a reason. Why must you put me on the spot?
I'm asked 9/10 times, or it's assumed that their other child can come too and they show up at my door.
Now I'm having to address it beforehand and make sure they know that only my child's friend is invited.
I've even had moms ask me on more than one occasion if their other children can come to my child's birthday party. I wouldn't mind as much if its in a home setting but at a venue when i'm paying by the head, that's ridiculous.
Why do parents with multiple kids think this is ok?

Trying to drop off a tagalong sibling when the playdate is drop off?? That's absurd; that's just asking for babysitting. Jeez. Some people are shameless.

[Anonymous]

I have an only, and fully expect siblings at play dates. And I expect my daughter to include the sibling when age-appropriate. But I think it's nuts to expect someone to arrange for a sitter for a play date.

Now, my DD is only 3, but I can see it being annoying once kids are old enough to be dropped off and the parents drop off a sibling too. That's not cool.

[Anonymous]

If I have a Playdate and I invite mom and know she has younger children I expect those kids will come. That's common sense, and I'd accommodate,everyone. It's different once the kids are at a drop off age and you as a parent are no longer invited. Take,your child along,and facilitate so,e of the playing and help,give them a bit of structure. Ie,sing a few songs or books, and then let them be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only, and fully expect siblings at play dates. And I expect my daughter to include the sibling when age-appropriate. But I think it's nuts to expect someone to arrange for a sitter for a play date.

Now, my DD is only 3, but I can see it being annoying once kids are old enough to be dropped off and the parents drop off a sibling too. That's not cool.

Agreed. I didn't really do play dates before my child entered school at 3.5 so I never dealt with that. My issue has been with drop off playdates now that my child is older (7). I am repeatedly put in a position where I'm being used as a babysitting service and being put on the spot to say no.

I had one child call yesterday and ask my kid if she wanted to come over for a play date. I said it didn't work today but we could tomorrow. So she put her mom on the phone, but before the mom spoke to me I could hear her speaking to her child. She said what did you arrange? To go to their house? and of course the kid said yes even though that wasn't what we'd agreed to. The Mom came on the phone and said, Ok so "name" is coming to your place tomorrow? I said that would be fine. She said ok, there will be a little tag along or there will be hurt feelings. Meaning her 3 year old. I was like how did this happen? One minute I'm agreeing to let my daughter come to your house and the next I am taking all of yours? No thanks.
I don't mind the two seven year olds together. They play nicely and keep busy. But a three year old, and I'm stuck babysitting.

[Anonymous]

I agree that bringing a sibling along on drop-off playdates is BS and should not be happening.

But if you're asking why a younger sibling is brought along to a playdate where mom stays around, the honest answer is this: because a playdate is not an event that merits the hiring of babysitters. It just isn't. We love playdates but not enough to pay for them. This is why I only do dropoff playdates or get together with families that won't mind the sibling.