Jack and Jill of America under attack again...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing anyone can brag about is the exclusivity of the group. "You have to be INVITED to be one of us!" It's so childish it's sad. It also gets at some really sad deep rooted issues in the black community.

It is true that most people tend to gravitate towards those who are likeminded and similarly situated. That's human nature. The fact that I must be a part of an invites-only organization to do so is where the black pathology of inferiority and needing soooooo badly to be a part of comes in.

And please don't think for a second that the only way to interact with judges and other black professionals is by being a part of J&J. Most intellects and successful people don't need or want to be a part of that group in order to feel special. Our accomplishments speak for themselves. We interact and live around one another all day without having to be part of an outdated group borne out of a desire to emulate wealthy Whites.

You all sound so sadly insecure and childish with your "But you're not part of my group!" As if one would need to be in order to be successful. There are many more judges, doctors etc who are NOT a part of J&J than who are.

I can understand why you're bothered by Jack & Jill. It was never intended for poor and working class blacks to join, and those blacks bristle at the notion that they're not even welcome in a black organization. The hard truth is that everything isn't for everybody, and well-educated middle/upper middle/rich black people have a right to socialize with whomever they choose--even if it offends and excludes you. I grew up in Jack & Jill, and I'm now a mother in the organization. I have heard the "snobby" and "elistist" criticisms since I was a child, and it still amuses me. Some Jack & Jill members are snobby and elistist, and some are not--just like everyone else. Jack & Jill is almost 80 years old, and much to your chagrin, it's not going anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I always heard J&J was a light skinned brown paper bag preferred group, like some sororities and fraternities were back in the day. If you were too dark, you were not welcome. I hope that has at least changed.

I think that has changed, but it's still an organization that prides itself on exclusivity. For that reason, I've never had an interest. I'm not sure I'd even be wanted (I am highly educated, but did not grow up rich and will never be rich), but I wouldn't want to be part of an organization that my parents (working class, no college) would not be invited to join and I don't want to teach my kids to value exclusivity.

It hasn't been exclusive for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I always heard J&J was a light skinned brown paper bag preferred group, like some sororities and fraternities were back in the day. If you were too dark, you were not welcome. I hope that has at least changed.

I think that has changed, but it's still an organization that prides itself on exclusivity. For that reason, I've never had an interest. I'm not sure I'd even be wanted (I am highly educated, but did not grow up rich and will never be rich), but I wouldn't want to be part of an organization that my parents (working class, no college) would not be invited to join and I don't want to teach my kids to value exclusivity.

It hasn't been exclusive for 20 years.

Chapters in big cities (i.e., DC, NYC, LA, SF, Atlanta, Philly, etc.) were and still are exclusive. Suburban chapters are usually easier to join. My big city chapter takes in new members once every other year. We usually have spots for only half of the people who are sponsored by current members, and all of the prospective members that I have seen are very well qualified--there just isn't enough room to take all of them.

[Anonymous]

As a Black woman, this thread saddens me. I am not a member of J&J. I have never been invited to attend a J&J event. I've never been asked if I'm interested in the organization. I have many friends who are members . d they speak openly about the organization and the events, etc... In DC it feels like the organization is a who's who of the Black wealthy, connected and beautiful. They do really good things and the people that I know are lovely, wonderful people. I don't have the pedigree for the organization and I'm genuinely not interested in joining but I think it's a positive thing that the organization has endured and has a rich legacy.

My friend's chapter in another big city is comprised of postal workers, teachers, judges, law partners, business executives, etc... To me, that chapter represents more of the modern Black experience. It's not good or bad but from what I understand they recognize that likeminded individuals (with the means to pay the dues and pay for the events) exist across the entire Black family construct.

We need to stop tearing the organization down for its history of excluding folks. J&J has evolved beyond skin color but not exclusivity. That's ok. Invitation-only clubs will continue to exist until the end of days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a Black woman, this thread saddens me. I am not a member of J&J. I have never been invited to attend a J&J event. I've never been asked if I'm interested in the organization. I have many friends who are members . d they speak openly about the organization and the events, etc... In DC it feels like the organization is a who's who of the Black wealthy, connected and beautiful. They do really good things and the people that I know are lovely, wonderful people. I don't have the pedigree for the organization and I'm genuinely not interested in joining but I think it's a positive thing that the organization has endured and has a rich legacy.

My friend's chapter in another big city is comprised of postal workers, teachers, judges, law partners, business executives, etc... To me, that chapter represents more of the modern Black experience. It's not good or bad but from what I understand they recognize that likeminded individuals (with the means to pay the dues and pay for the events) exist across the entire Black family construct.

We need to stop tearing the organization down for its history of excluding folks. J&J has evolved beyond skin color but not exclusivity. That's ok. Invitation-only clubs will continue to exist until the end of days

Thank you - let this be the end of this conversation.

[Anonymous]

NP. J&J members, here's a question for you. I don't know much about J&J, but was invited to an event within the past year (several J&J members in my new neighborhood). Why is it only moms? My husband and I try to do 50-50 parenting, so seems a little old school that it's a moms-only social organization? And how's it different from Links? I guess for Links you don't have to have kids?

Sorry, my family is not US-born so don't know much about it but genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing anyone can brag about is the exclusivity of the group. "You have to be INVITED to be one of us!" It's so childish it's sad. It also gets at some really sad deep rooted issues in the black community.

It is true that most people tend to gravitate towards those who are likeminded and similarly situated. That's human nature. The fact that I must be a part of an invites-only organization to do so is where the black pathology of inferiority and needing soooooo badly to be a part of comes in.

And please don't think for a second that the only way to interact with judges and other black professionals is by being a part of J&J. Most intellects and successful people don't need or want to be a part of that group in order to feel special. Our accomplishments speak for themselves. We interact and live around one another all day without having to be part of an outdated group borne out of a desire to emulate wealthy Whites.

You all sound so sadly insecure and childish with your "But you're not part of my group!" As if one would need to be in order to be successful. There are many more judges, doctors etc who are NOT a part of J&J than who are.

I can understand why you're bothered by Jack & Jill. It was never intended for poor and working class blacks to join, and those blacks bristle at the notion that they're not even welcome in a black organization. The hard truth is that everything isn't for everybody, and well-educated middle/upper middle/rich black people have a right to socialize with whomever they choose--even if it offends and excludes you. I grew up in Jack & Jill, and I'm now a mother in the organization. I have heard the "snobby" and "elistist" criticisms since I was a child, and it still amuses me. Some Jack & Jill members are snobby and elistist, and some are not--just like everyone else. Jack & Jill is almost 80 years old, and much to your chagrin, it's not going anywhere.

NP here and I completely agree with this.

They are entitle to make their own private club and invite or exclude who they want. On the same token, I am free to make up my own private club and invite or exclude who I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. J&J members, here's a question for you. I don't know much about J&J, but was invited to an event within the past year (several J&J members in my new neighborhood). Why is it only moms? My husband and I try to do 50-50 parenting, so seems a little old school that it's a moms-only social organization? And how's it different from Links? I guess for Links you don't have to have kids?

Sorry, my family is not US-born so don't know much about it but genuinely curious.

It's a mother's social organization so we do stuff for and with the children but we also do things on our own. However, you will also find dad's taking the children to some of our functions. There is actually a Father's Auxillary for the husbands of the mother's in the organization. They get together on their own and do some things with the children as well. That's good you were invited to a couple of functions. Ordinarily prior to obtaining membership they require you attend a certain number of events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg why am I just hearing about this!!!! Lol

But Stacie turner from House wives of DC was a jack and Jill mom and she represented her self very well imo

Loved Stacie Turner! She seemed like a very nice, level-headed person -- which of course doesn't play well on the Real Housewives shows but who cares!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg why am I just hearing about this!!!! Lol

But Stacie turner from House wives of DC was a jack and Jill mom and she represented her self very well imo

Loved Stacie Turner! She seemed like a very nice, level-headed person -- which of course doesn't play well on the Real Housewives shows but who cares!

Perhaps, but she (and her cast mates) bored me to tears. This new crop in Potomac/Bethesda/Rockville/Suburgatory promises to provide a lot more drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg why am I just hearing about this!!!! Lol

But Stacie turner from House wives of DC was a jack and Jill mom and she represented her self very well imo

Loved Stacie Turner! She seemed like a very nice, level-headed person -- which of course doesn't play well on the Real Housewives shows but who cares!

Perhaps, but she (and her cast mates) bored me to tears. This new crop in Potomac/Bethesda/Rockville/Suburgatory promises to provide a lot more drama.

lol I heard Columbia MD too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg why am I just hearing about this!!!! Lol

But Stacie turner from House wives of DC was a jack and Jill mom and she represented her self very well imo

Loved Stacie Turner! She seemed like a very nice, level-headed person -- which of course doesn't play well on the Real Housewives shows but who cares!

Perhaps, but she (and her cast mates) bored me to tears. This new crop in Potomac/Bethesda/Rockville/Suburgatory promises to provide a lot more drama.

Pp here -- yeah, I just like watching people who seem like nice people visiting places around DC that I've visited. I'm kind of a boring person that way. And of course the DC RH was wonderful because we got to see the lead up to the Salahis crashing the White House.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Jack and Jill in the 60's and have been a member of my current chapter for twenty-six years. As with anything, the organization is what
you bring to it as well as engaging in the opportunities it provides. I can personally say that the organization has evolved throughout the years. Yes, there may be some pretentious people in certain chapters
but our chapter appears to be void of much of that. I can personally say that I have met some very wonderful people in Jack and Jill.
It is an excellent organization for our youth and teens to learn about parliamentary procedure, the financial
component of fundraising, networking, working in the community and leadership. The social aspect for our teens is remarkable. Our motto is let's work, let's play and make
no mistake, Jack and Jill teens are encouraged to enjoy the social attributes that come with membership. In other words, the teens get to party and at some events
it may be six hundred teens and their guests attending and higher. Additionally, J&J's legislative component has voiced their concerns on
matters important to African Americans. They are no longer silent and that is a good thing. If you are interested in joining, contact your local chapter. Each
chapter has different criteria to join. In our chapter, it only requires someone to invite you. I hope that this has been of some help to someone.

[Anonymous]

Why is politically correct to have an all black organization?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is politically correct to have an all black organization?

Life is a white run place. If people want to join a group with people who live and who can relate to their experience. How diverse are the organizations you belong to? Look around you and answer that honestly. How would it feel is everywhere you engaged--work, neighborhood where of a different race than you. It feels nice to be with others who are not asking this question that you ask--ignorantly.