Wedding Advice - WWYD if you could do it over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re: 16:13, it took me a while to understand how much it means to parents to be able to invite their friends. I thought of my wedding as primarily DH's and my day, but now I understand how our parents saw it a bit as their day, a culmination of everything they had done to raise us. I also later realized my parents' wedding was planned by their parents, so it's logical that they expected to plan more of mine. Watch for this generation gap.

+100 Don't forget to honor your parents and their wishes when you can. Sometimes a wedding planner can save you a lot of money. Don't let the children of your friends run the expenses up. We would have been better off to spend the money on paying down our student debts, the honeymoon, our house. (which my thrifty parents suggested)

[Anonymous]

Do not spend a fortune on the dress. saving it, putting in storage etc ect CRAZY.

[Anonymous]

1) I would not get married
2) I would elope
3) do not spend any money
4) spend the money you would have spent on a wedding on a pre-nup instead.

[Anonymous]

I loved my wedding. We went to the court house then had a huge pot luck after. Invited everybody. No one was left out. No stress. No hurt feelings. All the little kids had a great time. Greatest.time.ever. I still dressed up like a princess, and DH wore a tux. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

I would have had a courthouse ceremony with family and then thrown a big cocktail/ fun party for 5k with good drinks, Dj, little red dress, etc after and saved money for honeymoon and house down payment.

[Anonymous]

decisions i was happy with: no favors, no bridal party
things i wish i did differently: longer reception (things were so fun by the end it was sad to wind down), put all wedding costs on a credit card for points instead of paying cash

[Anonymous]

hiring a day of planner was one of the best decisions i made. her job was to be the bad guy. she asked me in advance for any friends/family who get out of control when drinking. i showed her pics, she showed them to the bartenders, and their drinks were watered down/monitored. she also asked me about any particularly difficult family members. i introduced her to MIL. MIL was trying to move the chairs around before the ceremony and generally change shit. day of planner was the bad guy and told her NO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planned my own wedding too. Two regrets. Splurge on the photographer over everything else. Appoint a backup wedding planner (not you) to deal with the event day stuff, tipping caterers, etc... Not your Mom, but a close Aunt would be perfect.

Oh, and figure out your dress first before anything.

Congratulations!!

15:42 Here-- Totally agree with having a Day Of coordinator. Doesn't have to be a paid person, but someone in your family or bridal party that can take care of things the Day Of. (Although you can pay for one, and with 700 people, it might be worth it). My MOH is a meeting planner, so I trusted her and her judgment. After we set up, I told everyone, "MOH is now in charge. Any problems or questions go to her. My job now is to enjoy my wedding day." Then I told MOH, "Whatever decision you make, I will back you up 100%. I trust you and your decisions making." Then make sure you let go of control. Once the day is here, nothing you can do but enjoy whatever happens.

don't use family- let them enjoy the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I have thought about this so much OP:

1. Make sure the spouse you have picked is appropriate.

2. What do people remember most about weddings? If the bride looked crappy and the DJ was bad. So make sure those things don't happen!

3. The photographer is also very important, as pps stated. Everything except this and the above you can go cheap. But make sure you're pretty, the DJ is good, and the photographer is good.

4. Don't give up too easily on your dreams. I always wanted a small, simple wedding but DH's parents wanted to invite everyone they knew. I let it go because I didn't want a fight but sometimes I wished I hadn't. Don't be a bridezilla but don't be afraid to assert yourself.

open bar and music

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents paid for the entire wedding. DH's family contributed 100 guests and $0.
When my DDs marry, the groom's family will pay half.

Those who pay also get input. 50% of cost equals half of the decisons...

Just remember that.

A better plan wpuld be raising your daighter so be self sufficient enough thay she can pay for her own wedding.

tell that to MIL. all parents (including dh and me) contributed 10K+. She contributed 1K and made the most demands out of everyone. I'm talking screaming, crying, and not speaking to DH for several days each time he told her she couldn't add another table of guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, don't listen to the people who tell you not to have favors.

Favors are cute and thoughtful. You don't need to pay an arm and a leg for them, but there has to be a little somethings.

I treasure every favor from every wedding I went to. The cutest one is a porcelain doll with a decidely Irish look to it. I love it to bits.

you are the only person i've ever heard say this. i've definitely left most of the favors on the table, accidentally/drunkenly.

best favors i've ever gotten were consumable: water, snacks, etc

[Anonymous]

I had an Indian wedding. Courthouse wedding.

My mom and SIL planned the reception. We just showed up and had a blast. I am so glad I didn't spend a year fretting over details.

[Anonymous]

I would go back in time, elope, and bank the cash.

[Anonymous]

Check to make sure my brother and father's tuxes matched the rest of the wedding party. Didn't even realize it until after the ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Wish we would have hired a professional videographer.

You don't really need a wedding planner if you're going to put in the work, but make sure there will be someone on site that day, either from the venue or the catering company, that will sort of run things.

Also, a good DJ will keep things on schedule.