Easter gifts from grandparents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are married with children now and MIL sending wrapped gifts for Easter is now your Easter tradition.
What is the big deal in having your kids unwrap presents versus plucking them out of a basket?
OP, check yourself. I can't imagine explaining with a straight face that unwrapping gifts is not the Easter you are envisioning.

+1

My mom is like this. It annoys me for multiple reasons but I try to be grateful my kids have such an attentive and generous (and wealthy) grandma and let it go.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like a bit of a control freak. I suspect what is going on behind the scenes is that OP's parents don't sent sh*t to the kids and OP is consciously or subconsciously reminded of this every time the MIL's package arrives and this is her way of dealing with her conflict about it. Sweetie, get over yourself. Let your kids get gifts from those that love them - ALL gifts unless dangerous, inappropriate, etc. Also, over think things much? Take a page from your DH's book and chill. Since you asked...

[Anonymous]

Why do people like overcomplicate the most basic things in life??? OP just give the kids their gift and move on. I really don't see the big deal. My mom gives my kids gifts from Valentines day and Easter and we got gifts growing up as well from our grandma. It was always something very basic, but it was just her way of expressing love towards us.

[Anonymous]

Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

What on earth do you think you'd be teaching your kids? Won't you want to relay the message that you gratefully accept a gift? That you don't purposefully hurt someone's feelings? That faily is important? That you respect your elders? So what if she didn't really want your input on getting additional gifts to the smaller ones. So what if you want to say, "don't buy more gifts." Just zip your lip and be grateful your kids are loved and remembered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would have a conversation with her and ask if she wants to make the Easter baskets next year. (Not in a rude way but very sincere) My guess is that she would be super excited and would send great baskets. Then your problem is solved. Only 1 basket, no gifts. I understand that you might want to do nice things for your children, but it would give her way more joy than it gives you. You also get the pleasure of actually seeing them dye eggs, find them, etc. If she wants to buy things, let her have some fun.

My mom is you MIL. I send her my kids Christmas list as ever year. I don't buy a thing. She wraps the gifts, and even puts from mom/dad on a few. LOL Doesn't bother me one bit. I send her sizes for every season and she mails us clothes. When I see something in particular I want for my girls, I send her the link and she buys it. When we get it, I say look what grandma got you! It works for us. Good Luck.


Also forgot to say that I once asked my mom about not buying and instead saving for their college fund etc. She replied " I do the shopping so that you can save. That's your job"

Good point by mom!
Remember, grandma won't be around forever. Let her spoil her grandkids a little. It will be a nice memory for the kids when they are older.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Pp has it right. Let the kids open the gifts and give grandma credit. Agree with bonding and memories of grandparents. In a week kids will have forgotten about cheap toys and you can toss then.

It's really not that hard to think of others than yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

What on earth do you think you'd be teaching your kids? Won't you want to relay the message that you gratefully accept a gift? That you don't purposefully hurt someone's feelings? That faily is important? That you respect your elders? So what if she didn't really want your input on getting additional gifts to the smaller ones. So what if you want to say, "don't buy more gifts." Just zip your lip and be grateful your kids are loved and remembered.

If she just sent the gifts, I would certainly zip my lips and just act grateful, have the kids call right away to say thank you, send a note, etc. But she keeps asking for my input on the gifts. When should she send them? When will we be opening them? What should she send? Has the box arrived? Oh! just checked the tracking! The package will be here this afternoon! Should we plan to open them before vacation or after vacation? It drives me crazy. Maybe that's my problem. Not this gifts but the hundreds of questions/emails about the gifts that I am expected to answer.

[Anonymous]

the gifts...not this gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

What on earth do you think you'd be teaching your kids? Won't you want to relay the message that you gratefully accept a gift? That you don't purposefully hurt someone's feelings? That faily is important? That you respect your elders? So what if she didn't really want your input on getting additional gifts to the smaller ones. So what if you want to say, "don't buy more gifts." Just zip your lip and be grateful your kids are loved and remembered.

If she just sent the gifts, I would certainly zip my lips and just act grateful, have the kids call right away to say thank you, send a note, etc. But she keeps asking for my input on the gifts. When should she send them? When will we be opening them? What should she send? Has the box arrived? Oh! just checked the tracking! The package will be here this afternoon! Should we plan to open them before vacation or after vacation? It drives me crazy. Maybe that's my problem. Not this gifts but the hundreds of questions/emails about the gifts that I am expected to answer.

Clearly she feels a connection to the child by providing the gifts. She wants to know that the items arrived, when they arrived and when they will be opened. Is it such a big deal to suck it up a few times a year and answer a few questions about them? Let's say she asks the same questions every day for 4 days before the gifts arrive, and then does this 6 times a year. The whole conversation to cover all of those questions is about 5 minutes max. That's a total of 2 hours over the course of 365 days. Such a NON issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.

Invite your mil over, pile all her Easter presents in the driveway, and make her watch as you back over them with your car. She'll get the message.

[Anonymous]

You should give them the gifts , some kids don’t even get gifts from there grand parents, let them spoil them , to a limit, just tell them not over due it, cause the Easter bunny has goodie’s too! best of luck to ya !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMFG are your cheap???
Make your own basket.
She deserves credit for what she bought. You want to tak that from her? Disgusting.

Please don't be rude. I did make my own basket! It's ready to go. It's plenty for my children to get on Easter, a holiday not traditionally associated with piles and piles of gifts.

OP, it’s just the boomers. The ones with lots of discretionary income don’t know what the heck to do with it so they blow it on ridiculous stuff for their grandchildren. It’s really about them. They want to be treated like they’re the second coming of tge messiah. If they have money, just wait until they start talking about wills and inheritances. My mom is like this, will send ridiculous presents but will do a 180 and be so painfully cheap and act like she’s at the poverty level when I kinda hope she’ll splurge a bit. Like she has enough money to pay for a nice comfortable town car from the airport but will insist on a no frills cab then complain about the smell and bad driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.

Oh for goodness sake. This is NOT a big deal. It's not. Stop being so controlling and be gracious that you have a MIL that shows interest in your kids. Let them have the gifts. Put them away the next day and pull them out again at a later time.

THis is not a real problem.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would have an issue with this because to me, tons of gifts overrides the meaning of the holiday, and it could to you as well seeing as how you are a church going Christian. A modest Easter basket is one thing, but associating the holiday with a lot of gift unwrapping to me overshadows what it should all be about. I would maybe put it aside all but one Easter gift from her in a single gift basket or bag, and let your MIL know your feelings about the holiday and have the children open it about a week after Easter, saying “Grandma sent some presents for spring!” And FaceTiming her while you open them. But it really depends on what your specific issue is. With me, it would be about preserving the meaning of the holiday itself..if the issue is the “junk”, then this wouldn't really work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.

It’s a love language to a point. Eventually it’s a bad habit like playing at the slots, and in some cases for these oh so generous grandparents, Amazon is the slots.