Easter gifts from grandparents

[Anonymous]

I agree with op.... Unwrapping multiple gifts on Easter (junk at that) is silly. Do it this year and then tell her 1 gift per kid going forward. You get to decide on the tradition in your house.... Not mil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. I am in your corner, and it's my own mother we're talking about. My parents are wonderful, involved grandparents but can be over the top in the gift-giving department. I have to dial them back every Christmas otherwise DC would have twice as many gifts from my parents as from us. I don't want an arms race for who can give the most and best gifts.

It's strange, because they didn't raise me with Easter as a gift-giving holiday but they've told me they have two gifts for DC, neither one of which is Easter or religious-focused, both simply toys. I've convinced them to hold off on one. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your MIL. If so, I don't think it's wrong to have a kind conversation letting her know how awesome she is as a grandma but you don't want your kids growing up expecting a stack of loot at every holiday. Putting those items in the Easter basket sounds like a great compromise, maybe keeping one separate to officially be from her.

I get it.

My kids absolutely get twice as many gifts from my in-laws than from us on Christmas. I've come to terms with Christmas as a big gift holiday, and I guess I'll come around to Easter too.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. But you might have to let this go to keep the peace.

Each of my kids has one small "junk" bin for cheap toys and party favor type things. When the bin is full, they need to get rid of stuff before keeping new stuff. There's always going to be junky toys you don't need showing up, and they kids will like it because as you pointed out, they don't know the difference. So keep some, weed out often.

[Anonymous]

See, I have a different take on this. I view chronic gift giving like this as a way to take control and bring the attention back to her. At least with my in-town MIL - never shows up without bags of stuff. Most of it we end up giving away as my kids don't like it. But, I feel like it's her way of let's make this gathering more about sitting around and watching people open presents and thanking her. I take the approach of we are trying to keep the clutter down - which is true.

[Anonymous]

This is my mother! Ah. One- I have an amazon list and regularly update her on sizes and needs. She is going to buy anyway so I just try to direct it. Two- I make my 4 year old make a donation pile before or right after gifts. He is involved, we talk about how lucky he is and how others don't have as much. My mom understands that sometimes these donations will be things she have us. She might think we are strict but she keeps giving gifts- so it must not bother her that much.

[Anonymous]

My mil sends a box of dollar store crap for EVERY holiday. I go through it, give 1-2 of the least annoying items to my kids and toss the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Hi, MIL, we just got a big box of gifts from you that you picked out, wrapped and sent to your grandkids. I am hoping to only give them one, and put the rest into the Easter baskets I put together from the Easter bunny. Who is not their grandmother who lives a distance away and is left just sending gifts to her grandchildren on holiday. Who is actually a made up animal with a curious relation to the actual death of Jesus on a cross. You don't mind the switcher oo right?"

[Anonymous]

OP she probably assumes you're going to put the gifts in the basket and she's sending them to save you money perhaps. Just put turn in the basket or set them aside. No harm done.

[Anonymous]

If a gift is given to a child and it is not going to hurt them they will learn how to give to others. Parents that want to manage everyone around them including the grandparents will teach the child to be uptight and stingy.

[Anonymous]

Can you have them open the gifts before Easter? We generally open wrapped gifts as they come in the mail rather than waiting for the holiday, unless instructed otherwise by the giver. Somehow I think that might make it feel less like "Easter is a day you get a ton of wrapped gifts" and more like "grandma wanted to do something fun since she isn't here to hunt for eggs with you". I agree with PP that putting the gifts in the basket is actually more likely to set up gift expectations for Easters Yet To Come because it will seem like the bunny brings lots of tchotchkes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP she probably assumes you're going to put the gifts in the basket and she's sending them to save you money perhaps. Just put turn in the basket or set them aside. No harm done.

+1

I would have a conversation with her and ask if she wants to make the Easter baskets next year. (Not in a rude way but very sincere) My guess is that she would be super excited and would send great baskets. Then your problem is solved. Only 1 basket, no gifts. I understand that you might want to do nice things for your children, but it would give her way more joy than it gives you. You also get the pleasure of actually seeing them dye eggs, find them, etc. If she wants to buy things, let her have some fun.

My mom is you MIL. I send her my kids Christmas list as ever year. I don't buy a thing. She wraps the gifts, and even puts from mom/dad on a few. LOL Doesn't bother me one bit. I send her sizes for every season and she mails us clothes. When I see something in particular I want for my girls, I send her the link and she buys it. When we get it, I say look what grandma got you! It works for us. Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP she probably assumes you're going to put the gifts in the basket and she's sending them to save you money perhaps. Just put turn in the basket or set them aside. No harm done.

+1

I would have a conversation with her and ask if she wants to make the Easter baskets next year. (Not in a rude way but very sincere) My guess is that she would be super excited and would send great baskets. Then your problem is solved. Only 1 basket, no gifts. I understand that you might want to do nice things for your children, but it would give her way more joy than it gives you. You also get the pleasure of actually seeing them dye eggs, find them, etc. If she wants to buy things, let her have some fun.

My mom is you MIL. I send her my kids Christmas list as ever year. I don't buy a thing. She wraps the gifts, and even puts from mom/dad on a few. LOL Doesn't bother me one bit. I send her sizes for every season and she mails us clothes. When I see something in particular I want for my girls, I send her the link and she buys it. When we get it, I say look what grandma got you! It works for us. Good Luck.

Also forgot to say that I once asked my mom about not buying and instead saving for their college fund etc. She replied " I do the shopping so that you can save. That's your job"

[Anonymous]

^^ good answer by your mom!

[Anonymous]

I would have a conversation with her and ask if she wants to make the Easter baskets next year. (Not in a rude way but very sincere) My guess is that she would be super excited and would send great baskets. Then your problem is solved. Only 1 basket, no gifts. I understand that you might want to do nice things for your children, but it would give her way more joy than it gives you. You also get the pleasure of actually seeing them dye eggs, find them, etc. If she wants to buy things, let her have some fun.

My mom is you MIL. I send her my kids Christmas list as ever year. I don't buy a thing. She wraps the gifts, and even puts from mom/dad on a few. LOL Doesn't bother me one bit. I send her sizes for every season and she mails us clothes. When I see something in particular I want for my girls, I send her the link and she buys it. When we get it, I say look what grandma got you! It works for us. Good Luck.


Also forgot to say that I once asked my mom about not buying and instead saving for their college fund etc. She replied " I do the shopping so that you can save. That's your job"

Good point by mom!
Remember, grandma won't be around forever. Let her spoil her grandkids a little. It will be a nice memory for the kids when they are older.

[Anonymous]

Putting the gifts in the kids' baskets and claiming they are from the Easter bunny seems really strange to me, unless MIL expressly told you to do that. I'm of the opinion that gifts should be accepted gracefully in the spirit with which they are given. In a few weeks they can always be quietly passed on to goodwill. This does seem to come down to a control issue for you- you don't have a problem with the kids getting the stuff, but you want to control the manner in which they are given so that it fits your idea of what the holiday is- I get that, but part of merging families is compromising on family traditions.