Online dating -- Should you talk on the phone before meeting first?

[Anonymous]

I never ask to talk first unless she insists on it and they almost never do. That said, I would have avoided a lot of really bad dates had we talked first. Indeed, when we did talk first, I ended up declining the date we had planned.

So while I admit it's a good idea, and one lady even wanted to video chat when I was on Bumble where they have that, I still don't do it as a rule. I just set a date and go. But don't take my advice, I've probably had 30 first dates in the last year or so.

[Anonymous]

Online dating basics: you agree to meet and invest little in the first meetup. Coffee or one drink at HH. You’ll know in 15 min if you want to see this person again. That’s all the initial meeting is for: do you want to go on an actual date. I’ll never forget winding up at dinner on a Sat night first date with a guy who was 1. Still married, 2. Had 5 kids, 3. Was Mormon. I was not happy that I had hired a babysitter for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP above, and I meant to say that you message for about a week after the first online contact, then meet up in person within 10 days-2 weeks of that first online contact, dependent on your schedule.

+1

And I only suggested coffee or cocktail as a first date. Quick and an hour. Of course, a couple men insisted on meals. I ended up dating them longer.

My rule for first date is that I pay 1/2 of the meal or whatever the expenses are. That shows respect and also that I don't owe anything. I hate when men imply that paying for dates is going to get them any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP above, and I meant to say that you message for about a week after the first online contact, then meet up in person within 10 days-2 weeks of that first online contact, dependent on your schedule.

+1

And I only suggested coffee or cocktail as a first date. Quick and an hour. Of course, a couple men insisted on meals. I ended up dating them longer.

My rule for first date is that I pay 1/2 of the meal or whatever the expenses are. That shows respect and also that I don't owe anything. I hate when men imply that paying for dates is going to get them any favors.

I wish more women think like you. I have heard my DD's friends talking about getting a free meal by going out with guys.

[Anonymous]

Are people still online dating? Or has it died down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never ask to talk first unless she insists on it and they almost never do. That said, I would have avoided a lot of really bad dates had we talked first. Indeed, when we did talk first, I ended up declining the date we had planned.

So while I admit it's a good idea, and one lady even wanted to video chat when I was on Bumble where they have that, I still don't do it as a rule. I just set a date and go. But don't take my advice, I've probably had 30 first dates in the last year or so.

Why not doing it? For me as a woman it takes 3 hrs on average to get dressed, meet and commute to a date . Makes no sense to waste time if someone is clearly not compatible socially

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP above, and I meant to say that you message for about a week after the first online contact, then meet up in person within 10 days-2 weeks of that first online contact, dependent on your schedule.

+1

And I only suggested coffee or cocktail as a first date. Quick and an hour. Of course, a couple men insisted on meals. I ended up dating them longer.

My rule for first date is that I pay 1/2 of the meal or whatever the expenses are. That shows respect and also that I don't owe anything. I hate when men imply that paying for dates is going to get them any favors.

I wish more women think like you. I have heard my DD's friends talking about getting a free meal by going out with guys.

Oh again men complaining at women dating them for free meals. Do video dates if you don’t want to pay for coffee and drinks

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP above, and I meant to say that you message for about a week after the first online contact, then meet up in person within 10 days-2 weeks of that first online contact, dependent on your schedule.

+1

And I only suggested coffee or cocktail as a first date. Quick and an hour. Of course, a couple men insisted on meals. I ended up dating them longer.

My rule for first date is that I pay 1/2 of the meal or whatever the expenses are. That shows respect and also that I don't owe anything. I hate when men imply that paying for dates is going to get them any favors.

Men never implied it with me not sure why you feel that way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was strange the first time a woman suggested it, but a quick FaceTime has saved me dates with someone missing all of their front teeth, and someone pretending to be a different sex.

OK, but how did the dates go?