IL's Dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

That's the plan. I've been gone on business or personal travel for a good part of the first three weeks, so thankfully my contact has been limited until now. This weekend was warmer weather where we are, and I was home, so lots more activity going on outside and lots more of the dog going nuts.

I messaged DH from work this morning and asked him to find the old baby gates. Our house is open concept so I can't totally confine him to a non-carpeted space, but I can limit his run of the house. I also told him I will expect that he schedules the carpet/furniture cleaning for after the beast is gone.

I'm confused. So you've been gone for most of the past 3 weeks. Who has been watching this dog?

DH, mostly. Just because I have been on business travel does not mean no one has been home.

I got some baby gates and closed off the front room with the windows where the beast stands to bark. That and keeping the curtains closed has at least eliminated that problem. I told my DH and DS that all rooms are to remain closed (i.e. close the door behind you when you enter and exit a room) so the dog can't access them. That basically limits him to three rooms that are not easily closed off because of the design of our house. And that under no circumstances is the dog to be allowed inside the house without the diaper wrap on. If both have to go in the washer, too damned bad - the dog has to stay in his crate until they are cleaned and dried. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm not willing to put up with his lack of training for another three weeks. I think DH gets it now that I am not kidding and that he can choose between upsetting his mother or living with a wife who is pissed at him, and justifiably so. I think he understands that his mother emotionally manipulated him into keeping this dog for six weeks after both of his siblings put their foot down, and that six weeks is too long to ask anyone to care for their pet. When I put it to him that in the past year we have basically kept the dog for a total of three months, it hit him that we are being taken advantage of as essentially co-owners of this pet that we do not like and whom we did not ask for. I told him this is not about being unwilling to help family, but about reasonable limits. And this goes beyond any limits that a rational personal would consider reasonable.

I think you are handling it well. You can get through the next 3 weeks. And then never again...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

foist off on the children during their many trips and vacations

You could have always said, "no".

You're late to the conversation. I did say no, and DH gave in over my objections b/c it's his mother.

And to the other PP upthread, I am not paying for training for a 13 year old dog that I do not own. I highly doubt that training would accomplish anything for a dog of his age who has been allowed to behave the way that he does for so long. The simple solution is that I have made it clear to DH that the dog is no longer welcome in our house, and that his choice is whether he wants to have this conversation with his mother when she returns or whether he would like me to. It's that simple. I think we've managed what we can to survive the next three weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

That's the plan. I've been gone on business or personal travel for a good part of the first three weeks, so thankfully my contact has been limited until now. This weekend was warmer weather where we are, and I was home, so lots more activity going on outside and lots more of the dog going nuts.

I messaged DH from work this morning and asked him to find the old baby gates. Our house is open concept so I can't totally confine him to a non-carpeted space, but I can limit his run of the house. I also told him I will expect that he schedules the carpet/furniture cleaning for after the beast is gone.

I'm confused. So you've been gone for most of the past 3 weeks. Who has been watching this dog?

DH, mostly. Just because I have been on business travel does not mean no one has been home.

I got some baby gates and closed off the front room with the windows where the beast stands to bark. That and keeping the curtains closed has at least eliminated that problem. I told my DH and DS that all rooms are to remain closed (i.e. close the door behind you when you enter and exit a room) so the dog can't access them. That basically limits him to three rooms that are not easily closed off because of the design of our house. And that under no circumstances is the dog to be allowed inside the house without the diaper wrap on. If both have to go in the washer, too damned bad - the dog has to stay in his crate until they are cleaned and dried. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm not willing to put up with his lack of training for another three weeks. I think DH gets it now that I am not kidding and that he can choose between upsetting his mother or living with a wife who is pissed at him, and justifiably so. I think he understands that his mother emotionally manipulated him into keeping this dog for six weeks after both of his siblings put their foot down, and that six weeks is too long to ask anyone to care for their pet. When I put it to him that in the past year we have basically kept the dog for a total of three months, it hit him that we are being taken advantage of as essentially co-owners of this pet that we do not like and whom we did not ask for. I told him this is not about being unwilling to help family, but about reasonable limits. And this goes beyond any limits that a rational personal would consider reasonable.

I think you are handling it well. You can get through the next 3 weeks. And then never again...

Thank you - exactly. I can hear the objections now, thought - it would cost us $1,000 to board him!! To which I would respond that it is not my responsibility to figure out how to budget for or manage the care of their dog while they travel. IMO if they can afford to stay in FL for six weeks and pay for all of the other travel and home renovations and everything else, they can afford to budget for appropriate care for their pet too. My dog is well-trained and an angel and I would NEVER ask someone to keep her for six weeks. Honestly, I'm miffed that she even asked in the first place, and even more pissed at DH that he said yes over my (well-founded, by the current state of my house) objections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

That's the plan. I've been gone on business or personal travel for a good part of the first three weeks, so thankfully my contact has been limited until now. This weekend was warmer weather where we are, and I was home, so lots more activity going on outside and lots more of the dog going nuts.

I messaged DH from work this morning and asked him to find the old baby gates. Our house is open concept so I can't totally confine him to a non-carpeted space, but I can limit his run of the house. I also told him I will expect that he schedules the carpet/furniture cleaning for after the beast is gone.

I'm confused. So you've been gone for most of the past 3 weeks. Who has been watching this dog?

DH, mostly. Just because I have been on business travel does not mean no one has been home.

I got some baby gates and closed off the front room with the windows where the beast stands to bark. That and keeping the curtains closed has at least eliminated that problem. I told my DH and DS that all rooms are to remain closed (i.e. close the door behind you when you enter and exit a room) so the dog can't access them. That basically limits him to three rooms that are not easily closed off because of the design of our house. And that under no circumstances is the dog to be allowed inside the house without the diaper wrap on. If both have to go in the washer, too damned bad - the dog has to stay in his crate until they are cleaned and dried. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm not willing to put up with his lack of training for another three weeks. I think DH gets it now that I am not kidding and that he can choose between upsetting his mother or living with a wife who is pissed at him, and justifiably so. I think he understands that his mother emotionally manipulated him into keeping this dog for six weeks after both of his siblings put their foot down, and that six weeks is too long to ask anyone to care for their pet. When I put it to him that in the past year we have basically kept the dog for a total of three months, it hit him that we are being taken advantage of as essentially co-owners of this pet that we do not like and whom we did not ask for. I told him this is not about being unwilling to help family, but about reasonable limits. And this goes beyond any limits that a rational personal would consider reasonable.

I think you are handling it well. You can get through the next 3 weeks. And then never again...

Thank you - exactly. I can hear the objections now, thought - it would cost us $1,000 to board him!! To which I would respond that it is not my responsibility to figure out how to budget for or manage the care of their dog while they travel. IMO if they can afford to stay in FL for six weeks and pay for all of the other travel and home renovations and everything else, they can afford to budget for appropriate care for their pet too. My dog is well-trained and an angel and I would NEVER ask someone to keep her for six weeks. Honestly, I'm miffed that she even asked in the first place, and even more pissed at DH that he said yes over my (well-founded, by the current state of my house) objections.

Live and learn Op. It's good that you're putting an end to it finally!

[Anonymous]

Because I would be stewing over this for the next three weeks, I'd want to get the conversation out of the way as soon as possible.

I'd call your ILs and say this is the last time you will be watching the dog and you will be having the house cleaned when they return. In the meantime, he will be crated. If they don't want to board him next time, they can choose to use some of the remainder of their time in Florida to find another rental that allows pets.

[Anonymous]

A hard kick to the head---seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I would be stewing over this for the next three weeks, I'd want to get the conversation out of the way as soon as possible.

I'd call your ILs and say this is the last time you will be watching the dog and you will be having the house cleaned when they return. In the meantime, he will be crated. If they don't want to board him next time, they can choose to use some of the remainder of their time in Florida to find another rental that allows pets.

PP here again. You can even phrase it as, "I just want to give you a head's up so you have the opportunity to find a different rental..."

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

I haven't read through all of the replies, but this is what I would do:

For the remaining portion of this visit ...
1) Get a crate and a dog pen so the dog is contained (preferably in your basement or somewhere else that muffles sound). If your ILs don't refund you the money, just return them when you're done.
2) Get a bark collar. I suggest getting one that has a remote and also has a sensor for when you're away.
3) If you think there is still a risk of biting after the dog is contained in a pen, get a muzzle.
4) Check out Rover.com and find a petsitter who will take the dog when you need a break. The sitters there are a lot cheaper than boarding places.
5) After laying out the expenses with your husband, suggest he ask your parents for reimbursement.
6) No matter what, let the ILs know that the dog spent weeks in the pen because he was so destructive. Maybe they won't want to leave him with you after that.

For next time ...
1) Tell the ILs about Rover.com and say they should find a sitter who will take their dog, or suggest that they take the dog with them to FL.
2) Lay down the law with your husband -- the dog isn't staying there anymore. Tell him you'll be happy to help the ILs find a sitter (in case they aren't great with computers), but that you can't deal with the dog again. If need be, blame it on the neighbors. Say they're complaining and threatening to call animal control because of the barking.

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

If you want an easy excuse to say no next time, tell them your insurance wont' allow it. Our homeowner's won't allow any dog that has a bite history.

[Anonymous]

FYI to all the posters recommending the remote bark collar -- they are generally too large for this dog, so OP will have to special order one, if any are even available

Good job on making things better got the time being, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Board it today.

And pay for it how? I do not wish to pay for this upfront and then make a big dramatic scene of it with my in-laws over the phone. We said we would take the stupid dog - I told DH months ago when they asked that I did not want to, and he overrode me b/c he didn't want to make waves. I am willing to put up with it for three more weeks but I will not take the dog again after this. That is the issue with DH. He doesn't want me to tell his parents once they get home that the dog will no longer be welcome to stay with us. He sure as hell won't want to address this with them over the phone from hundreds of miles away. In all honesty, I'm not concerned about MIL getting upset with me. I know she will and I think that is her problem to deal with. I am concerned with this becoming a thing between DH and me. He refuses to address it with them and if I do, and MIL gets all passive-aggressive with him, it will be my fault. I do not think that is fair. I think HE should address this with his parents or at the very least back me up. But I know he won't.[/quote

Haven't you ever boarded a dog? You don't pay when you drop the dog off, you pay when you pick the dog up. So drop the damn doc off and let the in laws pay to get him out.

[Anonymous]

I love animals. However, I wouldn't pet sit a dog who pees everywhere and especially not for weeks at a time. They need to board the dog or vacation at a place that allows dogs. If your husband really wants to help his parents, he can go dog sit at their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI to all the posters recommending the remote bark collar -- they are generally too large for this dog, so OP will have to special order one, if any are even available

Good job on making things better got the time being, OP.

No, but one can get area "audible" alarms that require no collar.

http://store.petsafe.net/indoor-bark-control

I see OP is not actually looking for solutions, based on the fact she has shot down everyone who offered any help other than agreeing to confrontation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want an easy excuse to say no next time, tell them your insurance wont' allow it. Our homeowner's won't allow any dog that has a bite history.

OP here. Wow. I hadn't even THOUGHT of that. You are a genius and I love you, whoever you are. That's not even an excuse - that's a liability I don't want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI to all the posters recommending the remote bark collar -- they are generally too large for this dog, so OP will have to special order one, if any are even available

Good job on making things better got the time being, OP.

No, but one can get area "audible" alarms that require no collar.

http://store.petsafe.net/indoor-bark-control

I see OP is not actually looking for solutions, based on the fact she has shot down everyone who offered any help other than agreeing to confrontation.

OP here and really? I took a lot of advice and have actually contained the problem. My DH told he will be talking to his mom about this when they return to explain to them why we won't be keeping the dog again. Sounds like you are having a bad day/week/life or just poor reading comprehension. Hope it gets better for you.