IL's Dog

[Anonymous]

I'm usually all for compromising and doing what family needs of us, etc etc, but I would never tolerate the dog. Your husband needs to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They make muzzles in petite sizes -- no barking, no biting and if the ILs don't like it, they can find a new place for the dog. You can also get a crate with sides so he can't see out and bark at things. The are ways to get through this visit.

That's a good idea. I hadn't thought about the muzzle. I think I'll go get one today. It's better than me killing the dog, or dumping it in the woods, which are two thoughts that have crossed my mind. I am not paying $400 to board this little fucker for the next three weeks and I don't feel like arguing with the IL's over the money. I just have to survive the next three weeks and then take whatever comes, b/c I am putting my foot down. I cannot listen to that incessant noise for 21 more days, and I cannot have this dog in my house again. The amount I'll already have to pay for deep carpet/furniture cleaning probably equals what it would cost me to board him.

in laws should pay for carpet cleaning!

Op's in laws will say - "Well we sent the wraps along, why didn't you use them?" I would bet money that those people will not be paying for the carpet cleaning.

No, they won't. Or the $50 in diaper pads we've bought. Or the Xanax prescription I'm going to need to make it through three more weeks of incessant barking. It's like one minute, it's quiet and peaceful, I'm reading, whatever. The next minute BARK BARK BARK!!!! My BP hits the roof every time it happens. And he sets my dog off who is like, WTH?

I just looked at the muzzles and it says not to use them for a prolonged amount of time. I'm not kidding when I say the dog barks all day long. If you have experience with dog muzzles is there a certain type you'd recommend? I wouldn't know - I've never had a dog that misbehaved like this. I've always trained my dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the dog to a boarding situation. Call the ILs and tell them that Fluffy's destructive behavior is over the top, and she is no longer welcome in your home.

You should have said no a long time ago--after the first awful time.

No kidding. That's what I told DH - but he feels guilty telling them no, because everyone else has refused to take him. I told him it's for good reason and they are smarter than he is! He's boxed us into being the suckers and this is the last time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the dog to a boarding situation. Call the ILs and tell them that Fluffy's destructive behavior is over the top, and she is no longer welcome in your home.

You should have said no a long time ago--after the first awful time.

No kidding. That's what I told DH - but he feels guilty telling them no, because everyone else has refused to take him. I told him it's for good reason and they are smarter than he is! He's boxed us into being the suckers and this is the last time.

OP why aren't they flying with their dog? My parents are snow birds too but they would never leave their dogs somewhere for months. They would miss them too much.

[Anonymous]

Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

[Anonymous]

He BIT a kid? No way in hell that dog would be in my house. Period. Your husband needs to grow a spine like the rest of his siblings.

In the meantime, muzzle and crate. And never never never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the dog to a boarding situation. Call the ILs and tell them that Fluffy's destructive behavior is over the top, and she is no longer welcome in your home.

You should have said no a long time ago--after the first awful time.

No kidding. That's what I told DH - but he feels guilty telling them no, because everyone else has refused to take him. I told him it's for good reason and they are smarter than he is! He's boxed us into being the suckers and this is the last time.

OP why aren't they flying with their dog? My parents are snow birds too but they would never leave their dogs somewhere for months. They would miss them too much.

They drove. And chose a place that won't accept pets. They don't own - they are renting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

That's the plan. I've been gone on business or personal travel for a good part of the first three weeks, so thankfully my contact has been limited until now. This weekend was warmer weather where we are, and I was home, so lots more activity going on outside and lots more of the dog going nuts.

I messaged DH from work this morning and asked him to find the old baby gates. Our house is open concept so I can't totally confine him to a non-carpeted space, but I can limit his run of the house. I also told him I will expect that he schedules the carpet/furniture cleaning for after the beast is gone.

[Anonymous]

You said the dog is already old right?

Poisoned meat. End of issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the dog to a boarding situation. Call the ILs and tell them that Fluffy's destructive behavior is over the top, and she is no longer welcome in your home.

You should have said no a long time ago--after the first awful time.

No kidding. That's what I told DH - but he feels guilty telling them no, because everyone else has refused to take him. I told him it's for good reason and they are smarter than he is! He's boxed us into being the suckers and this is the last time.

OP why aren't they flying with their dog? My parents are snow birds too but they would never leave their dogs somewhere for months. They would miss them too much.

They drove. And chose a place that won't accept pets. They don't own - they are renting.

You can drive and take a small dog along with you. And you can choose pet friendly vacation rentals, especially when you have a small dog. Of course, this particular dog is a destructive nuisance so of course your in laws chose non pet friendly accommodations. Of course they did.

If this is the 6th time in a year that you have watched this dog and you are doing it for 6 week stretches, I've got news for you. This is your dog now and it is your responsibility. You can take it to the vet and see if the dog has OCD or some other medical issue that is making it such a handful. You shouldn't have to cage, blindfold and muzzle the dog to get some peace. Maybe the dog needs to be on meds? Ask the vet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

That's the plan. I've been gone on business or personal travel for a good part of the first three weeks, so thankfully my contact has been limited until now. This weekend was warmer weather where we are, and I was home, so lots more activity going on outside and lots more of the dog going nuts.

I messaged DH from work this morning and asked him to find the old baby gates. Our house is open concept so I can't totally confine him to a non-carpeted space, but I can limit his run of the house. I also told him I will expect that he schedules the carpet/furniture cleaning for after the beast is gone.

I'm confused. So you've been gone for most of the past 3 weeks. Who has been watching this dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Board it today.

And pay for it how? I do not wish to pay for this upfront and then make a big dramatic scene of it with my in-laws over the phone. We said we would take the stupid dog - I told DH months ago when they asked that I did not want to, and he overrode me b/c he didn't want to make waves. I am willing to put up with it for three more weeks but I will not take the dog again after this. That is the issue with DH. He doesn't want me to tell his parents once they get home that the dog will no longer be welcome to stay with us. He sure as hell won't want to address this with them over the phone from hundreds of miles away. In all honesty, I'm not concerned about MIL getting upset with me. I know she will and I think that is her problem to deal with. I am concerned with this becoming a thing between DH and me. He refuses to address it with them and if I do, and MIL gets all passive-aggressive with him, it will be my fault. I do not think that is fair. I think HE should address this with his parents or at the very least back me up. But I know he won't.

Tell him that if he doesn't do it, that you will, and he'll probably like the results of you doing it less than he will like the results of him doing it--but either way it's happening, and he's got three weeks to decide how.

As for him blaming the passive aggressive behavior on you, tell him straight up that no reasonable person would expect someone to keep their dog on such circumstances. Sure, MIL is cranky because she doesn't have free dog care anymore, but that's on her for being so unreasonable in the first place. Show him who's the person in his life that it matters more is made unhappy--that's you, not MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a place to keep him where there is no carpet and he can't see outside and has food, water and a bed. No barking, no muzzle. Put the muzzle on if he's barking a lot. Take it off at night or when you aren't in the house and won't be bothered by him.

I don't understand why OP gives the dog the run of the house if he's destructive and climbs in furniture. Turn part of your house into a boarding kennel.

That's the plan. I've been gone on business or personal travel for a good part of the first three weeks, so thankfully my contact has been limited until now. This weekend was warmer weather where we are, and I was home, so lots more activity going on outside and lots more of the dog going nuts.

I messaged DH from work this morning and asked him to find the old baby gates. Our house is open concept so I can't totally confine him to a non-carpeted space, but I can limit his run of the house. I also told him I will expect that he schedules the carpet/furniture cleaning for after the beast is gone.

I'm confused. So you've been gone for most of the past 3 weeks. Who has been watching this dog?

DH, mostly. Just because I have been on business travel does not mean no one has been home.

I got some baby gates and closed off the front room with the windows where the beast stands to bark. That and keeping the curtains closed has at least eliminated that problem. I told my DH and DS that all rooms are to remain closed (i.e. close the door behind you when you enter and exit a room) so the dog can't access them. That basically limits him to three rooms that are not easily closed off because of the design of our house. And that under no circumstances is the dog to be allowed inside the house without the diaper wrap on. If both have to go in the washer, too damned bad - the dog has to stay in his crate until they are cleaned and dried. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm not willing to put up with his lack of training for another three weeks. I think DH gets it now that I am not kidding and that he can choose between upsetting his mother or living with a wife who is pissed at him, and justifiably so. I think he understands that his mother emotionally manipulated him into keeping this dog for six weeks after both of his siblings put their foot down, and that six weeks is too long to ask anyone to care for their pet. When I put it to him that in the past year we have basically kept the dog for a total of three months, it hit him that we are being taken advantage of as essentially co-owners of this pet that we do not like and whom we did not ask for. I told him this is not about being unwilling to help family, but about reasonable limits. And this goes beyond any limits that a rational personal would consider reasonable.

[Anonymous]

A dog should be muzzled all day... They can over heat.

Get one of the remote bark trainers. If he starts to bark, it will emit an irritating sound. The only problem is that your dog will also be subjected and may not understand why he's being punished for doing nothing, I'd separate them as much as possible.

Don't give him free range. He will be fine in an ex pen or similar for a few days if he cannot be trusted, giving breaks outside to run of energy. A dog who cannot be trusted around the house should not have access to the house. It's the same principle with puppies and rescue dogs. He gets contained to an area he can't do damage until he proves himself trustworthy. Laundry room, bathroom, where ever it's easier for you to clean.

If you're going to be taking him six weeks at a time, it may be time to get him into a training class. Even at your cost, it's a way of establishing a pack relationship with the dog and may make life more pleasant. I know of many small dog owners who neglect treating their dogs like dogs because they're so small and cute. When we did training, level 1 was a mix of dogs. By the final level (6) it was all big dogs except for one.

[Anonymous]

foist off on the children during their many trips and vacations

You could have always said, "no".