For those with older only kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of one hover and then they hover any minimal grandkids they have too. And they always fight to have their one and only at every holiday and event in their lives. And then they hover over you because you are their never-had daughter. I married an only and it SUCKS! I came from a family of 4 and it is just so much different.

Apparently you didn't learn critical thinking skills in your family of origin. How unfortunate for you.

Not the PP but this makes no sense whatsoever. Are you saying they should use their critical thinking to tell their in-laws to not be around? To spend Christmas alone. I am married to an only child myself and this is a huge issue. Spoiling my 2 kids so over the top because they are the only grandkids. Telling me how to raise them, offended if we don't invite them to every little play, musical, soccer game etc... Not understanding that I have my family and want to see them without them 2 tagging along sometimes. It is a slippery slope. If there was just one more sibling with or without another grandkid would give my husband and I some breathing room. And the part about them aging (someone else mentioned) scares me a lot. It is a lot to take with no help.

Generalizing from an n of 1 suggests a lack of critical thinking skills. Posting reply to a query posed to those with older only kids when you don't fit that description yourself suggests something else.

[Anonymous]

Read "One and Only." Among other things, it debunks the stereotypes of only children.

IME, it's not possible to compare parent-child relationships based on number of siblings, because there are just so many other factors involved. All the onlies I know are very close to at least one parent.

[Anonymous]

Stop overthinking - you will drive yourself crazy.

There is no perfect situation. Ask any parent and you will get a laundry list of opinions and examples. Happy singletons, unhappy singletons, happy middle child, unhappy middle child, love growing up in big family or hated it, only children are leaders, only children are selfish, youngest child is sweetest, youngest child is baby. Love your mother, mother ruined my life, love my sister, I have nothing in common with my sister.....on and on

Take the situation you have now and make it the best it can be. STOP comparing your situation to others. It will NEVER be an apples to apple comparison and you will always convince yourself to lose.


When you start thinking the grass is greener on the other side or you regret what you have now, do what you can to talk yourself out of this damaging train of thought. I bet there are plenty of people who would trade places with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop overthinking - you will drive yourself crazy.

There is no perfect situation. Ask any parent and you will get a laundry list of opinions and examples. Happy singletons, unhappy singletons, happy middle child, unhappy middle child, love growing up in big family or hated it, only children are leaders, only children are selfish, youngest child is sweetest, youngest child is baby. Love your mother, mother ruined my life, love my sister, I have nothing in common with my sister.....on and on

Take the situation you have now and make it the best it can be. STOP comparing your situation to others. It will NEVER be an apples to apple comparison and you will always convince yourself to lose.


When you start thinking the grass is greener on the other side or you regret what you have now, do what you can to talk yourself out of this damaging train of thought. I bet there are plenty of people who would trade places with you.

+ 1. Well said, and applies to so many situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two, but I've noticed that many (but certainly not all) only children are into technology/social media earlier and more frequently than kids with siblings. It's just my observation, but they often have more access to devices and more alone free time

We have had the exact opposite experience. Ours is an only (in HS) and many of her friends are the "youngest of" in their families. They have all had access to technology, social media, more mature tv shows and movies long before she did.

True. The youngest gets access to everything earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop overthinking - you will drive yourself crazy.

There is no perfect situation. Ask any parent and you will get a laundry list of opinions and examples. Happy singletons, unhappy singletons, happy middle child, unhappy middle child, love growing up in big family or hated it, only children are leaders, only children are selfish, youngest child is sweetest, youngest child is baby. Love your mother, mother ruined my life, love my sister, I have nothing in common with my sister.....on and on

Take the situation you have now and make it the best it can be. STOP comparing your situation to others. It will NEVER be an apples to apple comparison and you will always convince yourself to lose.


When you start thinking the grass is greener on the other side or you regret what you have now, do what you can to talk yourself out of this damaging train of thought. I bet there are plenty of people who would trade places with you.

Could not agree more. Well said.