Anonymous wrote:OP - that's different. Personally, I think it's better to not have kids and regret not having them than to have kids and regret having them.
I think a lot of us have kids because we feel like we should, like it's something expected of us, especially women. We need to break free of that and only do things because we really want them, not because we might feel weird about not doing them.
Kids can bring a lot of joy, but they might actually bring more joy for you in a role other than mother. You could be the awesome aunt. (or pseudo aunt.) A lot of kids could use another person who isn't their parent to be a good adult sounding board. You could get involved with a youth organization. You could do a weekend foster program or tutor kids. That might make your life feel more full without the full-on 100% commitment that having your own kids would require.
this x1 million.
i am starting therapy to deal with the resentment i have over meeting this expectation of me. do i love my kids? absolutely. but holy hell, life is extremely difficult with them and my marriage has taken a huge hit as well. if you are ambivalent about having kids, DO NOT DO IT.
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