Son is quitting cello

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 10 yo is quitting cello. He's been taking lessons for 4 years and is really quite good. However, he's lately lost his love of the instrument; it's really hard to get him to practice and I'm broke. I've spent lots of hours driving and lots of money on lessons and I know this is not "wasted." He will have this in him forever. But I feel very sad that we are letting this go.

Let him take a breather and then encourage him to join the marching band (and take up a new instrument) when he hits middle school. It might be more fun in groups.

[Anonymous]

a bit off topic my mother in law was here for the holidays and kept telling us how we couldn't let our kid quit lessons. why not? her example was that she didn't let her daughter quit and look at her now (I really bit my toungue to not say, your daughter is unable to make decisions that aren't exactely the same as your own ,but I didnt)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a bit off topic my mother in law was here for the holidays and kept telling us how we couldn't let our kid quit lessons. why not? her example was that she didn't let her daughter quit and look at her now (I really bit my toungue to not say, your daughter is unable to make decisions that aren't exactely the same as your own ,but I didnt)

sorry- immediate pp here- my point is that why not let her quit music vs art vs anything else? is it critical that she loves and masters music above other doors that could open (not to mention the ability and empowerment and consequences that come with making her own decisions)?

[Anonymous]

He must be all about that bass (no cello).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I think music is a bit different in that EVERY adult I have ever talked to about this says " I wish I had not quit or I wish my parents had not let me quit." So, I think it is more that as a parent you are sad for the adult child who will regret this or will have never realized their full talent; they don't really appreciate what they are giving up. ( And by talent, I just mean their best ability- not public performing talent.)

Our goal is to just keep them playing through the rough patches but I so get the frustration, time and expense!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it happened naturally, which is good. Personally I quit both piano and clarinet when I was a kid around 11-12 years old. I don't regret it at all. I started becoming interested in other things like boys and became more serious about sports. It's not fun when you're being nagged to practice and it feels like a chore. There will be other things he is more enthusiastic about OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. It's a me + cello thing mostly. Most of their other activities, I can take or leave. I think it was that he loved it so much for a while and was REALLY good at it and it gave us both such pleasure. I'm sad to let that go.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He must be all about that bass (no cello).

It's more time to focus on math and math-related activities. Look on the positive side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He must be all about that bass (no cello).

It's more time to focus on math and math-related activities. Look on the positive side.

LOL, I don't think the person who responded to you is familiar with that hit song.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I think music is a bit different in that EVERY adult I have ever talked to about this says " I wish I had not quit or I wish my parents had not let me quit." So, I think it is more that as a parent you are sad for the adult child who will regret this or will have never realized their full talent; they don't really appreciate what they are giving up. ( And by talent, I just mean their best ability- not public performing talent.)

Our goal is to just keep them playing through the rough patches but I so get the frustration, time and expense!

I am probably the only adult who has actually regretted taking music lessons, lol.

My mom wanted me to take piano lessons because it was something she wanted to do in life. I dutifully did it, but realized I had no musical talent and it made me feel worse about myself in the long run because I could not master it. Finally, I was diagnosed with genetic-based hearing loss and said "ha, I told you I was tone deaf." Seriously, I really could not hear certain tones and it made playing music impossible to enjoy.

Let your child do something they are talented in and interested in.