Son is quitting cello

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I'm PP 11:01. I am sad/disappointed, not upset. She had/has a talent for music and it's ashamed for it to go to waste (at this time), the other part is selfish - I really enjoyed listening to her play. Like I mentioned, she was really good, but just lost the passion and the spark for it.

why do you think? Forced to practice too much? These are kids after all.

IDK. I definitely reinforced practicing every day as a habit from a young age. It was not an issue for many years- just a part of our day. Also, I have found with all my kids that if they don't practice consistently, they don't enjoy it because they don't improve and they keep having to go over the same things at their lessons. Mastery fosters enjoyment and practice leads to mastery.[/quote

but then it just becomes like work. Drudgery. Like I said, these are kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I'm PP 11:01. I am sad/disappointed, not upset. She had/has a talent for music and it's ashamed for it to go to waste (at this time), the other part is selfish - I really enjoyed listening to her play. Like I mentioned, she was really good, but just lost the passion and the spark for it.

why do you think? Forced to practice too much? These are kids after all.

PP here. I don't think I forced her to practice too much (only 30minutes 5x/wk). It was the lessons that would "interfere" with different activities she wanted to do, especially as she got older (she's 16), and although she was "good" she never really liked it much. From age 8-12 she practiced on her own, after that, always a battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I'm PP 11:01. I am sad/disappointed, not upset. She had/has a talent for music and it's ashamed for it to go to waste (at this time), the other part is selfish - I really enjoyed listening to her play. Like I mentioned, she was really good, but just lost the passion and the spark for it.

why do you think? Forced to practice too much? These are kids after all.

IDK. I definitely reinforced practicing every day as a habit from a young age. It was not an issue for many years- just a part of our day. Also, I have found with all my kids that if they don't practice consistently, they don't enjoy it because they don't improve and they keep having to go over the same things at their lessons. Mastery fosters enjoyment and practice leads to mastery.

NP here. Mastery is an important aspect of happiness, as is finding things you're passionate about and good at. Those interests are protective for kids as they go through adolescence and enter adulthood. So of course parents are sad when their kids decide to end their engagement with something they're talented in and have loved. Many of us had something like that - say, an instrument we were really good at - but we dropped it in early adulthood or earlier, and we know what a loss it was in the end.

All of which is to say I understand the OP's feelings.

[Anonymous]

Einstein quit the violin early in his life because he was forced to practice and din’t really enjoy it. But then he picked it up again later in life, a decision he made on his own without being forced to do it.

[Anonymous]

Don't despair OP! My son did the same thing at 10--but then took it up again in 8th grade, and now plays with his string ensemble in HS. Sometimes around this age they really just want to do what their friends are doing. But if you are lucky and there is an active orchestra at your school, they can have a place to take it up again. My DS is very shy and awkward in social settings (he has Aspbergers) but cello has helped him to come out of his shell. He shocked us recently by taking out his cello at a large family gathering and playing for everyone. Tears were shed by all.

[Anonymous]

^^the key for us though was that I never returned the cello. I kept renting it for 3 years even though he wasn't playing it. It was $$$ but I'm glad I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I'm PP 11:01. I am sad/disappointed, not upset. She had/has a talent for music and it's ashamed for it to go to waste (at this time), the other part is selfish - I really enjoyed listening to her play. Like I mentioned, she was really good, but just lost the passion and the spark for it.

why do you think? Forced to practice too much? These are kids after all.

IDK. I definitely reinforced practicing every day as a habit from a young age. It was not an issue for many years- just a part of our day. Also, I have found with all my kids that if they don't practice consistently, they don't enjoy it because they don't improve and they keep having to go over the same things at their lessons. Mastery fosters enjoyment and practice leads to mastery.[/quote

but then it just becomes like work. Drudgery. Like I said, these are kids.

I enjoy my work. I would enjoy it less if I weren't good at it.

[Anonymous]

OP, let him quit. Be glad your kid is able to let go of something he has no interest in. Knowing when to quit is equally important. (I never quit and wasted quite a bit of time that could've been used much more productively in the long run.)

Don't be sad, be glad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for your troubles.

My kids are younger- oldest is 8- but I can't imagine being this upset myself about something like this (I can't imagine having that much ownership over their activity that I'd be that upset). I don't mean this as a criticism, but I am curious, is that just the way I am or is it because my kids are little? For instance, the oldest has been dancing for 5 years now and I'd be bummed in some ways but not really...

I'm PP 11:01. I am sad/disappointed, not upset. She had/has a talent for music and it's ashamed for it to go to waste (at this time), the other part is selfish - I really enjoyed listening to her play. Like I mentioned, she was really good, but just lost the passion and the spark for it.

why do you think? Forced to practice too much? These are kids after all.

IDK. I definitely reinforced practicing every day as a habit from a young age. It was not an issue for many years- just a part of our day. Also, I have found with all my kids that if they don't practice consistently, they don't enjoy it because they don't improve and they keep having to go over the same things at their lessons. Mastery fosters enjoyment and practice leads to mastery.[/quote

but then it just becomes like work. Drudgery. Like I said, these are kids.

I enjoy my work. I would enjoy it less if I weren't good at it.

I presume you're an adult?
The thread is about 10 year olds.
Maybe part of the problem is you don't understand the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^the key for us though was that I never returned the cello. I kept renting it for 3 years even though he wasn't playing it. It was $$$ but I'm glad I did.

I'm surprised you didn't own it already. We are renting a cello for DD and we will own it after 28 mos. We're 1/2 way there! And we can up-size it for free even after we are done with our rental contract. She'll be in a 3/4th cello at the time the contract is over (assuming she stays with it next year -- although little bro will probably take it as well). When she is ready for a full size, we can trade it out.

[Anonymous]

Mine quit at 16. He was also good but didn't have a school orchestra and found the kids in AYP, who all knew each other already, unfriendly. Broke my heart because I am a pianist and enjoyed playing the cello/piano repertoire with him! He has enjoyed other music ensembles in high school (kids with a good background can usually sing or pick up new instruments pretty easily). Your son probably will, too. I am in an organization for adult amateur musicians. The world is full of people who return to their instruments later in life, so have hope. You gave him the foundation.

[Anonymous]

DD took violin and quit after a year. I fully supported her. Its an annoying instrument, both sound-wise and technically speaking. It constantly goes out of tune. I attended her class and 75 percent of the time was spent dealing with technical issues: instruments going out of tune, not enough resin on the bow, etc. She took up the guitar next. Stays in tune for days! She loves it. Great sound too.

[Anonymous]

I'm searching for a piano teacher for my son that will make it fun with limited "homework". He loves piano, plays everyday but he isn't committed to learning classical or better pieces and he wants it to be fun. I get the whole thing about he will like it better if he's good and I agree, but he won't like it at all if he doesn't play. It's quite hard to find a decent piano teacher for a decent piano player that doesn't want to practice things he doesn't like but I'm committed to finding my son one and I bet he plays piano the rest of his life.

[Anonymous]

Has he seen any of the Two Cellos videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3SBzmDxGk ? Makes me wish I could play the cello. Maybe they'll inspire him......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has he seen any of the Two Cellos videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3SBzmDxGk ? Makes me wish I could play the cello. Maybe they'll inspire him......

here's another good one of theirs - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfGggAGITwg ACDC's Highway to Hell. Awesome!