About to turn 50, want a newborn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here are some good reasons:
1. Child will have sibling
2. I may get my finances in order this year or next year
3 If #2 happens, better to have newborn at 50 instead of 53
4. I'm a great mom
5 I'm open to moving where it's cheaper/where I can get support
6 DC wants a sibling

Numbers 1 and 6 are not good reasons. Number 2 is questionable (may?). Number 3 the difference is negligible and not good either way. Number 4 is not something about which you are able to be objective. So yeah, these are not good reasons. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor adopted her first at 50. Her second at maybe 52 and her third soon thereafter. All newborns. You'd never guess her to be that old. Then again, she isnt single. But they are not high income. They make it work.

What kind of agency did they go through that allowed them to adopt newborns at 50? Most reputable domestic agencies will not allow this and for good reason. Must have been an international baby-buying operation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor adopted her first at 50. Her second at maybe 52 and her third soon thereafter. All newborns. You'd never guess her to be that old. Then again, she isnt single. But they are not high income. They make it work.

What kind of agency did they go through that allowed them to adopt newborns at 50? Most reputable domestic agencies will not allow this and for good reason. Must have been an international baby-buying operation.

With the exception of very special needs kids, I don't know of any international program that will allow anyone over 50 to adopt. Most have limits of 45. But nice ill-informed, gratuitous dig you got in there.

OP, maybe consider fostering if you just want to be around babies. And remember that you will continue to age. Maybe an infant at 50 is doable if you are an unusually healthy and energetic 50 year old. But what about high school graduation at 70? Odds would be decent that you could die before this child graduated from college. That's not the scenario I would want to create for my children.

[Anonymous]

I second the idea of taking a babysitter or nanny position. People are always looking for safe, secure people with experience with kids. If you are already working, you could offer evening or weekend care or backup care if your schedule is flexible.

Or certainly become foster parent. You may not ever get the newborn you want but I'm assuming you plan to love and care for a child at all ages anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor adopted her first at 50. Her second at maybe 52 and her third soon thereafter. All newborns. You'd never guess her to be that old. Then again, she isnt single. But they are not high income. They make it work.

What kind of agency did they go through that allowed them to adopt newborns at 50? Most reputable domestic agencies will not allow this and for good reason. Must have been an international baby-buying operation.

With the exception of very special needs kids, I don't know of any international program that will allow anyone over 50 to adopt. Most have limits of 45. But nice ill-informed, gratuitous dig you got in there.

OP, maybe consider fostering if you just want to be around babies. And remember that you will continue to age. Maybe an infant at 50 is doable if you are an unusually healthy and energetic 50 year old. But what about high school graduation at 70? Odds would be decent that you could die before this child graduated from college. That's not the scenario I would want to create for my children.

The pray tell which agencies are giving newborns to all the 50+ people claiming to have adopted them on this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I second the idea of taking a babysitter or nanny position. People are always looking for safe, secure people with experience with kids. If you are already working, you could offer evening or weekend care or backup care if your schedule is flexible.

Or certainly become foster parent. You may not ever get the newborn you want but I'm assuming you plan to love and care for a child at all ages anyway.

OP is trying too hard to justify a crazy idea. I wouldn't trust someone like that with my infant.

[Anonymous]

I say get a boyfriend (or girlfriend if you prefer). I wonder if you'd still want a child at your age if you had romantic love in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor adopted her first at 50. Her second at maybe 52 and her third soon thereafter. All newborns. You'd never guess her to be that old. Then again, she isnt single. But they are not high income. They make it work.

What kind of agency did they go through that allowed them to adopt newborns at 50? Most reputable domestic agencies will not allow this and for good reason. Must have been an international baby-buying operation.

With the exception of very special needs kids, I don't know of any international program that will allow anyone over 50 to adopt. Most have limits of 45. But nice ill-informed, gratuitous dig you got in there.

OP, maybe consider fostering if you just want to be around babies. And remember that you will continue to age. Maybe an infant at 50 is doable if you are an unusually healthy and energetic 50 year old. But what about high school graduation at 70? Odds would be decent that you could die before this child graduated from college. That's not the scenario I would want to create for my children.

The pray tell which agencies are giving newborns to all the 50+ people claiming to have adopted them on this thread?

It absolutely depends on the agency - I know someone who just adopted a newborn and the wife is 48 and the husband is early 50s. This was domestic adoption. International adoption would depend on the criteria of the country - and the adoption agency.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely consider fostering. Or maybe get a puppy? But the risks are really too high at 50. There are risks that may not even be visible that can appear as the child gets older. Please do some research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you know it's very unlikely you'll be able to get pregnant with your own eggs. Are you thinking of donor eggs or adoption?

I'm open to any route

Unless you've got a ton of money, this is a theoretical discussion. You're not going to get pregnant with just donor insemination, and no one is going to give you a newborn. It's a challenge to find some place that will let you adopt at 40, really really hard to find someplace that let's you adopt at 45, and forget about it at 50.

That leaves donor eggs or surrogates, which you can't afford. If you think you will find the money somewhere, then you're doing a gross disservice to the child you already have by jeopardizing any financial security you may have.

Adoption as a single parent at 50 is very hard. Some will make allowances if one parent is that age and one is younger. Big question is if you need to get your finances in order, can you afford child care.

[Anonymous]

International adoption likely won't get you a newborn. Anyone I know who has adopted internationally has come home with a toddler at the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor adopted her first at 50. Her second at maybe 52 and her third soon thereafter. All newborns. You'd never guess her to be that old. Then again, she isnt single. But they are not high income. They make it work.

What kind of agency did they go through that allowed them to adopt newborns at 50? Most reputable domestic agencies will not allow this and for good reason. Must have been an international baby-buying operation.

With the exception of very special needs kids, I don't know of any international program that will allow anyone over 50 to adopt. Most have limits of 45. But nice ill-informed, gratuitous dig you got in there.

OP, maybe consider fostering if you just want to be around babies. And remember that you will continue to age. Maybe an infant at 50 is doable if you are an unusually healthy and energetic 50 year old. But what about high school graduation at 70? Odds would be decent that you could die before this child graduated from college. That's not the scenario I would want to create for my children.

She would have to do domestic. If you are willing to pay enough and have no ethics, it is possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost 50. I have a newborn - A newborn grandson. OP, it's great to "want" a baby. In many women that desire doesn't ever really go away. It is the epitome of selfish to purposely have a baby once you are older. I know people here do it all the time. That doesn't make it any less selfish.

That is just dumb...
So all the women throughout time who have had a surprise baby in their 40's are just selfish. Do not be stupid

[Anonymous]

Do you actually want another child? Not just a newborn, but a toddler, a young child, a teenager? After our first, I wanted a second because my vision of our family in the future felt lonely just the three of us, it felt like someone was missing. Now that we have a second, as much as I would like a baby again, I don't feel like anyone is missing in the bigger sense so we're not going to have another. You may like babies and your child may want a sibling, but neither of those is a good reason to have another child. I wouldn't say this if your thread title said you wanted another baby, or you said you'd be open to adopting a toddler, you're fixated on the newborn instead.

And if you do go ahead and have a child, are you prepared for the possibility of another child with special needs? Do you have the resources to give two special needs children everything they need to thrive?

[Anonymous]

Maybe you're getting the grandmother itch. [An almost-50 lady here, so nothin' but respec' from me!]