How would I do on the dating market?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh, do you have a personality? Sense of humor? Varied interests and hobbies?

Your age, fitness, and education will get you a first date but who you are will determine how you do on the " dating market."

I used to have a fun and flirty personality. Once upon a time, I used to have a long line of guys interested in me. My current interests mostly revolve around my kids. I haven't stepped foot in a club since I had kids but I used to love to dance. Ivy league educated and successful in my career although a bit mommy tracked (my choice to cut down in hours). Not sure if that helps or hurts me. Not looking for anything serious, just some fun. I do not care about the guy's education or career. I'm a bit old fashioned though but would want the guy to be a gentleman.

I used to have ridiculously high standards and I may have married for all the wrong reasons. Ex DH is good looking, smart and successful. He is a snob and frankly a bit of an ass.

You sound a bit stuck on yourself.

"Ivy League" ended for you about 14 years ago. No one gives a shit besides you. You sound like the guy who played football in high school and is still talking about it at the 10 yer reunion.

Actually you just bolded the ivy league part and did not focus on the rest of what I wrote. If you read the rest of what I wrote on this thread, I said I don't care about the man's education or career and want someone fun to hang out with. I don't mention where I went to school to people when I meet them. I actually think where I went to school and what my ex does for a living hurt me because a normal average guy may think I am used to a certain level of lifestyle. I don't like to mention it in the real world. Several people keep bolding that ivy league part so it seems like I keep talking about that.

Welcome to DCUM. You will always get this sidetracking in your threads. Learn to ignore these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh, do you have a personality? Sense of humor? Varied interests and hobbies?

Your age, fitness, and education will get you a first date but who you are will determine how you do on the " dating market."

I used to have a fun and flirty personality. Once upon a time, I used to have a long line of guys interested in me. My current interests mostly revolve around my kids. I haven't stepped foot in a club since I had kids but I used to love to dance. Ivy league educated and successful in my career although a bit mommy tracked (my choice to cut down in hours). Not sure if that helps or hurts me. Not looking for anything serious, just some fun. I do not care about the guy's education or career. I'm a bit old fashioned though but would want the guy to be a gentleman.

I used to have ridiculously high standards and I may have married for all the wrong reasons. Ex DH is good looking, smart and successful. He is a snob and frankly a bit of an ass.

You sound a bit stuck on yourself.

"Ivy League" ended for you about 14 years ago. No one gives a shit besides you. You sound like the guy who played football in high school and is still talking about it at the 10 yer reunion.

Al Bundy?

[Anonymous]

GeeLove6942 wrote:If I went to an Ivy League school I certainly would want women to know that. Everyone is asking her for details about herself. Why would she leave that out? I think it's very attractive.

I hope that would not be all you have going for you.

[Anonymous]

GeeLove6942 wrote:If I went to an Ivy League school I certainly would want women to know that. Everyone is asking her for details about herself. Why would she leave that out? I think it's very attractive.

It is like advertising what posh neighborhood you live in, that you drive a Bentley, or the Country Club you frequent. It adds nothing to someone.

Asking someone what school they went to ranks up there with asking what they do for a living when you first meet them. Meaningless.

[Anonymous]

poorly.

you better adjust your expectations.

high quality guys your age will want to date 27 year olds without the baggage.

if you want to find fuck buddies that can fit into your schedule, then maybe you'll get some dick

but as far as relationship material with an in demand guy, you're toasted

i'm 38, i have kids, and i'd never, EVER have a "R"elationship with a divorced mother.

[Anonymous]

Wtf is a "R"elationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try online dating -- I think you'll be fine if you are not looking for husband #2. There are plenty of great guys out there that behave like gentleman and are smart and funny. They won't necessarily be as well educated or as successful as you. I also dumped a well-educated, successful man that was really an ass. Although I haven't met anyone that I could see marrying, I am meeting plenty of great guys and having fun. My kids are preteens and teens, so that makes it a little easier.

OP here. I don't want to put my picture up on an online dating website. I feel like no one is interested in me online since I have no picture. At the same time, I am only looking at profiles with pictures with no luck. I also am not the type to ask guys out on dates. It is like a circular reference.

Maybe you're not ready. Not posting a pic doesn't make any sense and you know it. Men are visual (you know this too). You don't have any hobbies outside of your kids and you're not ready to pursue any new ones. Sounds like a lot of excuses.

I'm not sure if you have children but they take up a lot of time. I have a very long list of activities I used to do before I had children. I can pretend like I still do them but that would not be entirely true. I am trained in classical music on piano, violin and flute. I enjoy concerts and theater. These days I watch movies on Netflix and mostly watch and listen to the news. I am a political junkie and work in business so I need to keep up with the market. I love water - tubing, jet skiing, parasailing, speedboats, sailboats, etc. Also was getting into snowboarding before I had kids. My favorite pastime is travel. I have been to ~40 different countries so far and have so many other places I would like to visit. I appreciate both culture and architecture.

I don't know if exercise is counted as a hobby but I do yoga, pilates, kickboxing and dance fitness.

I can paint myself well if I wanted but I would not want a guy who liked me because of my previous jet setting life. My current life is the kids, dinners out, maybe an occasional movie.

I probably wouldn't want to date me if I were a single guy. I am not insecure. I'm just old enough to know not to try being something I am not.

I would like an attractive divorced dad who can have fun, have casual sex but almost play soccer team acquaintances when the kids are around. I am not looking to become a stepmother nor do I want another dad for my kids. However, my kids are sweet and I wouldn't want someone who would hate when the kids were around.

I've been a single mom for 4 years now. People make time for what matters. I never called you insecure, fyi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would not want my professional colleagues or old friends to see me on an online dating website.

Why not?

If they are on an online dating site, they are doing the same thing. At 36, you should be over caring what other people think about. You're about to get divorced. Nobody will find it shocking that you are dating people from online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:36yo divorced mom with shared custody of 2 kids. Petite and slim (5'4" 120 lbs). Well educated. Enjoys travel.

well I have no idea if you're still reading this OP, but as with anything here on DCUM, the idiots always seem to chime in and derail/distract.

There are plenty of good guys out there who'd be interested in someone like you. As a single dad with good career and living what I consider to be a great life, the things I would care about are whether you have a good/healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex, whether your kids are thriving and well adjusted, whether you are emotionally in a good place (i.e., completely healed from the divorce) and are living a great life. Being in shape is important, but I wouldn't want to date a woman who spends every minute working out and obsesses over every bite of food. I'd want a woman who has her own interests - and hopefully they would be compatible with my own. I would hope that we would have similar views on important life and parenting issues - I could not care if we were on opposite sides of the political spectrum - though that could bring some fireworks into relationship!

If all you had was a good body but nothing else, yeah, sure you'd be nice to look at but I wouldn't date you. If we only chatted about typical BS stuff on a first date, there would be no second date. So think about the real things you bring to the table - and if truly are in a good place and living a great life, that will be part of your natural 'being' and it will attract the right guys, believe me.

~divorced dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:36yo divorced mom with shared custody of 2 kids. Petite and slim (5'4" 120 lbs). Well educated. Enjoys travel.

None of those things would be reason not to date you IMO.