DWs: Do you sometimes pretend to be less interested in sex than you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Unfortunately, I'm more interested in sex than my husband is, and he knows it. And takes advantage of me for that reason.

"Takes advantage" in what sense? Just going with broad gender stereotypes, when I hear a man is "taking advantage" of a woman, I tend to think "has sex with" -- but that's what you want, so that wouldn't make sense. When I hear a woman is "taking advantage" of a man, I tend to think she's having sex with him for material reasons. This could be what you mean, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm interested to hear how your husband is taking advantage of your increased interest in sex in a way that's negative.

I have to be nice 100% of the time for days beforehand, or no sex. I can't question any of his decisions, or discuss common issues with him, or I'm "talking back." I do 90% of the household running and 75% of the childcare, although I work 5 more hours a week and make just as much money.

Oh, jeeze, that sucks. Ever get the one where interactions seem to be going fairly well, so you try to initiate, only to get, "I was kind of sort of thinking about sex earlier in the day but then you did this one thing I kind of didn't like, so now I'm not in the mood"? That one makes me stabby.

Yes. And, "you waited too long and now I'm tired/into my tv show." He's also told me point blank that some nights sex is too much work. So I say, "No problem. I don't want sex with no foreplay anyway, so we'll wait until you feel you can make an effort."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Unfortunately, I'm more interested in sex than my husband is, and he knows it. And takes advantage of me for that reason.

"Takes advantage" in what sense? Just going with broad gender stereotypes, when I hear a man is "taking advantage" of a woman, I tend to think "has sex with" -- but that's what you want, so that wouldn't make sense. When I hear a woman is "taking advantage" of a man, I tend to think she's having sex with him for material reasons. This could be what you mean, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm interested to hear how your husband is taking advantage of your increased interest in sex in a way that's negative.

I have to be nice 100% of the time for days beforehand, or no sex. I can't question any of his decisions, or discuss common issues with him, or I'm "talking back." I do 90% of the household running and 75% of the childcare, although I work 5 more hours a week and make just as much money.

Oh, jeeze, that sucks. Ever get the one where interactions seem to be going fairly well, so you try to initiate, only to get, "I was kind of sort of thinking about sex earlier in the day but then you did this one thing I kind of didn't like, so now I'm not in the mood"? That one makes me stabby.

Yes. And, "you waited too long and now I'm tired/into my tv show." He's also told me point blank that some nights sex is too much work. So I say, "No problem. I don't want sex with no foreplay anyway, so we'll wait until you feel you can make an effort."

This is my life...I might have a 30 second window of opportunity. And I have to win a chess match just to get that window of opportunity. And I rarely know the rules of the chess match, because they are, shall we say, dynamic.