UCSD Shooting Suspect had autism -just what we need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And the fact that you are participating in IEP meetings makes me think you are a gatekeeper whose job it is to say no to accommodations. No wonder you hate us, we're trying to do whats best for our kids.

Any teacher of your child can be called on to participate in an IEP meeting. At most schools, we must take a turn doing 8-10 Annual Review or screening meetings a year. I end up doing many more than that because of the nature of what I teach and the special program at my school. I've actually only ever questioned two accommodations in a decade. A mom wanted to limit the use of the color red because her son found it disturbing. A different child's father wanted an extended time accommodation for the class warmups that meant no one could respond verbally to the warmup until his son finished. I couldn't take 15 class minutes for a warmup.

And I don't hate you. I think you have a huge challenge and helping you help your kid doesn't mean humoring you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS who has an ASD had his IQ double in several years. he didn't become a super genius, its just that his IQ had been artificially depressed because of his difficulty communicating. Same child, radically different IQ score. IQ means extremely little for a person with an ASD. On the one hand, its very, very difficult to get an accurate IQ from someone who has trouble interacting and communicating. On the other hand you have people with ASDs who legitimately have very high IQs but the ASD makes functioning, including academic functioning, difficult. I don't know what kind of professional you are but everything you write makes me hope you have nothing to do with my child.

+1000

If you can't accept that some kids with ASD are of average intelligence no matter what the parents think, then I hope I don't have to work with your kids either. I am too busy attending to students' needs to stroke parents' egos.

[Anonymous]

Funny. The one thing we never had any discussion about during IEP meetings is my kid's IQ (FSIQ 150+ on the WISC). I send over the neuropsych report but we don't talk about IQ since it hasn't been relevant so far: DS's IEP does not cover academics (and he is only in first grade) since his deficits are in other areas, social/communication, fine motor, etc. He has Asperger's.

PP sounds hostile and needs to find another job since she clearly does not like dealing with SN parents. Yes, SNs involves families like you implied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. The one thing we never had any discussion about during IEP meetings is my kid's IQ (FSIQ 150+ on the WISC). I send over the neuropsych report but we don't talk about IQ since it hasn't been relevant so far: DS's IEP does not cover academics (and he is only in first grade) since his deficits are in other areas, social/communication, fine motor, etc. He has Asperger's.

PP sounds hostile and needs to find another job since she clearly does not like dealing with SN parents. Yes, SNs involves families like you implied.

I love working with the parents. And teachers never bring up intelligence during the meetings (we say things like hard worker or very curious or undermotivated). It is always the parents who start proclaiming their child is a genius. A minority of parents, but yes, the parents. Because they feel that it compensates for everything else. And they just want to hear us say it. I can't when it isn't true. I do resent the time taken away from discussing strategies for your child's needs because I won't teach him or her next year and I want to send them off with the best IEP we can develop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's one takeway from this -- moms are still too often discounted, and they should not be

This perp's mother tried to get the police's attention. They should have taken her concerns much more seriously, unless there was a good reason not to.

Did the officers watch the videos that were posted online, which concerned the mother so much? Most people wouldn't take calling the cops about their own young adult kid lightly.

Newspaper reports say that they didn't even know about the videos, sadly. They thought he was a suicide risk, not a risk to others.

Having autism has nothing to do with suicide risk. That is a mental health issue and the mental health part should be the focus. Many non-autistic people have mental health issues and commit crimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. The one thing we never had any discussion about during IEP meetings is my kid's IQ (FSIQ 150+ on the WISC). I send over the neuropsych report but we don't talk about IQ since it hasn't been relevant so far: DS's IEP does not cover academics (and he is only in first grade) since his deficits are in other areas, social/communication, fine motor, etc. He has Asperger's.

PP sounds hostile and needs to find another job since she clearly does not like dealing with SN parents. Yes, SNs involves families like you implied.

I love working with the parents. And teachers never bring up intelligence during the meetings (we say things like hard worker or very curious or undermotivated). It is always the parents who start proclaiming their child is a genius. A minority of parents, but yes, the parents. Because they feel that it compensates for everything else. And they just want to hear us say it. I can't when it isn't true. I do resent the time taken away from discussing strategies for your child's needs because I won't teach him or her next year and I want to send them off with the best IEP we can develop.

Maybe you should try to be a little more compassionate. Most of the time these parents are not "bragging" but only trying to make themselves feel better and however much a time waster it may seem to you, it probably help them "deal". It's really tough hearing all the negatives about one's child without trying to have some hope (or grasping at straws): Being a SN parent, tougher than being a SN teacher.

So please, while you may vent about that mom who wanted to "ban the color red" - try to understand she is trying the best she can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's one takeway from this -- moms are still too often discounted, and they should not be

This perp's mother tried to get the police's attention. They should have taken her concerns much more seriously, unless there was a good reason not to.

Did the officers watch the videos that were posted online, which concerned the mother so much? Most people wouldn't take calling the cops about their own young adult kid lightly.

Newspaper reports say that they didn't even know about the videos, sadly. They thought he was a suicide risk, not a risk to others.

Having autism has nothing to do with suicide risk. That is a mental health issue and the mental health part should be the focus. Many non-autistic people have mental health issues and commit crimes.

The parents didn't communicate to the officers that they were afraid of their son hurting others. Police thought it was a call about the young man's welfare. The parents should have shown the videos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. The one thing we never had any discussion about during IEP meetings is my kid's IQ (FSIQ 150+ on the WISC). I send over the neuropsych report but we don't talk about IQ since it hasn't been relevant so far: DS's IEP does not cover academics (and he is only in first grade) since his deficits are in other areas, social/communication, fine motor, etc. He has Asperger's.

PP sounds hostile and needs to find another job since she clearly does not like dealing with SN parents. Yes, SNs involves families like you implied.

I love working with the parents. And teachers never bring up intelligence during the meetings (we say things like hard worker or very curious or undermotivated). It is always the parents who start proclaiming their child is a genius. A minority of parents, but yes, the parents. Because they feel that it compensates for everything else. And they just want to hear us say it. I can't when it isn't true. I do resent the time taken away from discussing strategies for your child's needs because I won't teach him or her next year and I want to send them off with the best IEP we can develop.

Maybe you should try to be a little more compassionate. Most of the time these parents are not "bragging" but only trying to make themselves feel better and however much a time waster it may seem to you, it probably help them "deal". It's really tough hearing all the negatives about one's child without trying to have some hope (or grasping at straws): Being a SN parent, tougher than being a SN teacher.

So please, while you may vent about that mom who wanted to "ban the color red" - try to understand she is trying the best she can.

I am very compassionate, but the IEP meetings are short. We're not there all day. I wish we could be! Just going through the IEP page by page usually takes a half an hour. Most of what I have to say about the student is usually incredibly positive, but I have to limit how much time I spend rehashing that (because I write positive emails and interim report comments all year long for each child with an IEP or 504) so that I have time to explain why I am recommending specific supports. In the typical IEP meeting, I may have 5 minutes to present my case for what worked and what didn't work (and why I think it didn't work). I show work samples and explain what they mean. I discuss what the next course will ask of their child and how he or she will get there. It's a disservice to the child to waste that time.

[Anonymous]

PP nothing you describes even comes close to your label "toxic." Toxic? How? What I hear is that some parents are going through the very natural process of latching on to what they perceive as their child's strengths in the face of frightening deficits. A totally normal thing for parents of kids with ASDs. As the kids get older the parents attitude to all this changes, generally. This happens as they accept the diagnosis and what it means completely, something that takes time. A little understanding on your part would be nice. This is nothing that even resembles parental toxicity. Not to mention parents of NT kids do the same thing, without any excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP nothing you describes even comes close to your label "toxic." Toxic? How? What I hear is that some parents are going through the very natural process of latching on to what they perceive as their child's strengths in the face of frightening deficits. A totally normal thing for parents of kids with ASDs. As the kids get older the parents attitude to all this changes, generally. This happens as they accept the diagnosis and what it means completely, something that takes time. A little understanding on your part would be nice. This is nothing that even resembles parental toxicity. Not to mention parents of NT kids do the same thing, without any excuse.

I'm not the PP who wrote toxic. In fact,I'm the PP who wrote that parents were not toxic, but paralyzed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean UCSB, right? Santa Barbara, not San Diego?

And to further clarify, he was not a UCSB student; he attended the local community college.

I read he was a UCSB student.

I think the issue with diagnosis is that many different disorders are just called autism early on. People later diagnosed with say schizophrenia often displayed some characteristics of ASD early on. ADHD kids also often have social skills issues. Too many different disorders are getting called ASD because they overlap in having social skills deficits.

Re: "esteemed Kennedy Krieger" article. Keep in mind the folks at Hopkins are VERY conservative about giving an ASD diagnosis and they would rather give 5 different diagnosis than say ASD unless it presents in a classic way. If Rodgers had been taken to Kennedy Krieger as a child I doubt he would have even gotten an ASD diagnosis, so that article would be irrelevant.

As they should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. The one thing we never had any discussion about during IEP meetings is my kid's IQ (FSIQ 150+ on the WISC). I send over the neuropsych report but we don't talk about IQ since it hasn't been relevant so far: DS's IEP does not cover academics (and he is only in first grade) since his deficits are in other areas, social/communication, fine motor, etc. He has Asperger's.

PP sounds hostile and needs to find another job since she clearly does not like dealing with SN parents. Yes, SNs involves families like you implied.

I love working with the parents. And teachers never bring up intelligence during the meetings (we say things like hard worker or very curious or undermotivated). It is always the parents who start proclaiming their child is a genius. A minority of parents, but yes, the parents. Because they feel that it compensates for everything else. And they just want to hear us say it. I can't when it isn't true. I do resent the time taken away from discussing strategies for your child's needs because I won't teach him or her next year and I want to send them off with the best IEP we can develop.

Maybe you should try to be a little more compassionate. Most of the time these parents are not "bragging" but only trying to make themselves feel better and however much a time waster it may seem to you, it probably help them "deal". It's really tough hearing all the negatives about one's child without trying to have some hope (or grasping at straws): Being a SN parent, tougher than being a SN teacher.

So please, while you may vent about that mom who wanted to "ban the color red" - try to understand she is trying the best she can.

I am very compassionate, but the IEP meetings are short. We're not there all day. I wish we could be! Just going through the IEP page by page usually takes a half an hour. Most of what I have to say about the student is usually incredibly positive, but I have to limit how much time I spend rehashing that (because I write positive emails and interim report comments all year long for each child with an IEP or 504) so that I have time to explain why I am recommending specific supports. In the typical IEP meeting, I may have 5 minutes to present my case for what worked and what didn't work (and why I think it didn't work). I show work samples and explain what they mean. I discuss what the next course will ask of their child and how he or she will get there. It's a disservice to the child to waste that time.

I didn't realize IEP meetings had time constraints. All the IEP meetings for my child had no time constraints and I was always under the impression that we could take as much time as necessary. I'm sorry that the parent contribution to the IEP meetings is seen as a "waste" of time at your school.

[Anonymous]

Go back and look at 09:29 when I respond to 00:06--the PP who said toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny. The one thing we never had any discussion about during IEP meetings is my kid's IQ (FSIQ 150+ on the WISC). I send over the neuropsych report but we don't talk about IQ since it hasn't been relevant so far: DS's IEP does not cover academics (and he is only in first grade) since his deficits are in other areas, social/communication, fine motor, etc. He has Asperger's.

PP sounds hostile and needs to find another job since she clearly does not like dealing with SN parents. Yes, SNs involves families like you implied.

I love working with the parents. And teachers never bring up intelligence during the meetings (we say things like hard worker or very curious or undermotivated). It is always the parents who start proclaiming their child is a genius. A minority of parents, but yes, the parents. Because they feel that it compensates for everything else. And they just want to hear us say it. I can't when it isn't true. I do resent the time taken away from discussing strategies for your child's needs because I won't teach him or her next year and I want to send them off with the best IEP we can develop.

Maybe you should try to be a little more compassionate. Most of the time these parents are not "bragging" but only trying to make themselves feel better and however much a time waster it may seem to you, it probably help them "deal". It's really tough hearing all the negatives about one's child without trying to have some hope (or grasping at straws): Being a SN parent, tougher than being a SN teacher.

So please, while you may vent about that mom who wanted to "ban the color red" - try to understand she is trying the best she can.

I am very compassionate, but the IEP meetings are short. We're not there all day. I wish we could be! Just going through the IEP page by page usually takes a half an hour. Most of what I have to say about the student is usually incredibly positive, but I have to limit how much time I spend rehashing that (because I write positive emails and interim report comments all year long for each child with an IEP or 504) so that I have time to explain why I am recommending specific supports. In the typical IEP meeting, I may have 5 minutes to present my case for what worked and what didn't work (and why I think it didn't work). I show work samples and explain what they mean. I discuss what the next course will ask of their child and how he or she will get there. It's a disservice to the child to waste that time.

I didn't realize IEP meetings had time constraints. All the IEP meetings for my child had no time constraints and I was always under the impression that we could take as much time as necessary. I'm sorry that the parent contribution to the IEP meetings is seen as a "waste" of time at your school.

The parents, school psychologist, case manager and head of special ed often stay longer, but the subject area teacher is either using his or her planning period for the meeting and needs to teach the next class or it's afterschool and he or she needs to leave (frequently to work another job because we aren't paid enough to make it on just our salary).

Most parent contributions are helpful. If you tell me how your child studies at home, whether he or she likes when we worked in cooperative groups (or if it caused more anxiety),etc.That is very helpful in how I look at what supports to recommend.Telling me that you think he is a genius, isn't helping me help your child. Especially when 10 minutes before you arrived, the IEP team viewed the results of the independent testing you paid for and it says that your child is of average intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Well, I have a child with an ASD and I have never, ever said to a teacher or anyone else that he's a genius. I've had teachers say that to me and I find it unhelpful. If anything it blinds them to his deficits and they expect things from him that are difficult to impossible.