Am I the only parent shocked by text messages and social media postings of Jr. High kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

Just a question- how old are your kids? Are you aware that most schools have computer labs by 4th grade? I'm guessing your snowflakes are younger and you're interjecting your opinion without life experience that applies not unlike a pregnant mom-to-be giving advice on night weaning.

Technology is part of our culture, so unless you're Amish (which I doubt since you're on DCUM) your kids will have to learn how to properly navigate social media. In my opinion, the posts referenced show bad judgement by the kids and poor choices by their parents regarding access to social media and failure to teach appropriate behavior. Anyone shocked by bad behavior of 7th graders doesn't watch the news or remember how kids acted when we were in MS.

But there is no reason a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't be using a computer. Hide your head in the sand if you want but technology will only be more pervasive, its not going away.

Why SHOULD a 9 or 10 year old use a computer? No added value, none at all. There are a thousand other skills which take precedence at this age. The computer is merely a tool, which can make other functions easier/more efficient -- it is NOT a good unto itself. Furthermore, it is easy to learn. None of us adults needed to take years of lessons, practicing from an early age, to learn how to google something, type up a word document, send an email, or play a video game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your middle school child? The minimum age to have an Instagram account is 13. That doesn't mean that kids aren't doing it anyway.

I know a 5th grader on instagram. Clearly the minimum ages have no impact.

The 4th graders in our near-Vienna elementary school are on Instagram.

How? Fourth graders don't need smartphones. Computer use takes place in a public room of our house, as experts recommend. We have parental controls on the iPad and computer. My kid's elementary school had better have Instagram blocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It starts because parents give smart phones WAY too early. If your kid has to have a phone, a flip phone is fine.

Yes, exactly.

We have a college girl renting a room in our house, and she does not have a smart phone. She has a laptop that her parents have loaded some extreme parental controls on. There is no NEED for a young person -- or any of us, for that matter -- to get involved with the "social" aspects of internet usage. And there is never a need for getting involved with internet trash, pornography, etc. Unless you have some strange child, they are going to explore these things unless YOU, the parent, prevent it from happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brown kids (they aren't snowflakes) are 5, 10, and 12. And not sure if you are the PP that mentioned that their 4th graders knew how to get around using Instagram but it is for ages 13 and up. No 4th or 5th grader is ever close to that. No elementary aged school should have iPhones or iTouches that give them unlimited internet and apps. THAT is what my response was about. No school computer labs. What kind of retort is that? My older kids barely use computer labs in school anyway. They don't own iPhones, my 12yr old had a pay-based phone and has a ipod shuffle that she can download music off of my iMac. She uses it for school sometime and that's it. She doesn't have the interest because she doesn't have the addiction. My 10yr old son rather play sports 24hrs a day. He doesn't even own an iPod or MP3. Just isn't his thing. Middle school kids have enough crap and insecurity to deal with. Adding social media is a recipe for disaster. And by looking at some of the responses here, I am certainly glad my 12yr old DD isn't on it.

So your kids use computers but you monitor their access- that's exactly what I was advocating. You posed the question "why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade?". It wasn't about unlimited access to social media or apps. When you change the parameters of the discussion, don't question my retort.

My comment was to the person who said 4th graders in Vienna are on Instagram. I doubt they are using that on their school computer so why bring it up? We have one computer in our study. It is 100% monitored. But go ahead and give portable devices for learning purposes. That isn't the way my family is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your middle school child? The minimum age to have an Instagram account is 13. That doesn't mean that kids aren't doing it anyway.

I know a 5th grader on instagram. Clearly the minimum ages have no impact.

The 4th graders in our near-Vienna elementary school are on Instagram.

How? Fourth graders don't need smartphones. Computer use takes place in a public room of our house, as experts recommend. We have parental controls on the iPad and computer. My kid's elementary school had better have Instagram blocked.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

Just a question- how old are your kids? Are you aware that most schools have computer labs by 4th grade? I'm guessing your snowflakes are younger and you're interjecting your opinion without life experience that applies not unlike a pregnant mom-to-be giving advice on night weaning.

Technology is part of our culture, so unless you're Amish (which I doubt since you're on DCUM) your kids will have to learn how to properly navigate social media. In my opinion, the posts referenced show bad judgement by the kids and poor choices by their parents regarding access to social media and failure to teach appropriate behavior. Anyone shocked by bad behavior of 7th graders doesn't watch the news or remember how kids acted when we were in MS.

But there is no reason a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't be using a computer. Hide your head in the sand if you want but technology will only be more pervasive, its not going away.

Why SHOULD a 9 or 10 year old use a computer? No added value, none at all. There are a thousand other skills which take precedence at this age. The computer is merely a tool, which can make other functions easier/more efficient -- it is NOT a good unto itself. Furthermore, it is easy to learn. None of us adults needed to take years of lessons, practicing from an early age, to learn how to google something, type up a word document, send an email, or play a video game.

BS - My kid was programming artwork and video games using scratch programming language for kids. Thousands of other kids were doing it too as they share there work on Scratch. It is all wonderful and creative stuff and I was really impressed with the programming skills of these kids. My kid also was doing slide shows and reports in MS Word by 5th grade. I think this is great and allowed me to slowly introduce the computer and talk about potential social media issues.

This kid is now in 6th grade and I have been monitoring text messages and instagram. I have only seen one kid flip off the camera in an instagram post, but most of it is fine. If I ever see a 'go kill yourself' or other bullying picture, I would absolutely step in big time.

BTW, did anyone see Shaq's bullying of a disabled man on instagram. It's not just kids doing bad things..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/29/shaquille-oneal-bullies-jahmel-binion_n_5233441.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

Just a question- how old are your kids? Are you aware that most schools have computer labs by 4th grade? I'm guessing your snowflakes are younger and you're interjecting your opinion without life experience that applies not unlike a pregnant mom-to-be giving advice on night weaning.

Technology is part of our culture, so unless you're Amish (which I doubt since you're on DCUM) your kids will have to learn how to properly navigate social media. In my opinion, the posts referenced show bad judgement by the kids and poor choices by their parents regarding access to social media and failure to teach appropriate behavior. Anyone shocked by bad behavior of 7th graders doesn't watch the news or remember how kids acted when we were in MS.

But there is no reason a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't be using a computer. Hide your head in the sand if you want but technology will only be more pervasive, its not going away.

Why SHOULD a 9 or 10 year old use a computer? No added value, none at all. There are a thousand other skills which take precedence at this age. The computer is merely a tool, which can make other functions easier/more efficient -- it is NOT a good unto itself. Furthermore, it is easy to learn. None of us adults needed to take years of lessons, practicing from an early age, to learn how to google something, type up a word document, send an email, or play a video game.

BS - My kid was programming artwork and video games using scratch programming language for kids. Thousands of other kids were doing it too as they share there work on Scratch. It is all wonderful and creative stuff and I was really impressed with the programming skills of these kids. My kid also was doing slide shows and reports in MS Word by 5th grade. I think this is great and allowed me to slowly introduce the computer and talk about potential social media issues.

This kid is now in 6th grade and I have been monitoring text messages and instagram. I have only seen one kid flip off the camera in an instagram post, but most of it is fine. If I ever see a 'go kill yourself' or other bullying picture, I would absolutely step in big time.

BTW, did anyone see Shaq's bullying of a disabled man on instagram. It's not just kids doing bad things..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/29/shaquille-oneal-bullies-jahmel-binion_n_5233441.html

How is your child allowed on Instagram. The rights and agreement when you sign up clearly states you must be 13 or older to have an account. You have to check the box. Do you teach him to lie to get computer access to things not age appropriate.

And if you think the worse thing on instagram is one person sticking their middle finger - you are oblivious. Most kids use snap chat for sexting and pics but many kids have 2-3 instagram accounts (parnt approved and non parent approved) and some use Poof to block what apps they are hiding from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

I have seen horrible "jokes"/references to incest (apparently so "funny" that the posts get reposted over and over, very crude sexual remarks about 12/13 year old girls, posts about other "tragic classmates" who should "just do everyone a favor & kill themselves", accusations of girls being sluts, homophobic slurs that get "liked" by all the kids.

I'm fairly liberal but these themes seem super ugly.

I've halted social media because I can't control what other kids post. Texting is still not great b/c these kids "group text".
Too bad the phone is so useful for communication (sports/bus, etc).

I just don't remember kids being this ugly/cruel.

I am 40 and yes, I think you are just forgetting what it was like at 12/13.

We used to have SLAM books (equivalent of a Burn book) n Jr High Catholic School and mean, nasty stuff was written in them and the book passed around for everyone to read. It was "anonymous" in the sense you didn't sign your name but you could easily figure who wrote what.

[Anonymous]

If you think every kid on instagram is 13, then I think you are oblivious.

You are right. I could be fooled. I get that. What should I do about things I can't see? I am not sure any parent has an answer to that one.

All I can do is communicate and teach. I expect my kids will make mistakes, but I try to teach them not to make big, life altering mistakes. I try to teach them about risk, so they can think for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think every kid on instagram is 13, then I think you are oblivious.

You are right. I could be fooled. I get that. What should I do about things I can't see? I am not sure any parent has an answer to that one.

All I can do is communicate and teach. I expect my kids will make mistakes, but I try to teach them not to make big, life altering mistakes. I try to teach them about risk, so they can think for themselves.

Who said anyone here thought there weren't underage kids on Instagram? Most kids sign up and don't tell their parents. Most kids don't know to set their settings to private. Most kids don't understand you can't unerase something you posted. Many parents don't even know what Instagram, Snap Chat, Kiki, Poof, Twitter, Whisper etc.... even are. Many give phones and never set the restrictions. That is not MY problem and it shouldn't be yours.

If you are a parent that caves to your underage child to do something because "everyone else does" makes you a friend and not a parent. Kids need a protector, not a buddy.

Social media apps are for ages 13 and over. If you condone it, you are teaching your child it is okay to break the rules and he/she is above them. Whether all or none of her friends are doing it shouldn't matter in the SLIGHTEST how you decide on things or raise your own child.

[Anonymous]

What's the diff if it's a school computer? The 4th graders I mentioned HAVE SMARTPHONES or iPod Touches. I agree they don't need them ... Of course they don't. But somehow they have them anyway.

Their parents clearly aren't monitoring them (as I monitor mine, who are for the record older) or they'd see all the infighting among these girls, the ones who have the word "niggas" in their profile (yes, of course, from black girls), the ones with "F***" this and that in their profile, etc.

Look at your kids' accounts, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the diff if it's a school computer? The 4th graders I mentioned HAVE SMARTPHONES or iPod Touches. I agree they don't need them ... Of course they don't. But somehow they have them anyway.

Their parents clearly aren't monitoring them (as I monitor mine, who are for the record older) or they'd see all the infighting among these girls, the ones who have the word "niggas" in their profile (yes, of course, from black girls), the ones with "F***" this and that in their profile, etc.

Look at your kids' accounts, people.

So they are older than 13? Otherwise you are no different than the parents you just bashed.

[Anonymous]

Fourteen/high school age is quite soon enough for the social media stuff, in my opinion.
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It starts because parents give smart phones WAY too early. If your kid has to have a phone, a flip phone is fine.

Yes, exactly.

We have a college girl renting a room in our house, and she does not have a smart phone. She has a laptop that her parents have loaded some extreme parental controls on. There is no NEED for a young person -- or any of us, for that matter -- to get involved with the "social" aspects of internet usage. And there is never a need for getting involved with internet trash, pornography, etc. Unless you have some strange child, they are going to explore these things unless YOU, the parent, prevent it from happening.

A college kid with extreme parental controls on her computer? Honestly, that's rather horrifying. Any parent who cannot trust their ADULT child to navigate the internet is a shit parent, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Laughing at the PP who mentioned school computer labs. If you think that's where/how this crap gets posted, you are kidding yourselves. It's the laptops and iphones that you bought your kids, not the computers in the school labs. You realize that if your kid has "computer" class in school they're doing little desktop printing assignments or programming assignments, right? Those computers are heavily locked down -- some have no internet access at all, others only have things like CNN, and others may have internet access but blocking anything and everything social media related so kids can't be tweeting, facebooking, snapchatting, and whatever else with the school's blessing. And btw -- those labs have teachers that walk around -- hard to be posting sexy pictures when Mrs. Smith appears behind your screen every 2 min. It's not like college computer labs where you can come and go and do what you please.