Am I the only parent shocked by text messages and social media postings of Jr. High kids?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm too old (at 40) or old fashioned..
Just reviewing my kids Instagram accounts and texts and I can't believe
What some kids say, post, etc. seriously- very mature statements, cruel comments,

Am I the only parent who monitors their kids phones/accounts?
There are some really disturbing themes from their peers/classmates.

Anyone else see this?

[Anonymous]

I also monitor my DDs accounts. It shocked me for awhile as well. Now, I try to have an open dialog with her about what others are posting. It is funny, however, when someone texts her something off color and she responds that we will often read them. The other kids notoriously write "sorry mr. and mrs such and such."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm too old (at 40) or old fashioned..
Just reviewing my kids Instagram accounts and texts and I can't believe
What some kids say, post, etc. seriously- very mature statements, cruel comments,

Am I the only parent who monitors their kids phones/accounts?
There are some really disturbing themes from their peers/classmates.

Anyone else see this?

What did you find that was shocking?

[Anonymous]

Op here.

I have seen horrible "jokes"/references to incest (apparently so "funny" that the posts get reposted over and over, very crude sexual remarks about 12/13 year old girls, posts about other "tragic classmates" who should "just do everyone a favor & kill themselves", accusations of girls being sluts, homophobic slurs that get "liked" by all the kids.

I'm fairly liberal but these themes seem super ugly.

I've halted social media because I can't control what other kids post. Texting is still not great b/c these kids "group text".
Too bad the phone is so useful for communication (sports/bus, etc).

I just don't remember kids being this ugly/cruel.

[Anonymous]

OP, how old is your middle school child? The minimum age to have an Instagram account is 13. That doesn't mean that kids aren't doing it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your middle school child? The minimum age to have an Instagram account is 13. That doesn't mean that kids aren't doing it anyway.

I know a 5th grader on instagram. Clearly the minimum ages have no impact.

[Anonymous]

They are uglier than we were because they don't have to say these things to peoples faces. It feels harmless to the sender because there is little sense of the person on the receiving end or the person being called tragic or fat.

I have a 7th grade and 10th grade DD and talk to them often about them being nice to others in person and online, to be on the lookout for others and to let me know if anything feels bad when they are online. I also have the right to check in on their texts emails etc. I do a sometime on the younger but haven't on the older in a while as she has been good about it to date.

There are stories in the news occasionally about middle schoolers sexting and sending naked or underwear pictures.

[Anonymous]

It's 2014, OP. The only shocking thing is that it took you this long to figure out that's how kids behave now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your middle school child? The minimum age to have an Instagram account is 13. That doesn't mean that kids aren't doing it anyway.

I know a 5th grader on instagram. Clearly the minimum ages have no impact.

Parents can and should enforce them. And you can report underage Instagram users also:

https://www.facebook.com/help/instagram/290666591035380/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's 2014, OP. The only shocking thing is that it took you this long to figure out that's how kids behave now.

If YOU don't find incest or suicide posts by 13 year olds shocking, then YOU
Should seek counseling.
It's parents like you, who don't intervene on these completely inappropriate
Behaviors who have the offending kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's 2014, OP. The only shocking thing is that it took you this long to figure out that's how kids behave now.

If YOU don't find incest or suicide posts by 13 year olds shocking, then YOU
Should seek counseling.
It's parents like you, who don't intervene on these completely inappropriate
Behaviors who have the offending kids.

I didn't say parents shouldn't intervene, I said there is nothing shocking about kids that age posting such things. The only kind of person who finds this shocking is someone who knows nothing about teenagers and nothing about the internet -- which is pretty damn irresponsible when you have a child that age.

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked that my high school students watch the things my husband and I like on TV-- Game of Thrones, Orange is the New Black, Breaking Bad, Dexter. We thoroughly enjoy(ed) all of those shows, but the idea of watching them with a 14-16 year old in the room?! Some of the topics and scenes just seem way too mature for that audience to me.

But as a teacher of mainly 9th graders, I would not be shocked in the slightest to see what your middle school children's friends are saying on social media. You would cringe if you heard what we as teachers hear daily. In the age of social media, filters are totally gone. And I teach at a "good" school....

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm shocked. I was poking around and couldn't believe what I saw from kids at the local middle school and high school. It was appalling, and not private in any way. Even though some kids were posting innocuous things they were friends with people posting about sex, drugs, cutting, etc. It's a whole new world out there with social media for tweens/teens.

[Anonymous]

My DD cancelled her facebook page in sophomore year high school. not sure why, and I am sure she doesn't have another, I monitor the cell phones.

The online options are very overwhelming even for someone from a technical field. Monitoring is very difficult but make sure you set expectations from the first facebook account to the first cell phone.

And many parents do NOT monitor accounts.

The worst online systems are the anonymous questions like Ask.fm, these can be horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD cancelled her facebook page in sophomore year high school. not sure why, and I am sure she doesn't have another, I monitor the cell phones.

The online options are very overwhelming even for someone from a technical field. Monitoring is very difficult but make sure you set expectations from the first facebook account to the first cell phone.

And many parents do NOT monitor accounts.

The worst online systems are the anonymous questions like Ask.fm, these can be horrible.

+100 Have banned this one for my teens. Not sure they need to join the crowd talking about who lost their virginity and where, who smokes weed or who tried to kill herself because of a break-up. Though it's certainly useful information (even allowing for some exaggeration) for parents. The problem is there's always another outlet popping up.