Am I the only parent shocked by text messages and social media postings of Jr. High kids?

[Anonymous]

Noticed this myself. I think it is due to the media they now watch. One of the top shows now is Game of Thrones, in which one of the main plot lines is incest and contains a lot of graphic material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's 2014, OP. The only shocking thing is that it took you this long to figure out that's how kids behave now.

If YOU don't find incest or suicide posts by 13 year olds shocking, then YOU
Should seek counseling.
It's parents like you, who don't intervene on these completely inappropriate
Behaviors who have the offending kids.

Hear, hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your middle school child? The minimum age to have an Instagram account is 13. That doesn't mean that kids aren't doing it anyway.

I know a 5th grader on instagram. Clearly the minimum ages have no impact.

The 4th graders in our near-Vienna elementary school are on Instagram.

That is so sad. Really sad

But, it's true. I did not even know my kids had an Instagram account in 5th grade. They are so tech saavy. And, it's not what they post but the posts from others that are alarming. and, the girls who post those "hoochie" pictures of themselves. I try to keep tabs on my kids and keep them close but it is impossible to know what they are doing at all times no matter how much we police. I try to keep them as busy as much as possible.

Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw 4 kids from my daughter's middle school grade skipping class and posting an Instagram picture about it (outside with middle fingers up - classy!). Anyway, my daughter is not friends with them but I know 2 of the moms pretty well from elementary school. Almost want to say something because they seem like good but clueless parents. I just think somehow it will come back to haunt my daughter. If the moms say who told them.

I would want to know if my daughter was skipping school.

Yeah, but I think we had a thread about this a while back. Take anything I say with a grain of salt, because apparently I am a too-naive parent of elementary school kids. There was a thread about drugs, and perhaps drug dealing, and the vast majority of the responses were MYOB and oh no, if you tell the other parent, your kid will be shunned at school and he will never tell you anything again. In his life. Ever.

I would love to see the other responses you get, because it surprises me how much MYOB gets thrown around here.

While I admire your impulse to try to do the right thing, the reality is almost any "right thing" you attempt to do involving telling on someone, will have bitter consequences for your child. Many of us found this out the hard way.

I shudder at the electronic corruption of children, personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Noticed this myself. I think it is due to the media they now watch. One of the top shows now is Game of Thrones, in which one of the main plot lines is incest and contains a lot of graphic material.

Yes, but any JR high kids whose parents let them watch Game of Thrones have more serious problems. I'm a huge fan, but that show has moments that should be X-rated. Any parent who would let a kid younger than 17 watch that stuff needs to have their head examined -- and some 17 year olds aren't even ready for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Noticed this myself. I think it is due to the media they now watch. One of the top shows now is Game of Thrones, in which one of the main plot lines is incest and contains a lot of graphic material.

Yes, but any JR high kids whose parents let them watch Game of Thrones have more serious problems. I'm a huge fan, but that show has moments that should be X-rated. Any parent who would let a kid younger than 17 watch that stuff needs to have their head examined -- and some 17 year olds aren't even ready for it.

I don't watch the show nor do I allow my kids to but giving your child an iPhone and not using all the restrictions allows kids to watch these shows. Not having a password on your Cable box for rated R and above content and having teens at home alone allows it. Having a computer in their room pretty much allows anything. Most parents I know don't restrict any of these and look at me like a helicopter mom when I say we do. I think it is much easier than you think even if the parents aren't condoning it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Noticed this myself. I think it is due to the media they now watch. One of the top shows now is Game of Thrones, in which one of the main plot lines is incest and contains a lot of graphic material.

Yes, but any JR high kids whose parents let them watch Game of Thrones have more serious problems. I'm a huge fan, but that show has moments that should be X-rated. Any parent who would let a kid younger than 17 watch that stuff needs to have their head examined -- and some 17 year olds aren't even ready for it.

I don't watch the show nor do I allow my kids to but giving your child an iPhone and not using all the restrictions allows kids to watch these shows. Not having a password on your Cable box for rated R and above content and having teens at home alone allows it. Having a computer in their room pretty much allows anything. Most parents I know don't restrict any of these and look at me like a helicopter mom when I say we do. I think it is much easier than you think even if the parents aren't condoning it.

+1000 Had to get rid of HBO, etc. due to graphic adult content which is OK for adults but not for innocent tweens/teens. Unfortunately, many parents have these channels in their homes and their kids watch and talk about the shows to their friends. There is no way on earth that kids under 17 should be watching that stuff. It is too explicit for some adults...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw 4 kids from my daughter's middle school grade skipping class and posting an Instagram picture about it (outside with middle fingers up - classy!). Anyway, my daughter is not friends with them but I know 2 of the moms pretty well from elementary school. Almost want to say something because they seem like good but clueless parents. I just think somehow it will come back to haunt my daughter. If the moms say who told them.

Well, if the parents are crappy/stupid enough to say "Larla's mom told me," it will. But I would hope parents wouldn't be that stupid or spiteful. I'd want to know but then again, my kid will probably be the last of his friends to have a phone/Facebook, or a computer in his own room. I'll be monitoring the crap out of him when the time comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Noticed this myself. I think it is due to the media they now watch. One of the top shows now is Game of Thrones, in which one of the main plot lines is incest and contains a lot of graphic material.

Yes, but any JR high kids whose parents let them watch Game of Thrones have more serious problems. I'm a huge fan, but that show has moments that should be X-rated. Any parent who would let a kid younger than 17 watch that stuff needs to have their head examined -- and some 17 year olds aren't even ready for it.

I don't watch the show nor do I allow my kids to but giving your child an iPhone and not using all the restrictions allows kids to watch these shows. Not having a password on your Cable box for rated R and above content and having teens at home alone allows it. Having a computer in their room pretty much allows anything. Most parents I know don't restrict any of these and look at me like a helicopter mom when I say we do. I think it is much easier than you think even if the parents aren't condoning it.

+1000 Had to get rid of HBO, etc. due to graphic adult content which is OK for adults but not for innocent tweens/teens. Unfortunately, many parents have these channels in their homes and their kids watch and talk about the shows to their friends. There is no way on earth that kids under 17 should be watching that stuff. It is too explicit for some adults...

Comcast has a 4 digit pass code and you set the code and what levels of movies and tv. My guess is it would be hard with multiple kids but right now I have a 5yr old (who doesn't know how to use the remote) and a 14yr old. You can even set it for situations. So I allow PG 13 with violence but not sexual situations. It shows if and how many times the code was tried too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Noticed this myself. I think it is due to the media they now watch. One of the top shows now is Game of Thrones, in which one of the main plot lines is incest and contains a lot of graphic material.

Yes, but any JR high kids whose parents let them watch Game of Thrones have more serious problems. I'm a huge fan, but that show has moments that should be X-rated. Any parent who would let a kid younger than 17 watch that stuff needs to have their head examined -- and some 17 year olds aren't even ready for it.

I don't watch the show nor do I allow my kids to but giving your child an iPhone and not using all the restrictions allows kids to watch these shows. Not having a password on your Cable box for rated R and above content and having teens at home alone allows it. Having a computer in their room pretty much allows anything. Most parents I know don't restrict any of these and look at me like a helicopter mom when I say we do. I think it is much easier than you think even if the parents aren't condoning it.

+1000 Had to get rid of HBO, etc. due to graphic adult content which is OK for adults but not for innocent tweens/teens. Unfortunately, many parents have these channels in their homes and their kids watch and talk about the shows to their friends. There is no way on earth that kids under 17 should be watching that stuff. It is too explicit for some adults...

Comcast has a 4 digit pass code and you set the code and what levels of movies and tv. My guess is it would be hard with multiple kids but right now I have a 5yr old (who doesn't know how to use the remote) and a 14yr old. You can even set it for situations. So I allow PG 13 with violence but not sexual situations. It shows if and how many times the code was tried too.

Love this! DS "locked" his ipad a few years ago while we were all on vacation and he was trying to guess the password one evening after dinner. Loooong rest of vacation for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

Just a question- how old are your kids? Are you aware that most schools have computer labs by 4th grade? I'm guessing your snowflakes are younger and you're interjecting your opinion without life experience that applies not unlike a pregnant mom-to-be giving advice on night weaning.

Technology is part of our culture, so unless you're Amish (which I doubt since you're on DCUM) your kids will have to learn how to properly navigate social media. In my opinion, the posts referenced show bad judgement by the kids and poor choices by their parents regarding access to social media and failure to teach appropriate behavior. Anyone shocked by bad behavior of 7th graders doesn't watch the news or remember how kids acted when we were in MS.

But there is no reason a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't be using a computer. Hide your head in the sand if you want but technology will only be more pervasive, its not going away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

Just a question- how old are your kids? Are you aware that most schools have computer labs by 4th grade? I'm guessing your snowflakes are younger and you're interjecting your opinion without life experience that applies not unlike a pregnant mom-to-be giving advice on night weaning.

Technology is part of our culture, so unless you're Amish (which I doubt since you're on DCUM) your kids will have to learn how to properly navigate social media. In my opinion, the posts referenced show bad judgement by the kids and poor choices by their parents regarding access to social media and failure to teach appropriate behavior. Anyone shocked by bad behavior of 7th graders doesn't watch the news or remember how kids acted when we were in MS.

But there is no reason a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't be using a computer. Hide your head in the sand if you want but technology will only be more pervasive, its not going away.

As a parent of a 5th grader, I have to disagree with you. Lots of things in life are "not going away," but it doesn't mean that elementary kids are ready to be exposed to them. At my kid's school, they have minimal free time on computers. And at home, their time is monitored by us parents. Obviously we'll change as our child gets older, and he'll get the chance to "properly navigate social media" when he's old enough. Right now I'm prioritizing his opportunities to "properly navigate" face-to-face interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade. If they are THAT tech savvy now, when did you introduce them? No one to blame but yourself.

Just a question- how old are your kids? Are you aware that most schools have computer labs by 4th grade? I'm guessing your snowflakes are younger and you're interjecting your opinion without life experience that applies not unlike a pregnant mom-to-be giving advice on night weaning.

Technology is part of our culture, so unless you're Amish (which I doubt since you're on DCUM) your kids will have to learn how to properly navigate social media. In my opinion, the posts referenced show bad judgement by the kids and poor choices by their parents regarding access to social media and failure to teach appropriate behavior. Anyone shocked by bad behavior of 7th graders doesn't watch the news or remember how kids acted when we were in MS.

But there is no reason a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't be using a computer. Hide your head in the sand if you want but technology will only be more pervasive, its not going away.

My brown kids (they aren't snowflakes) are 5, 10, and 12. And not sure if you are the PP that mentioned that their 4th graders knew how to get around using Instagram but it is for ages 13 and up. No 4th or 5th grader is ever close to that. No elementary aged school should have iPhones or iTouches that give them unlimited internet and apps. THAT is what my response was about. No school computer labs. What kind of retort is that? My older kids barely use computer labs in school anyway. They don't own iPhones, my 12yr old had a pay-based phone and has a ipod shuffle that she can download music off of my iMac. She uses it for school sometime and that's it. She doesn't have the interest because she doesn't have the addiction. My 10yr old son rather play sports 24hrs a day. He doesn't even own an iPod or MP3. Just isn't his thing. Middle school kids have enough crap and insecurity to deal with. Adding social media is a recipe for disaster. And by looking at some of the responses here, I am certainly glad my 12yr old DD isn't on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brown kids (they aren't snowflakes) are 5, 10, and 12. And not sure if you are the PP that mentioned that their 4th graders knew how to get around using Instagram but it is for ages 13 and up. No 4th or 5th grader is ever close to that. No elementary aged school should have iPhones or iTouches that give them unlimited internet and apps. THAT is what my response was about. No school computer labs. What kind of retort is that? My older kids barely use computer labs in school anyway. They don't own iPhones, my 12yr old had a pay-based phone and has a ipod shuffle that she can download music off of my iMac. She uses it for school sometime and that's it. She doesn't have the interest because she doesn't have the addiction. My 10yr old son rather play sports 24hrs a day. He doesn't even own an iPod or MP3. Just isn't his thing. Middle school kids have enough crap and insecurity to deal with. Adding social media is a recipe for disaster. And by looking at some of the responses here, I am certainly glad my 12yr old DD isn't on it.

So your kids use computers but you monitor their access- that's exactly what I was advocating. You posed the question "why do your kids have computer access and iPhones in 4th grade?". It wasn't about unlimited access to social media or apps. When you change the parameters of the discussion, don't question my retort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many parents are clueless and/or don't have the guts to monitor their own kids social media accounts.

Hello parents. You don't need a password. Just search for your kids name. You will be shocked.

How can you possibly know every one of your child's accounts? You don't think they have secret accounts that you don't know about?

This is easy. My kids don't have phones and never use the computer alone at home. Period. We don't own any other devices, either. My kids will not be allowed to own electronic devices until they are 17, can prove their maturity, and can pay for it entirely themselves. Even then, as long as they live at home, it will be monitored. If they want privacy they are free to keep a written journal. This works in our home, as our lives are fairly low-tech and do not in any way revolve around electronic/internet devices.

What I am shocked by is parents who take the easy way out, or think that their kids "must" have something merely because the kid wants it or just because "all the other kids" have it. If you think your kid must have a phone with them, get them a phone that does not take photos, does not allow text and does not have internet access.

Most of the parents here on DCUM did not have smartphones as young teenagers; many of us here didn't even have home internet when we were young. Your kids and your family can survive without it, honest.