Black moms and hitting

[Anonymous]

One thought: DC has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the nation, in its poorest neighborhoods (ward 7, 8), which are something like 99 percent AA. Teen pregnancy is often the result of abuse, lack of support, lack of strong parenting, poverty, lack of options, but it also produces, among other things, a high risk for child abuse because teen mothers with few resources (including a partner in parenting) quite often lack the financial, emotional and psychological support, strength and maturity to deal with the demands of child rearing in a positive, proactive way. They've not experience positive parenting themselves, and they are in a negative situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, as a white mom my kids know this is abuse. They are taught hitting another person is wrong. If you hit you are out of control.

Really?

As an Asian mom I spank my kids when I think it's needed. My kids know this is serious. They are taught to not be disrespectful to their parents. If you do, you are out of control. No, they are NOT toddlers as was the case OP was referring to.

I'm asian, i would never ever ever ever ever spank my children even though i was.

I have a 7, 10, 12 year age gap with my siblings and I was pretty much the only one spanked even though i was the best behaved. It is definitely a generational/age thing.

Are you an immigrant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thought: DC has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the nation, in its poorest neighborhoods (ward 7, 8), which are something like 99 percent AA. Teen pregnancy is often the result of abuse, lack of support, lack of strong parenting, poverty, lack of options, but it also produces, among other things, a high risk for child abuse because teen mothers with few resources (including a partner in parenting) quite often lack the financial, emotional and psychological support, strength and maturity to deal with the demands of child rearing in a positive, proactive way. They've not experience positive parenting themselves, and they are in a negative situation.

I'm sure it's just a coincedence, but DC seems to have the worst child abuse to. At least out in public. There's zero fear of arrest for this kind of child abuse in DC.

[Anonymous]

I suggest you read "The Corner" by Ed Burns, the same writer who did "The Wire" which white folks are so fond of. He talks a lot about this phenomenon, which is called "primping" in the black community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughters school I see a lot of very sweet white women get shoved, hit, and yelled at and yanked by their (I assume) kids. It's rough rough behavior where ladies are getting hurt. By like four and five year olds, and up from there. They are often very upset over what seems to be stuff moms do--like telling them to tie a shoe or get a backpack. I often am so horrified I want to say something, but I have been biting my tongue. Is this a white thing? I live in a middle income neighborhood. I am not trying to get racist here but I don't feel comfortable asking anyone I know who might have insight about these situations.

I couldn't resist.
See how easy that is?

You should have resisted. Parody is not your strong suit.

+1. Not sure why anyone would "love this."

[Anonymous]

White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.

As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.

Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.

No one said all poor people treat their children badly. All that was said that poor people are prone to a lot of stress. People under severe stress lose coping mechanisms or never even learn them--eg: teen moms; moms from abusive homes; moms on drugs; moms facing homelessness. If you can't understand this, then you are the one who is ignorant.

Why are so many rich people abusive towards their domestic workers? Behind closed doors.

Citation, please.

Extensive first hand observation. No, I will not post for you the names nor addresses of households where I have observed this common occurance. So sorry. The fact remains, abusers are both rich and poor. You may check with any domestic violence unit, even in your own enclave.

Hence, my "why do rich people abuse their domestic workers" question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

Clearly higher SES individuals spank less than lower status families. I know very few people that spank their kids, and the data bear this out:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090924_spanking.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759998/

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP36.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

Clearly higher SES individuals spank less than lower status families. I know very few people that spank their kids, and the data bear this out:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090924_spanking.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759998/

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP36.pdf

Of course. They're too busy abusing their household staff. No data to ever scientifically prove it. But some of us witness plenty of it. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

Clearly higher SES individuals spank less than lower status families. I know very few people that spank their kids, and the data bear this out:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090924_spanking.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759998/

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP36.pdf

Of course. They're too busy abusing their household staff. No data to ever scientifically prove it. But some of us witness plenty of it. Sad.

Behind closed doors...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

Clearly higher SES individuals spank less than lower status families. I know very few people that spank their kids, and the data bear this out:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090924_spanking.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759998/

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP36.pdf

Sorry but these are self-reported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

Clearly higher SES individuals spank less than lower status families. I know very few people that spank their kids, and the data bear this out:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090924_spanking.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759998/

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP36.pdf

Sorry but these are self-reported.

(FYI. I am an anti-spanking, as in it should be outlawed. But as I posted above the studies rely on self-reporting, which I think is unreliable.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.

This hypothesis is true for a lot of things. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, as a white mom my kids know this is abuse. They are taught hitting another person is wrong. If you hit you are out of control.

Really?

As an Asian mom I spank my kids when I think it's needed. My kids know this is serious. They are taught to not be disrespectful to their parents. If you do, you are out of control. No, they are NOT toddlers as was the case OP was referring to.

I'm asian, i would never ever ever ever ever spank my children even though i was.

I have a 7, 10, 12 year age gap with my siblings and I was pretty much the only one spanked even though i was the best behaved. It is definitely a generational/age thing.

Are you an immigrant?

PP, I think in your case you were traumatized by the fact that you were the only one spanked in your family. However, with that large age gap, are you sure your older siblings didn't get spanked when they were very young and you were not even born? Are your kids toddler age or ES? That makes a difference on your viewpoint. I didn't spank my kids when they young toddlers.

I am an immigrant, but came here at 1, so essentially I was brought up here. My siblings and I were all spanked growing up, some more than others depending on the behaviour. But I know plenty of non-immigrants that spank their kids, too. I know white women who do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.

Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.

Before y'all make too many generaiizations, I went to parochial school and you should have seen some of the nuns back in the day.

+1