Don't eat that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, part of my parenting philosophy is that parents sacrifice for their kids. So if there's not enough dinner to go around, I'd feed the kids first, & expect my husband & I to eat something else. Likewise, if it's chilly outside, I'll give my kid my hoody & let myself be cold.

It might be an issue of disrespect, but it also might be a difference in how you & your wife view the responsibilities of parenting.

But the kids are teens. And it wasn't healthy food, it was apple pie.

OP, I think you should have a serious conversation with your wife. Ask her (when you are calm) if she was mad about something, and that maybe that is why she passive agressively didn't want you to have apple pie? And tell her how you feel about the whole food thing. If that doesn't work to talk it out, then I agree with others that suggest counseling.

[Anonymous]

Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

It's just how it goes...for you. Not everyone is willing to sacrifice every part of themselves including what they want to eat for dessert just in case the kids might want it. His kids are teenagers, if they can't deal with there not being any pie left then good luck to them on living out the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

It's just how it goes...for you. Not everyone is willing to sacrifice every part of themselves including what they want to eat for dessert just in case the kids might want it. His kids are teenagers, if they can't deal with there not being any pie left then good luck to them on living out the rest of their lives.

Agreed. Plus, it seems that DW is sacrificing only DH for her lovely children. Of course, he's only giving his side of the story. But it looks to me like his wife is intentionally undermining him and that sucks hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

Because the kids already ate the damn pie. So they get seconds and dad gets none? Seriously, what kind of weird universe do you live in?? (I can't believe I'm typing anything about pie as if it matters, but in this case it really kind of does!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

I read it as the kids and presumably everyone but OP had already had their pick of desserts, and DW wanted him to eat the carrot cake in case they wanted more pie later. F that. What's he supposed to do, wait till everyone else has seconds? Thirds? He's already not getting laid, might as well have some apple pie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

I read it as the kids and presumably everyone but OP had already had their pick of desserts, and DW wanted him to eat the carrot cake in case they wanted more pie later. F that. What's he supposed to do, wait till everyone else has seconds? Thirds? He's already not getting laid, might as well have some apple pie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

I read it as the kids and presumably everyone but OP had already had their pick of desserts, and DW wanted him to eat the carrot cake in case they wanted more pie later. F that. What's he supposed to do, wait till everyone else has seconds? Thirds? He's already not getting laid, might as well have some apple pie.

Yes exactly and tell her to screw the carrot cake next year, it sucks and buy enough food for everyone. They do not sound like they are poor so why is there not enough food to go around? Because DW didn't buy enough I'm guessing. I know people like this that habitually do not buy enough food to feed their family. Some people are just like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

In your world.

My marriage comes first and my kids greatly benefit from having parents who are still in love modeling a healthy relationship.

Good luck with that. I bet sex in your house can be measured in leap years.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a disrespectful bitch loser and YOU sound like a loser for putting up with it. Leave her sorry ass and eat all the pie you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh. Im with DW on this. Its not the end of the world if you eat the pie but honestly if the kids prefer the pie why not eat the cake. Its not like you didn't have another option and you did sleep through desert. Did you consider that perhaps she too wants the pie but has left it for the kids. I guess in my mind my kids will always come first before DH and myself. Its not that you are a an after thought its just that you are an adult, husband and father all these things come after children. It will never end, the kids will always come first only until they have children of their own in which case you (and your wife) will fall farther down the pole. Sorry. Its just how it goes.

In your world.

My marriage comes first and my kids greatly benefit from having parents who are still in love modeling a healthy relationship.

Good luck with that. I bet sex in your house can be measured in leap years.

Why are you so sour? Actually we have a great sex life thank you and a better than average marriage. I also think that stating, "your marriage comes first" is selfish. Your family, including your spouse, should come first and within that structure there are priorities. My children are still young so perhaps this changes but they come first and always will. This does not mean that my relationship with my husband has to suffer. I would hope that he would say the same about his relationship with me. Would you say this if you re-married? Would you want your spouse to adopt this position if he remarried? A happy marriage and putting children as a priority in a family environment do not have to be mutually exclusive.

I just think OP sounds like a brat. He slept through a portion of a family meal then gets upset because his wife, who is probably pissed at his general self-centered attitude. This is exhibited by OP getting so upset that he couldn't have it that he came to DCUM to complain about it. He had another option, he doesn't say apple pie is his favorite or a tradition he likes to keep. This whole post isn't about pie its about DW's passive aggressive resentment to OP's selfishness and he's even mad at his kids. Next time OP, if you want the pie so badly join the family for desert and take your nap after you help clean up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just think OP sounds like a brat. He slept through a portion of a family meal then gets upset because his wife, who is probably pissed at his general self-centered attitude. This is exhibited by OP getting so upset that he couldn't have it that he came to DCUM to complain about it. He had another option, he doesn't say apple pie is his favorite or a tradition he likes to keep. This whole post isn't about pie its about DW's passive aggressive resentment to OP's selfishness and he's even mad at his kids. Next time OP, if you want the pie so badly join the family for desert and take your nap after you help clean up!

Did you read the part where OP said his wife does this regularly? It wasn't just one time on Easter. She routinely doesn't make enough food for dinner and he has to eat leftovers while the rest of the family gets pork chops. She's dismissing him and undercutting him. Could he have done more to help on Sunday? Absolutely. But if his wife pulls this shit regularly, she's a controlling bitch. If she is the primary meal preparer, she needs to make enough for everybody. Or he should run out today, buy 10 pies, and tell the family that nobody else can touch them. He should make a surf and turf for dinner for one tonight. Because she's pulling the reverse on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like a jerk. You didn't lift a finger to help your wife put on a big holiday meal, except a 10 min grocery run while she slaves away in the kitchen all day. Probably like she does every day after working all day. Then after the meal, you offer a measly thank you and go sleep on the couch? What is wrong with you?! Of course she's pissed when you come in the kitchen looking for more of her home cooked food. Did you make any pies? And why not let your kids have what they like and eat the carrot cake?


Do you split household chores 50/50 now that she is back to work? Take turns making dinner and doing all the dishes/laundry etc? When your kids ate watching tv in the living room, do you barge in and demand that they leave so you can watch your show? You sound just like my dad and I'm sure he would sound like you, blaming my mom for everything. Thank god they got divorced.

[Anonymous]

I think OP and DW sound like they have more problems than just this leftovers issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a jerk. You didn't lift a finger to help your wife put on a big holiday meal, except a 10 min grocery run while she slaves away in the kitchen all day. Probably like she does every day after working all day. Then after the meal, you offer a measly thank you and go sleep on the couch? What is wrong with you?! Of course she's pissed when you come in the kitchen looking for more of her home cooked food. Did you make any pies? And why not let your kids have what they like and eat the carrot cake?


Do you split household chores 50/50 now that she is back to work? Take turns making dinner and doing all the dishes/laundry etc? When your kids ate watching tv in the living room, do you barge in and demand that they leave so you can watch your show? You sound just like my dad and I'm sure he would sound like you, blaming my mom for everything. Thank god they got divorced.

So instead of asking for help, the wife should be passive-aggressive and tell him to eat leftovers while she and the kids get porkchops? Got it.