How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?

[Anonymous]

Yup, ridiculous. Makes 500k and she wants him to brown bag instead if going to Chili's to save money.

We're not talking buying a Tesla or going to Vegas and hosting a bunch of hookers. Nope. Brown bagging instead of Chili's on 1/2 mil a yr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup, ridiculous. Makes 500k and she wants him to brown bag instead if going to Chili's to save money.

We're not talking buying a Tesla or going to Vegas and hosting a bunch of hookers. Nope. Brown bagging instead of Chili's on 1/2 mil a yr.

For the record, the husband did buy Tesla or something else expensie (he has $1000 car payment each month). But for some reason she chose to focus on the "wasteful" lunch at Chilli's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with most of the comments here. We have a HHI of about 400, and I hate to see myself or DH wasting money on this kind of stuff, though we certainly do because we just get tired, or need a pick me up, or whatever. I grew up poor, and when I see the aggregate totals of what we waste it frightens me. What if I end up poor again at some time in my life and I will have to live with the knowledge that, for years, we wasted around $1000 a month on stuff like Starbucks, iTunes, lunches and dinners out, and other nonsense.

OP, my suggestion would be to start using mint.com to track these expenses. No one minds a $15 lunch at Chili's but if you do it every workday it is another story. Getting the monthly reports from Mint was an eye opener for me.

just because you have issues you are struggling with doesn't mean OP's husband has to live according to your far fetched hypotheticals.

Whoopie for you that you find my hypothetical far-fetched. You live in a dream world if you think that. Unless you come from a wealthy family it really can happen to anyone and I got the sense from the way OP described her DH's income that it could be sales-related in which case, no guarantees at all.

far fetched scenarios can happen to anyone, yes. that doesn't make them any less far fetched. i could be, god forbid, eaten by a crocodile. it unfortunately has happened to some people. planning my life around that possibility would be insane. and so is living like you are going to lose everything overnight.

You know, you're probably right. I concede. The mental/emotional scars of poverty, i guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we were having a similar disagreement, we sat down and made a budget that included a certain amount of money a month for each of us that was ours to spend, no questions asked or comments allowed (within reason, if DH had spent it on hookers and blow I would have commented). That way we stayed with our bigger picture financial goals and stopped arguing completely about frivolous spending. I think it's dumb to get $5 coffee at Starbucks, but it's his money, so whatever. I know it's not more than a certain amount a month, so it's not a big deal.

We make a lot less than you though, so it was easy to get DH on board with the need to fit it into our budget.

It doesn't matter if it's less. This pp is spot on. They need to have a joint vision for how that money can be best put to use. If he spends like this what does that say about his savings habits, their retirement planning, etc.? Some financial counseling/budget planning is in order and then they can allot the free and clear mad money. And one last thing--the money is equally hers. I assume she's at home caring for kids. She doesn't get to spend less simply because she makes less. Marriage means sharing equally.

[Anonymous]

Get a financial planner. How many stories have we heard of folks that were rolling in $$$ lose it all. Even if Dh made 500k I would not be happy with blowing money like it's water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a financial planner. How many stories have we heard of folks that were rolling in $$$ lose it all. Even if Dh made 500k I would not be happy with blowing money like it's water.

It's not "blowing money", he's buying lunch... at Chili's. Op wants him to brown bag or eat at a diner or someplace cheaper like maybe MickyD's?!? So he's saving $10 or whatever. Petty and stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a financial planner. How many stories have we heard of folks that were rolling in $$$ lose it all. Even if Dh made 500k I would not be happy with blowing money like it's water.

It's not "blowing money", he's buying lunch... at Chili's. Op wants him to brown bag or eat at a diner or someplace cheaper like maybe MickyD's?!? So he's saving $10 or whatever. Petty and stupid.

+1

[Anonymous]

This is so outrageous. LOL

It would be different if the guy was spending $50 a day on lunches, but Chili's? You've got to be kidding me. If the guy wants to spend $300mo on lunch, who cares?

Everything other than basic shelter, food, and clothing is "extra". You don't need perfume. You don't need hair dye. You don't need exfoliating face wash. You don't need plenty of things I'm sure you purchase. Get over it. Hell, go beyond just getting over it. Surprise him every month or so and invite HIM out to lunch with you!

[Anonymous]

Going to chili's is saving dum dum

[Anonymous]

Spending on lunch out bugs me too, because I work at home and usually eat leftovers or a salad. And then I hear he's eaten at Legal Seafood or someplace I'd like to go! Then he also takes a pal to lunch or dinner and drops $60 to 100. I think he likes to show off that he can afford to do that. Whatever. Not how I'd spend it, but he likes being a generous boss/co-worker. I think it's a little wasteful, but it does fuel the economy and keep him happy.

I gave up on trying to pack him lunch about 7 years ago. I figured out that he likes a "fresh" and hot lunch and is a happier camper for the rest of the day.

[Anonymous]

Chili's has a lunch menu for $6, $7, and $8 dollars, not much more than a fast food burger with fries and a drink.

OP should cancel cable tv first if she really wants to save money.

[Anonymous]

OMG this thread is too funny. Going to get my popcorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG this thread is too funny. Going to get my popcorn.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chili's has a lunch menu for $6, $7, and $8 dollars, not much more than a fast food burger with fries and a drink.

OP should cancel cable tv first if she really wants to save money.

Internet, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a financial planner. How many stories have we heard of folks that were rolling in $$$ lose it all. Even if Dh made 500k I would not be happy with blowing money like it's water.

It's not "blowing money", he's buying lunch... at Chili's. Op wants him to brown bag or eat at a diner or someplace cheaper like maybe MickyD's?!? So he's saving $10 or whatever. Petty and stupid.

OP gave other examples of him wasting money, folks just chose to focus on one item.