Arguing with DS over major

[Anonymous]

Film degree earned in 2003- Master in animation 2012
Multimedia specialist now and love my life-

When I told my mom I wanted to be a filmmaker she said I needed to study something useful like typing!

Needless to say, I didn't and neither of us regrets my decision to go after something I had interest in and was passionate about.

OP, demanding your child study something he has no interest in is such a bigger waste, you WILL regret it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so my DS has decided he will be going to Maryland-college park next year, and now he wants to major in History and Geography.

Obviously, we are not okay with this. We are paying his tuition, and don't want to waste our money on a useless degree. He knows which degrees are okay with us (nursing, engineering, business/accounting, and computer science). We have gotten in several arguments but he seems dead set on wasting our money. We are at the point where we are going to tell him we are not going to allow him to go to college and wait a few years until he is mature enough to make an informed decision on his major, but was wondering if any of you guys had any last-ditch ideas of how to convince him to choose a more acceptable major.

Is ROTC or Military an option?

History/Geography major - NROTC or ROTC as an officer doing MI work - detach before you turn 30, move to civ IC or contractor or grad school (paid by mil if you stay in service)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- we are paying for the college. He can't pay for it himself, so that is how we will stop him from going to college for a year or two.

Why he does not want to go into a good program because he does not want to take calculus.

And yes there are some jobs out there that might take a history/geography major, but for each opening thousands of unemployed liberal arts majors send their application in.

We worked really hard to get to the point where we can afford college for our kids, paying for a history/geography degree for us is like spending 100k for a car that will break down in a few years, it is not a good financial decision. Fact is your college major will determine if you are homeless or in the upper class when you are 40, maybe it is sad, but that is how it is in modern America.

i haven't read the wholel thread because i knew people were going to attack you. your money, your rules - no such thing as 'adult' while parents are paying the bills.

OP, you are correct but you need to broaden your options. nursing sounds bad (for a man), but being a doctor sounds great. is he interested in being a doctor?

There's difference in interest in ability - most interested pre-med's don't make it to med school.

if he is not smart, he shouldn't be in college, period. parents should give him college money for downpayment for the house. it will take forever to buy one anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are completely misinformed. I work for a college of arts and sciences at a top US university. On my advisory board are several alumni who graduated with "useless" degrees who are now executives at Fortune 500 companies, VP's at investment firms, successful entreprenuers, attorneys and doctors. Many of them did not major as undergraduates in what they eventually went on to do.

I suggest you read research from the American Association of Colleges and Universities that demonstrates what employers really want - http://www.aacu.org/leap/presidentstrust/compact/2013SurveySummary.cfm.

Here's a summary of the skills they want to see MORE of: "More than 75% of employers say they want more emphasis on 5 key areas including: critical thinking, complex problem-solving, written and oral communication, and applied knowledge in real-world settings."

At a good school, if you work hard and apply yourself, you can gain those SKILLS (vs. specific knowledge) through any major and by participating in research opportunities, internships, and experiential (hands-on) learning opportunities. Students who focus on a very narrow subject, and who take a minimal number of liberal arts courses, may be trained to do something very specific but lacking in the exact skills employers say they want.

Bottom line - you are looking at this the wrong way. If you try to force your (now legally adult) child down a path YOU want, versus supporting them in what they are passionate about, they will not do well in school. Period. I have seen it time and time again. Your child will be more successful if you allow them to pursue their passions academically while encouraging them, throughout their college experience, to take advantage of opportunities that allow them to apply what they've learned in practical, real-world settings.

Do it your way and you will not only damage your relationship with your child, but you will stymy their learning (and future earning) potential. Think on it.

BS. my mother forced my brother to study engineering (his passion was physics) and he was the top student in a very competitive school. he has always been very thankful for it.

That is ONE anecdote. I have worked at 3 different universities. Trust me, I've seen more cases that refute your story than I have seen success cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are completely misinformed. I work for a college of arts and sciences at a top US university. On my advisory board are several alumni who graduated with "useless" degrees who are now executives at Fortune 500 companies, VP's at investment firms, successful entreprenuers, attorneys and doctors. Many of them did not major as undergraduates in what they eventually went on to do.

I suggest you read research from the American Association of Colleges and Universities that demonstrates what employers really want - http://www.aacu.org/leap/presidentstrust/compact/2013SurveySummary.cfm.

Here's a summary of the skills they want to see MORE of: "More than 75% of employers say they want more emphasis on 5 key areas including: critical thinking, complex problem-solving, written and oral communication, and applied knowledge in real-world settings."

At a good school, if you work hard and apply yourself, you can gain those SKILLS (vs. specific knowledge) through any major and by participating in research opportunities, internships, and experiential (hands-on) learning opportunities. Students who focus on a very narrow subject, and who take a minimal number of liberal arts courses, may be trained to do something very specific but lacking in the exact skills employers say they want.

Bottom line - you are looking at this the wrong way. If you try to force your (now legally adult) child down a path YOU want, versus supporting them in what they are passionate about, they will not do well in school. Period. I have seen it time and time again. Your child will be more successful if you allow them to pursue their passions academically while encouraging them, throughout their college experience, to take advantage of opportunities that allow them to apply what they've learned in practical, real-world settings.

Do it your way and you will not only damage your relationship with your child, but you will stymy their learning (and future earning) potential. Think on it.

BS. my mother forced my brother to study engineering (his passion was physics) and he was the top student in a very competitive school. he has always been very thankful for it.

Engineering and physics are closely related - both STEM. That's a long way from the big difference between OP's mandate and what his/her son wants to do. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

So you've got 3 options:

1,. Force him to get a vocational degree that he may not do well in. Job prospects not great.

2. Make him not go to college until he does it your way. Great job prospects at the minimart on that path.

3. Let him go intending to major in history and geography and see what happens. He may change his mind more than once (my DC did). He may stick with it and do great.

As I see it option 3 has the best outcome. And you're talking about UMD here, not a $60k/year liberal arts school. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are completely misinformed. I work for a college of arts and sciences at a top US university. On my advisory board are several alumni who graduated with "useless" degrees who are now executives at Fortune 500 companies, VP's at investment firms, successful entreprenuers, attorneys and doctors. Many of them did not major as undergraduates in what they eventually went on to do.

I suggest you read research from the American Association of Colleges and Universities that demonstrates what employers really want - http://www.aacu.org/leap/presidentstrust/compact/2013SurveySummary.cfm.

Here's a summary of the skills they want to see MORE of: "More than 75% of employers say they want more emphasis on 5 key areas including: critical thinking, complex problem-solving, written and oral communication, and applied knowledge in real-world settings."

At a good school, if you work hard and apply yourself, you can gain those SKILLS (vs. specific knowledge) through any major and by participating in research opportunities, internships, and experiential (hands-on) learning opportunities. Students who focus on a very narrow subject, and who take a minimal number of liberal arts courses, may be trained to do something very specific but lacking in the exact skills employers say they want.

Bottom line - you are looking at this the wrong way. If you try to force your (now legally adult) child down a path YOU want, versus supporting them in what they are passionate about, they will not do well in school. Period. I have seen it time and time again. Your child will be more successful if you allow them to pursue their passions academically while encouraging them, throughout their college experience, to take advantage of opportunities that allow them to apply what they've learned in practical, real-world settings.

Do it your way and you will not only damage your relationship with your child, but you will stymy their learning (and future earning) potential. Think on it.

BS. my mother forced my brother to study engineering (his passion was physics) and he was the top student in a very competitive school. he has always been very thankful for it.

That is ONE anecdote. I have worked at 3 different universities. Trust me, I've seen more cases that refute your story than I have seen success cases.

maybe, but you are not objective, nor are you exposed to random cases. or you think you know how each students has decided their major?

i disagree with the rest of your post as well. employers don't necessarily know what they want ie. they know it when they see it, but don't have a proper theory of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are completely misinformed. I work for a college of arts and sciences at a top US university. On my advisory board are several alumni who graduated with "useless" degrees who are now executives at Fortune 500 companies, VP's at investment firms, successful entreprenuers, attorneys and doctors. Many of them did not major as undergraduates in what they eventually went on to do.

I suggest you read research from the American Association of Colleges and Universities that demonstrates what employers really want - http://www.aacu.org/leap/presidentstrust/compact/2013SurveySummary.cfm.

Here's a summary of the skills they want to see MORE of: "More than 75% of employers say they want more emphasis on 5 key areas including: critical thinking, complex problem-solving, written and oral communication, and applied knowledge in real-world settings."

At a good school, if you work hard and apply yourself, you can gain those SKILLS (vs. specific knowledge) through any major and by participating in research opportunities, internships, and experiential (hands-on) learning opportunities. Students who focus on a very narrow subject, and who take a minimal number of liberal arts courses, may be trained to do something very specific but lacking in the exact skills employers say they want.

Bottom line - you are looking at this the wrong way. If you try to force your (now legally adult) child down a path YOU want, versus supporting them in what they are passionate about, they will not do well in school. Period. I have seen it time and time again. Your child will be more successful if you allow them to pursue their passions academically while encouraging them, throughout their college experience, to take advantage of opportunities that allow them to apply what they've learned in practical, real-world settings.

Do it your way and you will not only damage your relationship with your child, but you will stymy their learning (and future earning) potential. Think on it.

BS. my mother forced my brother to study engineering (his passion was physics) and he was the top student in a very competitive school. he has always been very thankful for it.

Engineering and physics are closely related - both STEM. That's a long way from the big difference between OP's mandate and what his/her son wants to do. Big difference.

it's a very big difference in the country where this happened. totally different school, he wouldn't be able to transfer a single course between the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are completely misinformed. I work for a college of arts and sciences at a top US university. On my advisory board are several alumni who graduated with "useless" degrees who are now executives at Fortune 500 companies, VP's at investment firms, successful entreprenuers, attorneys and doctors. Many of them did not major as undergraduates in what they eventually went on to do.

I suggest you read research from the American Association of Colleges and Universities that demonstrates what employers really want - http://www.aacu.org/leap/presidentstrust/compact/2013SurveySummary.cfm.

Here's a summary of the skills they want to see MORE of: "More than 75% of employers say they want more emphasis on 5 key areas including: critical thinking, complex problem-solving, written and oral communication, and applied knowledge in real-world settings."

At a good school, if you work hard and apply yourself, you can gain those SKILLS (vs. specific knowledge) through any major and by participating in research opportunities, internships, and experiential (hands-on) learning opportunities. Students who focus on a very narrow subject, and who take a minimal number of liberal arts courses, may be trained to do something very specific but lacking in the exact skills employers say they want.

Bottom line - you are looking at this the wrong way. If you try to force your (now legally adult) child down a path YOU want, versus supporting them in what they are passionate about, they will not do well in school. Period. I have seen it time and time again. Your child will be more successful if you allow them to pursue their passions academically while encouraging them, throughout their college experience, to take advantage of opportunities that allow them to apply what they've learned in practical, real-world settings.

Do it your way and you will not only damage your relationship with your child, but you will stymy their learning (and future earning) potential. Think on it.

BS. my mother forced my brother to study engineering (his passion was physics) and he was the top student in a very competitive school. he has always been very thankful for it.

That is ONE anecdote. I have worked at 3 different universities. Trust me, I've seen more cases that refute your story than I have seen success cases.

maybe, but you are not objective, nor are you exposed to random cases. or you think you know how each students has decided their major?

i disagree with the rest of your post as well. employers don't necessarily know what they want ie. they know it when they see it, but don't have a proper theory of it.

Gold Chip employers know exactly what they want. You don't think the top consulting firms, top banks, hedge funds, PE funds, Microsoft, Google, FB, top law firms like W&C/Cravath don't know who they want?

They have recruiting down to almost a science.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all responses, OP, but I think you are misinformed.

See the 10 most useful degrees:
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-10-most-usefull-graduate-degrees-2013-10

And the 10 most useless degrees:
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-10-most-useless-graduate-degrees-2013-9

[Anonymous]

Some thoughts:

--You are paying in-state tuition? It's not like he wants to go private for $200K

--We don't know the jobs that will exist in the next 10 years

--He may change his mind

--I assume UMCP has a lot of practical experience by way of internships and job placement

--If you insist on this, he might find a way to go himself, or never go. Isn't college more than just a job? It's teaching people to think and make connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are completely misinformed. I work for a college of arts and sciences at a top US university. On my advisory board are several alumni who graduated with "useless" degrees who are now executives at Fortune 500 companies, VP's at investment firms, successful entreprenuers, attorneys and doctors. Many of them did not major as undergraduates in what they eventually went on to do.

I suggest you read research from the American Association of Colleges and Universities that demonstrates what employers really want - http://www.aacu.org/leap/presidentstrust/compact/2013SurveySummary.cfm.

Here's a summary of the skills they want to see MORE of: "More than 75% of employers say they want more emphasis on 5 key areas including: critical thinking, complex problem-solving, written and oral communication, and applied knowledge in real-world settings."

At a good school, if you work hard and apply yourself, you can gain those SKILLS (vs. specific knowledge) through any major and by participating in research opportunities, internships, and experiential (hands-on) learning opportunities. Students who focus on a very narrow subject, and who take a minimal number of liberal arts courses, may be trained to do something very specific but lacking in the exact skills employers say they want.

Bottom line - you are looking at this the wrong way. If you try to force your (now legally adult) child down a path YOU want, versus supporting them in what they are passionate about, they will not do well in school. Period. I have seen it time and time again. Your child will be more successful if you allow them to pursue their passions academically while encouraging them, throughout their college experience, to take advantage of opportunities that allow them to apply what they've learned in practical, real-world settings.

Do it your way and you will not only damage your relationship with your child, but you will stymy their learning (and future earning) potential. Think on it.

BS. my mother forced my brother to study engineering (his passion was physics) and he was the top student in a very competitive school. he has always been very thankful for it.

That is ONE anecdote. I have worked at 3 different universities. Trust me, I've seen more cases that refute your story than I have seen success cases.

maybe, but you are not objective, nor are you exposed to random cases. or you think you know how each students has decided their major?

i disagree with the rest of your post as well. employers don't necessarily know what they want ie. they know it when they see it, but don't have a proper theory of it.

Gold Chip employers know exactly what they want. You don't think the top consulting firms, top banks, hedge funds, PE funds, Microsoft, Google, FB, top law firms like W&C/Cravath don't know who they want?

They have recruiting down to almost a science.

OP's son is not going to work for any of those companies. and their recruting is BS, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some thoughts:

--You are paying in-state tuition? It's not like he wants to go private for $200K

--We don't know the jobs that will exist in the next 10 years

--He may change his mind

--I assume UMCP has a lot of practical experience by way of internships and job placement

--If you insist on this, he might find a way to go himself, or never go. Isn't college more than just a job? It's teaching people to think and make connections.

this is correct, including the fact that we won't know whether college degree itself will be worth anything. i would never ever ever pay 100k (let alone 200k!!) for my child's college degree. and i have an ivy league phd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some thoughts:

--You are paying in-state tuition? It's not like he wants to go private for $200K

--We don't know the jobs that will exist in the next 10 years

--He may change his mind

--I assume UMCP has a lot of practical experience by way of internships and job placement

--If you insist on this, he might find a way to go himself, or never go. Isn't college more than just a job? It's teaching people to think and make connections.

this is correct, including the fact that we won't know whether college degree itself will be worth anything. i would never ever ever pay 100k (let alone 200k!!) for my child's college degree. and i have an ivy league phd.

What? So you won't even pay for state school? That will be a kid with great career options.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am probably the lone person that agrees with you. My parents told me early on that they would pay for college and graduate school but their one major requirement was that I had to pick a major/degree that would lead to a professional job. They did not care what I minored in and were willing to pay for extra classes in my areas of interest but they were very firm on it. We will be doing the same for our child. I would pick majors that he can minor in that and major in business, education, etc.