In a hanging conversation, feeling like a dummy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you were selfish to write that.

ITA. I'm sure you weren't trying to be mean but damn... you broke his heart, why peel the scab off the wounds? You were feeling generous when you wrote it... it probably made him feel bitter and angry, which are most likely the feelings he's worked his ass off to get past.

I'm a recently divorced ex wife whose DH probably feels like yours- broken hearted etc. You have to remember- This isn't about you.

Why do women keep leaving guys? No wonder none of my friends want to get married. Who wants to be in a situation where the risk is so high?

I'm the PP. I didn't leave my DH and he contributed to our divorce at least as much as much as I did, but he still probably feels devastated in the way OP and other men in this thread have stated that they felt. I say this based on knowing him, not based on the particulars of the demise of our marriage.

I agree with this. I'm one of the pp's going through marriage counseling because of me saying to dh that it was that or we split. His biggest reaction has been hurt feelings due to rejection. He's said nothing about me, that he loves me, he cares about me, he would miss seeing me every day, talking to me. Only that he feels hurt, that he feels rejected.

I'm not saying he doesn't have the right to feel that way, but that feeling is just about him. It's not about wanting to be married to me, it's just hurt like you are when you get fired from a job.

For the woman, for me, that feels like I'm right when I feel that he doesn't really love me or care about me.

Of course you know that men and women think and behave differently? He does feel rejected. He feels like a familiar as a man because his wife, yes you, is saying that she is not happy with what he provides. Sitting in counseling is the ultimate ego deflator, especially if the counselor is a woman. At each session he hears about how he is inadequate and clueless.

Men don't sit there like women and discuss their feelings-they take action. Wife unhappy? Buy flowers? She says the house looks like a dump? Do some work on it. I don't know you or your husband but the fact that he at least goes to counseling means that he does love you and cares enough to show up. HE knows that you provide emotional support to him and would miss it.

meant "failure"