Do you have a child that is gay or bi?

[Anonymous]

I have a son who might be but not sure. I am concerned first and foremost with the eternal afterlife. Being a huge sinner myself, I struggle with my own inborn tendencies of selfishness, lust,greed, and pride. I am thankful for the gift of forgiveness God has extended in the death of his son Jesus and fighting my sinful nature is a ongoing battle. If my sons particular sin is homosexual sex then I would advise him to take it up with God and struggle with the rest of us. We all have 2 unsolvable problems sin and death...we will all end up 6 feet under. Nobody cares about your opinions or feelings then! Accept the gift and struggle to show you appreciate it. Wait till he's old enough to comprehend these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up next door to one of my cousins. He is two years younger than me and we've ( my sisters and I) have known he was gay ("different" when we were younger) since he was probably 5 or 6. He has two older brothers but he always, always preferred playing with us girls over hanging out with his brothers. Now, as adult, he is most definitely gay, and I think may be transgendered as well.

If he is a man, attracted to men, he is gay. If she is a (trans)woman, attracted to men, she is not gay.

How is one supposed to keep these pronouns straight? Perhaps we should just start saying "it."

people are not objects. if you want a non-offensive personal pronoun may I suggest the singular "they".

"They" is not singular. That would be grammatically incorrect and thus equally offensive.

Tell that to Shakespeare and Jane Austen. They both used the singular "they".

Some people object to the use of plural pronouns in this type of situation on the grounds that it’s ungrammatical. In fact, the use of plural pronouns to refer back to a singular subject isn’t new: it represents a revival of a practice dating from the 16th century. It’s increasingly common in current English and is now widely accepted both in speech and in writing.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/words/he-or-she-versus-they

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know if you are gay that early. You know after puberty. Saying that he should be with men is going to confuse him. Wait until afterer puberty when the hormones kick in.

You haven't talked to many people who are gay/lesbian, have you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You haven't talked to many people who are gay/lesbian, have you?

You don't have to be gay to know the answer to this. Even if you are straight, when was your first "crush"? Most people have their first crush when they are 10-13. It may not be a direct correlation but most people have a pretty good idea of who they are attracted to at an early age. Whether or not they admit it to themselves is another thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a son who might be but not sure. I am concerned first and foremost with the eternal afterlife. Being a huge sinner myself, I struggle with my own inborn tendencies of selfishness, lust,greed, and pride. I am thankful for the gift of forgiveness God has extended in the death of his son Jesus and fighting my sinful nature is a ongoing battle. If my sons particular sin is homosexual sex then I would advise him to take it up with God and struggle with the rest of us. We all have 2 unsolvable problems sin and death...we will all end up 6 feet under. Nobody cares about your opinions or feelings then! Accept the gift and struggle to show you appreciate it. Wait till he's old enough to comprehend these things.

Do you read the entire Bible or just Leviticus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know if you are gay that early. You know after puberty. Saying that he should be with men is going to confuse him. Wait until afterer puberty when the hormones kick in.

You don't know if you are straight that early. You know after puberty. Saying that he should be with women is going to confuse him. Wait until after puberty when the hormones kick in.

--would you agree with this, PP?

[Anonymous]

I'm looking for a place for my gay 16 year old daughter to connect with other teens. Her very small school has no other LGBTQ students. And the size of the school has limited her ability to make friends. We live in NW and are hoping to connect her with social groups in DC, where she can meet other teens. Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for a place for my gay 16 year old daughter to connect with other teens. Her very small school has no other LGBTQ students. And the size of the school has limited her ability to make friends. We live in NW and are hoping to connect her with social groups in DC, where she can meet other teens. Suggestions?

try the lgbt center in DC. I forget the name. I've been elsewhere for the past 4 years. I think they have a youth group. I joined a lgbt youth group in college and it was the best decision I made

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up next door to one of my cousins. He is two years younger than me and we've ( my sisters and I) have known he was gay ("different" when we were younger) since he was probably 5 or 6. He has two older brothers but he always, always preferred playing with us girls over hanging out with his brothers. Now, as adult, he is most definitely gay, and I think may be transgendered as well.

If he is a man, attracted to men, he is gay. If she is a (trans)woman, attracted to men, she is not gay.

Right, but I haven't seen him in probably 15 years so I'm not sure. He likes men, attracted to men, and the possibility of being transgendered is based on what other family members have said about him (in a very unkind way). They all live in a different country so things I hear are from my mom who travels back and forth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Especially in teen girls and even more so in teen girls with mental health problems it seems to be very common to experiment with orientations. If they are struggling with identity, it makes sense they are struggling in all realms.

Same as how 50-60% of homeless kids identify as non-straight. Part of the culture. Teens in foster care/group homes also have much higher rates of non straight orientations.

When development hits big barriers (abuse, trauma, neglect, mental illness) one would expect that really all parts of development process would be impacted, including sexual orientation. People who identify as non straight report far more early life trauma.

Did you ever think that these kids are being kicked out of their homes for being gay/bi?

That may be true for a very small proportion but for the most part it isn't. These aren't kids from great homes that are anti-gay. It is rarely situations where parents and straight sibs are at home having a great life and just this one child gets kicked out or leaves because s/he is gay. These are mostly kids from quite dysfunctional homes where there are tons of issues, and their parents and sibs are also having issues. And often these teens don't self-identity as non-straight until they are on the street.

Link to reference on all of this info? It seems like a lot of assumptions if you are not getting this from an actual study of homeless children and frankly it seems really unconvincing.

New poster here: my google search found several stories of GLBT kids kicked out of their homes; here's one: http://www.npr.org/2011/11/20/142364493/young-gay-and-homeless-fighting-for-resources

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Especially in teen girls and even more so in teen girls with mental health problems it seems to be very common to experiment with orientations. If they are struggling with identity, it makes sense they are struggling in all realms.

Same as how 50-60% of homeless kids identify as non-straight. Part of the culture. Teens in foster care/group homes also have much higher rates of non straight orientations.

When development hits big barriers (abuse, trauma, neglect, mental illness) one would expect that really all parts of development process would be impacted, including sexual orientation. People who identify as non straight report far more early life trauma.

Did you ever think that these kids are being kicked out of their homes for being gay/bi?

That may be true for a very small proportion but for the most part it isn't. These aren't kids from great homes that are anti-gay. It is rarely situations where parents and straight sibs are at home having a great life and just this one child gets kicked out or leaves because s/he is gay. These are mostly kids from quite dysfunctional homes where there are tons of issues, and their parents and sibs are also having issues. And often these teens don't self-identity as non-straight until they are on the street.

Link to reference on all of this info? It seems like a lot of assumptions if you are not getting this from an actual study of homeless children and frankly it seems really unconvincing.

I write this as a physician who specializes in adolescent medicine and one sub-area of expertise is on LGBT adolescents. The first poster is using statistics incorrectly. Homeless LGBT youth end up on the street because of familial rejection of their sexual minority status. There is no data which suggests that family dysfunction causes homosexuality or gender discordance. I would recommend that s/he examine the following data from thinkprogress.org.:

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/07/12/515641/study-40-percent-of-homeless-youth-are-lgbt-family-rejection-is-leading-cause/#

Another reference from the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine:

https://www.adolescenthealth.org/SAHM_Main/media/Advocacy/Positions/Apr-13-LGBT-Position-Final.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Especially in teen girls and even more so in teen girls with mental health problems it seems to be very common to experiment with orientations. If they are struggling with identity, it makes sense they are struggling in all realms.

Same as how 50-60% of homeless kids identify as non-straight. Part of the culture. Teens in foster care/group homes also have much higher rates of non straight orientations.

When development hits big barriers (abuse, trauma, neglect, mental illness) one would expect that really all parts of development process would be impacted, including sexual orientation. People who identify as non straight report far more early life trauma.

Did you ever think that these kids are being kicked out of their homes for being gay/bi?

That may be true for a very small proportion but for the most part it isn't. These aren't kids from great homes that are anti-gay. It is rarely situations where parents and straight sibs are at home having a great life and just this one child gets kicked out or leaves because s/he is gay. These are mostly kids from quite dysfunctional homes where there are tons of issues, and their parents and sibs are also having issues. And often these teens don't self-identity as non-straight until they are on the street.

Link to reference on all of this info? It seems like a lot of assumptions if you are not getting this from an actual study of homeless children and frankly it seems really unconvincing.

I write this as a physician who specializes in adolescent medicine and one sub-area of expertise is on LGBT adolescents. The first poster is using statistics incorrectly. Homeless LGBT youth end up on the street because of familial rejection of their sexual minority status. There is no data which suggests that family dysfunction causes homosexuality or gender discordance. I would recommend that s/he examine the following data from thinkprogress.org.:

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/07/12/515641/study-40-percent-of-homeless-youth-are-lgbt-family-rejection-is-leading-cause/#

Another reference from the Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine:

https://www.adolescenthealth.org/SAHM_Main/media/Advocacy/Positions/Apr-13-LGBT-Position-Final.pdf

Well, now, I guess it could all depend on how you define "family dysfunction," couldn't it? I have a sense that would I would consider to be a family with problems/ issues/ dysfunction and what you would consider to be a family with problems/ issues/ dysfunction are not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I might; my DD is 9 and she comes off like…anyone old enough to remember Jodie Foster as a girl? With that husky voice? She had that "something's different" vibe. My DD comes off like that. Too soon to tell, but I won't be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You haven't talked to many people who are gay/lesbian, have you?

You don't have to be gay to know the answer to this. Even if you are straight, when was your first "crush"? Most people have their first crush when they are 10-13. It may not be a direct correlation but most people have a pretty good idea of who they are attracted to at an early age. Whether or not they admit it to themselves is another thread.

I had my first crush when I was 3, on Scott, the little boy in my carpool to nursery school. Then, I had my second crush in 1st grade when I was 5, on Matthew. In second grade, at age 6, I had a crush on Craig, because he was cute and very smart. Lest you worry this equals sluttiness, I didn't do more than kiss until I was in college, and have had sex with a whopping total of two men, the second of whom I married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might; my DD is 9 and she comes off like…anyone old enough to remember Jodie Foster as a girl? With that husky voice? She had that "something's different" vibe. My DD comes off like that. Too soon to tell, but I won't be surprised.

I remember going over to a new friend's house when I was 16 or 17, and her telling me of her little sister, who was 8 or 9 at the time, "I think she's gay; we'll see." Well, my friend was right - that little sister DID grow up to be gay.