Help me figure out match.com etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi pp! Thank you so much for your thoughtful list! I liked three men and it appears they havent even looked at my profile. Is this typical? I can tell by looking at the who viewed you list. Also, i emailed one guy who didnt look at my profile either. What do you think is going on? I am not really understanding this process. If i got an email or a like from someone i would look at their profile.

This is really surprising as I have always thought online dating is 100,000 times easier for women.

It is. Apparently, op is only messaging men way out of her league.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi pp! Thank you so much for your thoughtful list! I liked three men and it appears they havent even looked at my profile. Is this typical? I can tell by looking at the who viewed you list. Also, i emailed one guy who didnt look at my profile either. What do you think is going on? I am not really understanding this process. If i got an email or a like from someone i would look at their profile.

This is really surprising as I have always thought online dating is 100,000 times easier for women.

It is. Apparently, op is only messaging men way out of her league.

This is the OP. 'League' seems very high school to me. The majority of guys I have written are around 40, never been married, and are usually searching for someone a bit younger. They are also attractive. I suppose that I am looking for someone out of my league because most of these guys don't want another woman's baggage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi pp! Thank you so much for your thoughtful list! I liked three men and it appears they havent even looked at my profile. Is this typical? I can tell by looking at the who viewed you list. Also, i emailed one guy who didnt look at my profile either. What do you think is going on? I am not really understanding this process. If i got an email or a like from someone i would look at their profile.

This is really surprising as I have always thought online dating is 100,000 times easier for women.

It is. Apparently, op is only messaging men way out of her league.

This is the OP. 'League' seems very high school to me. The majority of guys I have written are around 40, never been married, and are usually searching for someone a bit younger. They are also attractive. I suppose that I am looking for someone out of my league because most of these guys don't want another woman's baggage!

OP - do you not want to date a divorced guy/single dad because you wouldn't want to deal with their baggage? If that's true, how ironic

If you aren't including single dads in your search you're going to find it very difficult as your expectations seem unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

So OP is chasing after men that want younger women and don't have kids... Seems a tall order unless she has her A+ game on.

[Anonymous]

Never married men in their 40s might have some baggage too, actually, or commitment issues.

[Anonymous]

"So OP is chasing after men that want younger women and don't have kids... Seems a tall order unless she has her A+ game on."

"Never married men in their 40s might have some baggage too, actually, or commitment issues."

Both statement are very true. There are some guys out there who would be content not having children of their own - especially true with men hitting their late 40s who have accepted that having their own kids isn't going to happen and if they want a family they should look for divorced women with kids. But you're not focusing on the right targets if you're 40 and looking at guys in their early-mid 40s without kids, because they are most likely looking for more fertile woman (32-37 range). Besides, there's about a 95% chance that these never-married guys in their 40s have commitment or other serious emotional issues that prevent them from being in a relationship, so even if you get a date with one of them they are only going to be useful to you as FWB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi PPs. This is OP. Thanks for all your replies and for catching up. You know, I really want to date and meet new people. I am not actively looking for a long term relationship at this point in my life. I never really dated before. I met my ex husband and we were married for almost 12 years so I feel I skipped the dating process. I am looking to meet people and just go out and have a nice time. If I meet someone I like, great! If not, then at least I went out and tried. It is hard for me to put myself out there and be the first one to email someone I find interesting - I am not like that in real life. I find internet dating awkward but at least they don't know me! The men who have contacted me are much older - in their fifties and at this stage I am not really looking to date a man that much older. Also, as shallow as this sounds they are not my type physically. Someone who is here visiting from France contacted me last night and seems eager to correspond with me. He is 40 and divorced and is a single dad. He liked, favored and emailed me. That may be a bit much. We have a few things in common so I will see. Also, I totally agree with the pp who said that single dads will have more in common with me. I don't know any single dads now. I did find a few that seemed interesting through match but they have not returned my emails. Thanks all! I really appreciate the advice and support.

So you have a problem with a man for showing clear interest in you too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi pp! Thank you so much for your thoughtful list! I liked three men and it appears they havent even looked at my profile. Is this typical? I can tell by looking at the who viewed you list. Also, i emailed one guy who didnt look at my profile either. What do you think is going on? I am not really understanding this process. If i got an email or a like from someone i would look at their profile.

This is really surprising as I have always thought online dating is 100,000 times easier for women.

It is. Apparently, op is only messaging men way out of her league.

This is the OP. 'League' seems very high school to me. The majority of guys I have written are around 40, never been married, and are usually searching for someone a bit younger. They are also attractive. I suppose that I am looking for someone out of my league because most of these guys don't want another woman's baggage!

Why would a never married guy with no kids want to date someone who is finished having a family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi pp! Thank you so much for your thoughtful list! I liked three men and it appears they havent even looked at my profile. Is this typical? I can tell by looking at the who viewed you list. Also, i emailed one guy who didnt look at my profile either. What do you think is going on? I am not really understanding this process. If i got an email or a like from someone i would look at their profile.

This is really surprising as I have always thought online dating is 100,000 times easier for women.

It is. Apparently, op is only messaging men way out of her league.

This is the OP. 'League' seems very high school to me. The majority of guys I have written are around 40, never been married, and are usually searching for someone a bit younger. They are also attractive. I suppose that I am looking for someone out of my league because most of these guys don't want another woman's baggage!

Why would a never married guy with no kids want to date someone who is finished having a family?

Why not? If I met a woman with a couple of kids who does not want any more and having a child of my own is non-issue, why should I not get involved with her? If we are great together, should I just leave ?

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like a nice person. There is no doubt that a man out there is going to like you and vice versa. Finding someone is about serendipity. Yes, you will get a "I met my husband on Match" responder but the reality is, online dating is a game and if you treat it as anything other than a game, you will drive yourself nuts. Talk to friends or co-workers. Say, "I would like to date again and meet someone as friends first. Keep me in mind if you know anybody". Acquaintances have cousins/friends/brothers-in-law, etc. I bet someone terrific is going to come into your life before you know it. And you had better let all of us know when it happens!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a nice person. There is no doubt that a man out there is going to like you and vice versa. Finding someone is about serendipity. Yes, you will get a "I met my husband on Match" responder but the reality is, online dating is a game and if you treat it as anything other than a game, you will drive yourself nuts. Talk to friends or co-workers. Say, "I would like to date again and meet someone as friends first. Keep me in mind if you know anybody". Acquaintances have cousins/friends/brothers-in-law, etc. I bet someone terrific is going to come into your life before you know it. And you had better let all of us know when it happens!

Thank you very much PP! I totally agree that online dating seems like a game! I just joined OK cupid a few days ago and all I can say is Wow. Thanks for your support and I will definitely keep you updated!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi pp! Thank you so much for your thoughtful list! I liked three men and it appears they havent even looked at my profile. Is this typical? I can tell by looking at the who viewed you list. Also, i emailed one guy who didnt look at my profile either. What do you think is going on? I am not really understanding this process. If i got an email or a like from someone i would look at their profile.

This is really surprising as I have always thought online dating is 100,000 times easier for women.

It is. Apparently, op is only messaging men way out of her league.

This is the OP. 'League' seems very high school to me. The majority of guys I have written are around 40, never been married, and are usually searching for someone a bit younger. They are also attractive. I suppose that I am looking for someone out of my league because most of these guys don't want another woman's baggage!

Why would a never married guy with no kids want to date someone who is finished having a family?

because most late 30s/early 40s guys still like having the option available. op's target should be guys with kids or slightly older guys without kids.

Why not? If I met a woman with a couple of kids who does not want any more and having a child of my own is non-issue, why should I not get involved with her? If we are great together, should I just leave ?