Anyone with twins wish they only had 1 child.

[Anonymous]

OP, A new poster and mom of twins here. Like another poster I have an older toddler but interestly I would never say twins are easier logistically (yet)....would like to talk to that mom!!

I was amazed at the difference - just try carrying two 3 month old babies down the stairs; breastfeeding two babies??? - if you do it at different times you are seriously breastfeeding all day - if you do it simultaneously...well then getting them set up without one rolling off, losing their 'latch', falling asleep and sliding off the pillow, etc, well then just try to burb two babies at the same time!
Then fast forward to 6 months and you are trying to pick two babies up out of their cribs - change two on the changing table....without one rolling away, eating her sisters diaper...or their sister (my two still naw on each other whenever they get a hold of any appendage!), etc, etc.....then just try to feed two hungry babies quick enough (before the age they can munch on something themselves). of course, if you try to do everything with one first you can get used to the other crying through much of the day! Running errands - ugh. I remember the threads about finding drive thru locations for just about any errand when I had just one infants - I thought 'boy, how lazy can someone be?'. Now, trying to get out to do anything with 3 little ones???? I am thinking about starting a campaign to ensure at least one drive thru Starbuck's, pharmacy, dry cleaners, etc in every town!! How to you take anything to a dry cleaner's with three kids that have to be carried in ?!?

Two is tough! My older child is just 2 1/2 also so my philosophy these days is to embrace chaos for a few years. Luckily I can now (twins are 8 months), look back and laugh at trying to breastfeed two babies for even 6 months, trying to hold down one baby to prevent her from rolling off the changing table while changing a messing diaper on her sister, and all the whiplash they had as I was trying to pick up and carry two infants around the house.

OP, I can feel for you. Though like a PP said - vacations are a blesisng and a curse - we could go placed other than grandparents but can't imagine wanting to just yet. I love go places where someone else will hold, entertain DC!

My situation is a bit different re: feelings b/c my first pregnancy was a twin pregnancy and I went into preterm labor at 21 weeks - I lost two beautiful baby girls. So, getting pregnant with twin girls after that loss was to me a blessing - and one I recall and am thankful for everytime the going gets tough. What I struggle with is the fact that the twins will never get the time and attention their older sibling did...hate the fact that I have to prop up bottles sometimes and let them cry a little more before I can see to their needs.

Hang in there.....

[Anonymous]

You all are really making me think about getting my tubes tied. If it's this miserable, why would anyone risk it?

[Anonymous]

to the the op:

your mama didn't give you very good advice if you expect to live in the world with other people who don't just stand in front of you and hold up a mirror and smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to the the op:

your mama didn't give you very good advice if you expect to live in the world with other people who don't just stand in front of you and hold up a mirror and smile.

Huh?? This doesn't even make sense...

[Anonymous]

Caring for 2 babies at the same time sounds overwhelming. Some moms might be better at it, esp. if your babies are easy going. I think I would go insane. More power to those with twins!

[Anonymous]

Great post 11:18. I think people with singletons should NOT judge. Shit, I have two kids three years apart and yearn for my prebaby years. Does that make me a bad mom? NO! It makes me honest! I love my kids and I also fantasize about reading the Sunday post in bed with coffee after great sex with husband. Those two aspects of my personality can exist, peaceably I might add!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I'm the mom who recently created the thread about needing support re: my decision to have only one child. WHile I haven't decided yet, fate may decide it for me due to my recent miscarriages and fertility issues. That being said, I don't blame you for being honest about how you sometimes feel. Having twins must be so overwhelming in all areas of your life -- financial, lack of "me" time, stress, etc... I don't believe there's a single mom out there, no matter how many children she has, who doesn't have times where she longs for her child-free days (even if it's just for a fleeting moment). I'll never forget driving through Adams Morgan by myself on a Sunday morning several weeks after my DS was born and crying because I was so jealous of the young childless people strolling leisurely on their way to brunch, sipping lattes outside Starbucks while reading the paper, or walking on their way to or from yoga class. The grass is truly always greener. When I did my last round of IVF we put back two embryos and I prayed to God we wouldn't wind up pregnant with twins. We wound up pregnant with a singleton that I later miscarried. So, I guess what I'm saying is, don't let the women on this board, who apparently can't even be honest with themselves, make you feel bad for how you sometimes feel. No one is supermom every second of the day, and motherhood is not always what we imagined it would be. It doesn't mean you love your children any less or are a bad person. You're just an honest person. And probably also a great mom because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to the the op:

your mama didn't give you very good advice if you expect to live in the world with other people who don't just stand in front of you and hold up a mirror and smile.

This is just obnoxious. The OP is clearly not asking for everyone to agree with her, but instead is seeking some compassion and support and perspective. If you don't have anything useful to say, why don't you check out TMZ or People.com, and stay off this board.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the mom of 14 month old twins. I can understand how you feel. Having twins is A LOT hard work. It's even harder if you don't have a support system or time for yourself.

Is there anyway to have the nanny stay later or come on a weekend so you and DH can have some time alone...or you have some time alone???

As far as vacations...that time will come. We haven't had one either but I figure it might be a waste of time (right now) considering we can't even get through a dinner at a restaurant.

To the PP, who wrote about breastfeeding two babies, having one roll away, siblings chewing on each other.....have you been looking through my windows??

[Anonymous]

OP, you're great. And OP supporters, you're great too. I come to DCUM to get support for the often thankless job of motherhood.

So here's a shout out to all the nice moms who stood up for OP when the nasties started in on her.

OP, I suggest a beach trip. Bethany is good, close, and cheap. Rent a small condo at Sea Colony.

And get a cheap local teenager ($8 an hour, not $15) to regularly help you take some time with hubby on weekends or evenings.

Your boys are at a rotten age. Just power through. you can do it.