DW Does this Sh*t All the Time

[Anonymous]

OP, do you and your wife share a car?

Could your daughter have a schoolmate come pick her up and take her to school?

[Anonymous]

I still want to know why she couldn't take their daughter to school. Her own doctor's appointment? taking someone else like her cancer-stricken parent to chemo? Getting her nails done? Context is everything here.

If this is a regularly occurring thing, whether legitimate or not, you have to find a solution. I'd start with your daughter. Does she have any friends nearby who could pick her up and take her with little notice? I'd put that in place. Cab money available. Other relative who could help out. It's not unusual for working parents to need to coordinate back up plans for kids. It's a little unusual that a SAHP needs to, but there could be extenuating circumstances.

Whatever is running deeper than the crisis of the moment needs to be addressed separately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a really mean person. So vitriolic. Threatening divorce because of this?

You realize that your behavior towards your wife is setting up the example for the kind of husband your daughter will marry? One who regularly (?) puts his work before his family, who probably tell his wife regularly how much he appreciates what she does for the family, one who spews contempt at his wife when she clearly needs your affection and support.

No, I would not divorce over this. I would divorce over DW continually doing stuff like this.

My DD would be lucky to get someone like me! I come from a long line of excellent husbands and fathers. Unfortunately, I think I married the wrong woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still want to know why she couldn't take their daughter to school. Her own doctor's appointment? taking someone else like her cancer-stricken parent to chemo? Getting her nails done? Context is everything here.

If this is a regularly occurring thing, whether legitimate or not, you have to find a solution. I'd start with your daughter. Does she have any friends nearby who could pick her up and take her with little notice? I'd put that in place. Cab money available. Other relative who could help out. It's not unusual for working parents to need to coordinate back up plans for kids. It's a little unusual that a SAHP needs to, but there could be extenuating circumstances.

Whatever is running deeper than the crisis of the moment needs to be addressed separately.

If she had something pressing like above, getting nails done excepted, she needed to tell me that. However simply announcing that I need to take my DD to school on a day where she ALREADY knew that I could not simply to throw down a challenge to me is not acceptable. Believe me people, there are people who will do crazy sh*t for no reason other than to create chaos. It makes them feel alive.

[Anonymous]

But the underlying issue is DW is NPD/BPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a really mean person. So vitriolic. Threatening divorce because of this?

You realize that your behavior towards your wife is setting up the example for the kind of husband your daughter will marry? One who regularly (?) puts his work before his family, who probably tell his wife regularly how much he appreciates what she does for the family, one who spews contempt at his wife when she clearly needs your affection and support.

No, I would not divorce over this. I would divorce over DW continually doing stuff like this.

My DD would be lucky to get someone like me! I come from a long line of excellent husbands and fathers. Unfortunately, I think I married the wrong woman.

Do you have other children, or just the 16 yo DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still want to know why she couldn't take their daughter to school. Her own doctor's appointment? taking someone else like her cancer-stricken parent to chemo? Getting her nails done? Context is everything here.

If this is a regularly occurring thing, whether legitimate or not, you have to find a solution. I'd start with your daughter. Does she have any friends nearby who could pick her up and take her with little notice? I'd put that in place. Cab money available. Other relative who could help out. It's not unusual for working parents to need to coordinate back up plans for kids. It's a little unusual that a SAHP needs to, but there could be extenuating circumstances.

Whatever is running deeper than the crisis of the moment needs to be addressed separately.

If she had something pressing like above, getting nails done excepted, she needed to tell me that. However simply announcing that I need to take my DD to school on a day where she ALREADY knew that I could not simply to throw down a challenge to me is not acceptable. Believe me people, there are people who will do crazy sh*t for no reason other than to create chaos. It makes them feel alive.

OK, then, don't respond with chaos.

Who took the kid to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:F counseling. Get a divorce. You and your daughter deserve better.

I always put my husband first. Why ? Because he brought home the money, money that kept us fed, clothed and living well. There is no excuse for a SAHM to shirk her obligations.

God I hate lazy entitled women.

+1 and I SAH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still want to know why she couldn't take their daughter to school. Her own doctor's appointment? taking someone else like her cancer-stricken parent to chemo? Getting her nails done? Context is everything here.

If this is a regularly occurring thing, whether legitimate or not, you have to find a solution. I'd start with your daughter. Does she have any friends nearby who could pick her up and take her with little notice? I'd put that in place. Cab money available. Other relative who could help out. It's not unusual for working parents to need to coordinate back up plans for kids. It's a little unusual that a SAHP needs to, but there could be extenuating circumstances.

Whatever is running deeper than the crisis of the moment needs to be addressed separately.

If she had something pressing like above, getting nails done excepted, she needed to tell me that. However simply announcing that I need to take my DD to school on a day where she ALREADY knew that I could not simply to throw down a challenge to me is not acceptable. Believe me people, there are people who will do crazy sh*t for no reason other than to create chaos. It makes them feel alive.

Well, if you didn't know this about her before you do now. You need to arrange for a back up plan to get your daughter to school in the morning. Poor kid..

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for your DD. She clearly feels bad for herself too but at least she stood up for herself.

next time, just tell your dw "sure" when she asks and the arrange for a ride for your DD separately.

[Anonymous]

See here is the thing. She did not ask. She demanded.

[Anonymous]

ignore the nagging misandristic shrews here - they've got nothing in their own lives worth living for an simply beat down on any man for any reason.

man up this weekend- sit down have a heart-to-heat about what's going on in the marriage. suggest counseling or whatever but the passive-aggressive approach and what you've been doing 'til now are not the answers.

and kudos to the few women PPs who can see the issue is the wife.

to the other hags you are so full of shit - if this had been a DW posting about her DH, you'd all be clamoring that she divorce him. so STFU and go find some other outlet.

[Anonymous]

:0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like a really mean person. So vitriolic. Threatening divorce because of this?

You realize that your behavior towards your wife is setting up the example for the kind of husband your daughter will marry? One who regularly (?) puts his work before his family, who probably tell his wife regularly how much he appreciates what she does for the family, one who spews contempt at his wife when she clearly needs your affection and support.

No, I would not divorce over this. I would divorce over DW continually doing stuff like this.

My DD would be lucky to get someone like me! I come from a long line of excellent husbands and fathers. Unfortunately, I think I married the wrong woman.

Do you have other children, or just the 16 yo DD?

And, if it's only the 16 yo daughter, WTH is your wife doing still being a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

You getting mad is exactly what she wants and needs. No advice but sorry to hear you are married to a "crazy maker." It's hard to function with people like that, OP.