DW Does this Sh*t All the Time

[Anonymous]

OP -- step away from the divorce button. Terrible for your daughter.

Please try to work through this. Maybe counseling. Maybe just setting some serious boundaries with your wife who sounds like she is going stir-crazy at home and creating drama.

You are in a tough situation b/c if you get divorced it will be very costly and you may lose custody of your daughter, so at least try to hang in there until she graduates.

Have you ever read Cesar Milan re: dog training? Please do. Your wife needs some of these boundaries -- when she erupts and you react, you are giving her what she wants -- attention and power. Just like you don't reward a dog with attention and treats when he jumps on you or misbehaves, do not reward your wife when she misbehaves. And engaging and giving her a reaction is what she wants.

Unfortunately you are going to have to treat her like a toddler/dog (in a loving but firm manner) because of he behavior.

And yes, when I was a SAHM it was part of my job to take the kids to school and pick them unless I was too sick to do so.

[Anonymous]

I was married to an NPD spouse who would pull sh*t like this all the time. She would do it just to show that she was boss and that everyone needed to kowtow to her needs. If you haven't BTDT, you are in no position to judge.

And yes, the behaviors such people display can make you angry, frustrated, etc., because they are far beyond the pale of normal adult behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP both you and your wife sound self-centered and immature. Your daughter should dump you both and move in with a kindly relative.

Blunt. But....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an ass. Ok. So you are far more important than your wife. We get it. Go tell a judge. You get huge child support and alimony and every other weekend visits. You said you are too busy to take your kid to school. So, how would parenting without her be?

Now, if I were you, I would say you are sorry and do something nice for her given all the hours you are working.

You are the ass. DW needs to man the fuck up and take care if the kid she quit her job to raise. Bitch needs to learn to respect the paycheck that feeds her. If she were WOHM, that's one thing but OP is justified in being pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an ass. Ok. So you are far more important than your wife. We get it. Go tell a judge. You get huge child support and alimony and every other weekend visits. You said you are too busy to take your kid to school. So, how would parenting without her be?

Now, if I were you, I would say you are sorry and do something nice for her given all the hours you are working.

You are the ass. DW needs to man the fuck up and take care if the kid she quit her job to raise. Bitch needs to learn to respect the paycheck that feeds her. If she were WOHM, that's one thing but OP is justified in being pissed.

I'm sure she does respect the paycheck. She just doesn't respect the man who brings it home, and it sounds like with good reason.

[Anonymous]

My DH essentially forced me to sah leaving a professional career where we earned the same. Why? Bc we were both working insane hours and nobody saw the children. I have a baby and 5yr old. Honestly DH is still at it with the long hours and I feel like the maid. He's never home for dinners. Bedtime, couple time. I resent him. In addition he sleeps in all weekend and I have no time to even start looking for a job again. We do fight bc of this. It's temporary and in the p next year a I want changes. Is it possible you undervalue your wife? Are working more than you realize? Don't give her a break? T. Be honest if I had A 16yr old I'd be back at work. But I'm not sure, maybe she's been laid off and can't find employment. Even when DH and I fight, and they can be bad bc DH truly believes I have it so easy, we make a point it to talk it thru and that helps. His understanding helps. We are where we are right now and I am doing this for the kids, but dammit it's hard to be home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH essentially forced me to sah leaving a professional career where we earned the same. Why? Bc we were both working insane hours and nobody saw the children. I have a baby and 5yr old. Honestly DH is still at it with the long hours and I feel like the maid. He's never home for dinners. Bedtime, couple time. I resent him. In addition he sleeps in all weekend and I have no time to even start looking for a job again. We do fight bc of this. It's temporary and in the p next year a I want changes. Is it possible you undervalue your wife? Are working more than you realize? Don't give her a break? T. Be honest if I had A 16yr old I'd be back at work. But I'm not sure, maybe she's been laid off and can't find employment. Even when DH and I fight, and they can be bad bc DH truly believes I have it so easy, we make a point it to talk it thru and that helps. His understanding helps. We are where we are right now and I am doing this for the kids, but dammit it's hard to be home.

It's tough being the sole breadwinner in this economy and job market where everyone is just out to make as much money for themselves before things go totally to hell. Every day it's a "remind me why we keep you around," "we want revenues up X% next year," atmosphere. So, yeah, if that's what you deal with every day you might expect a SAHM to delay her fucking manicure or spin class until she's dropped off the kid at a school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an ass. Ok. So you are far more important than your wife. We get it. Go tell a judge. You get huge child support and alimony and every other weekend visits. You said you are too busy to take your kid to school. So, how would parenting without her be?

Now, if I were you, I would say you are sorry and do something nice for her given all the hours you are working.

He is not an " ass". That's his wife. He works, pays all the bills and she stays at home. What the hell is so important that she can't take her child to school? She needs to realize that her husband is the sole provider and needs to work. She clearly is just lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH essentially forced me to sah leaving a professional career where we earned the same. Why? Bc we were both working insane hours and nobody saw the children. I have a baby and 5yr old. Honestly DH is still at it with the long hours and I feel like the maid. He's never home for dinners. Bedtime, couple time. I resent him. In addition he sleeps in all weekend and I have no time to even start looking for a job again. We do fight bc of this. It's temporary and in the p next year a I want changes. Is it possible you undervalue your wife? Are working more than you realize? Don't give her a break? T. Be honest if I had A 16yr old I'd be back at work. But I'm not sure, maybe she's been laid off and can't find employment. Even when DH and I fight, and they can be bad bc DH truly believes I have it so easy, we make a point it to talk it thru and that helps. His understanding helps. We are where we are right now and I am doing this for the kids, but dammit it's hard to be home.

It's tough being the sole breadwinner in this economy and job market where everyone is just out to make as much money for themselves before things go totally to hell. Every day it's a "remind me why we keep you around," "we want revenues up X% next year," atmosphere. So, yeah, if that's what you deal with every day you might expect a SAHM to delay her fucking manicure or spin class until she's dropped off the kid at a school.

I don't know if the PP is a man or woman, but it's a lot harder to run a household and be at home than just a "fucking manicure or spin class." I've worked as a professional in a demanding job and I've stayed at home and they each have their challenges and rewards. Denigrating a SAHM and not appreciating all that is done for you and others (do you have clean underwear? Food? Sheets on your bed? etc) is not helpful. Raising a teenager is also not a cake walk. One of the challenges of SAHM is that no one sees or acknowledges what you do and thinks you eat Bon bons all day. It can also be very isolating. There are lots of issues, but the bottom line is not to put people down and assume all she does is get manicures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH essentially forced me to sah leaving a professional career where we earned the same. Why? Bc we were both working insane hours and nobody saw the children. I have a baby and 5yr old. Honestly DH is still at it with the long hours and I feel like the maid. He's never home for dinners. Bedtime, couple time. I resent him. In addition he sleeps in all weekend and I have no time to even start looking for a job again. We do fight bc of this. It's temporary and in the p next year a I want changes. Is it possible you undervalue your wife? Are working more than you realize? Don't give her a break? T. Be honest if I had A 16yr old I'd be back at work. But I'm not sure, maybe she's been laid off and can't find employment. Even when DH and I fight, and they can be bad bc DH truly believes I have it so easy, we make a point it to talk it thru and that helps. His understanding helps. We are where we are right now and I am doing this for the kids, but dammit it's hard to be home.

It's tough being the sole breadwinner in this economy and job market where everyone is just out to make as much money for themselves before things go totally to hell. Every day it's a "remind me why we keep you around," "we want revenues up X% next year," atmosphere. So, yeah, if that's what you deal with every day you might expect a SAHM to delay her fucking manicure or spin class until she's dropped off the kid at a school.

I don't know if the PP is a man or woman, but it's a lot harder to run a household and be at home than just a "fucking manicure or spin class." I've worked as a professional in a demanding job and I've stayed at home and they each have their challenges and rewards. Denigrating a SAHM and not appreciating all that is done for you and others (do you have clean underwear? Food? Sheets on your bed? etc) is not helpful. Raising a teenager is also not a cake walk. One of the challenges of SAHM is that no one sees or acknowledges what you do and thinks you eat Bon bons all day. It can also be very isolating. There are lots of issues, but the bottom line is not to put people down and assume all she does is get manicures.

Save it for Dr. Phil , OK. The guy is talking about a SAHM spouse who wouldn't bother to accomplish a basic parenting task because she wants to play mind games. Women who decide to be SAHMs and then decide it's too isolating should either go back to work or STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" I work for a Fed agency in the international department. We are the lead on the U.S. relationship with a major world power. This week we had Ministerial level meetings in Washington."

Newsflash, everyone in DC thinks they are important. I doubt the cruise missile launch will happen if you don't fill out the excel spreadsheet and form sitting on your desk.

Your ego is way over inflated. You need to probably take another job and calm down. I would be pissed at you if this was your attitude all around.

This is why our area is full of asshiles everyone thinks they are impotent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" I work for a Fed agency in the international department. We are the lead on the U.S. relationship with a major world power. This week we had Ministerial level meetings in Washington."

Newsflash, everyone in DC thinks they are important. I doubt the cruise missile launch will happen if you don't fill out the excel spreadsheet and form sitting on your desk.

Your ego is way over inflated. You need to probably take another job and calm down. I would be pissed at you if this was your attitude all around.

This is why our area is full of asshiles everyone thinks they are impotent.

His DW is making him feel impotent....

Where would they all be if OP was fired because he couldn't make it to important meetings (because he was taking is DD to school instead of his DW)? She is sabotaging him and shooting herself in the foot in the process, and the only thing stopping her is OP not taking her threat at face value.

[Anonymous]

Get a caregiver to do these things so you can cut your wife out of the loop. Get a nanny. Coordinate all childcare with nanny and prepare to take custody. Document all incidents wife causes. Talk to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH essentially forced me to sah leaving a professional career where we earned the same. Why? Bc we were both working insane hours and nobody saw the children. I have a baby and 5yr old. Honestly DH is still at it with the long hours and I feel like the maid. He's never home for dinners. Bedtime, couple time. I resent him. In addition he sleeps in all weekend and I have no time to even start looking for a job again. We do fight bc of this. It's temporary and in the p next year a I want changes. Is it possible you undervalue your wife? Are working more than you realize? Don't give her a break? T. Be honest if I had A 16yr old I'd be back at work. But I'm not sure, maybe she's been laid off and can't find employment. Even when DH and I fight, and they can be bad bc DH truly believes I have it so easy, we make a point it to talk it thru and that helps. His understanding helps. We are where we are right now and I am doing this for the kids, but dammit it's hard to be home.

It's tough being the sole breadwinner in this economy and job market where everyone is just out to make as much money for themselves before things go totally to hell. Every day it's a "remind me why we keep you around," "we want revenues up X% next year," atmosphere. So, yeah, if that's what you deal with every day you might expect a SAHM to delay her fucking manicure or spin class until she's dropped off the kid at a school.

I don't know if the PP is a man or woman, but it's a lot harder to run a household and be at home than just a "fucking manicure or spin class." I've worked as a professional in a demanding job and I've stayed at home and they each have their challenges and rewards. Denigrating a SAHM and not appreciating all that is done for you and others (do you have clean underwear? Food? Sheets on your bed? etc) is not helpful. Raising a teenager is also not a cake walk. One of the challenges of SAHM is that no one sees or acknowledges what you do and thinks you eat Bon bons all day. It can also be very isolating. There are lots of issues, but the bottom line is not to put people down and assume all she does is get manicures.

Save it for Dr. Phil , OK. The guy is talking about a SAHM spouse who wouldn't bother to accomplish a basic parenting task because she wants to play mind games. Women who decide to be SAHMs and then decide it's too isolating should either go back to work or STFU.

You need therapy. Who gets this upset over an anonymous post, and generalizes to such an unhealthy degree? You seriously need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH essentially forced me to sah leaving a professional career where we earned the same. Why? Bc we were both working insane hours and nobody saw the children. I have a baby and 5yr old. Honestly DH is still at it with the long hours and I feel like the maid. He's never home for dinners. Bedtime, couple time. I resent him. In addition he sleeps in all weekend and I have no time to even start looking for a job again. We do fight bc of this. It's temporary and in the p next year a I want changes. Is it possible you undervalue your wife? Are working more than you realize? Don't give her a break? T. Be honest if I had A 16yr old I'd be back at work. But I'm not sure, maybe she's been laid off and can't find employment. Even when DH and I fight, and they can be bad bc DH truly believes I have it so easy, we make a point it to talk it thru and that helps. His understanding helps. We are where we are right now and I am doing this for the kids, but dammit it's hard to be home.

It's tough being the sole breadwinner in this economy and job market where everyone is just out to make as much money for themselves before things go totally to hell. Every day it's a "remind me why we keep you around," "we want revenues up X% next year," atmosphere. So, yeah, if that's what you deal with every day you might expect a SAHM to delay her fucking manicure or spin class until she's dropped off the kid at a school.

I don't know if the PP is a man or woman, but it's a lot harder to run a household and be at home than just a "fucking manicure or spin class." I've worked as a professional in a demanding job and I've stayed at home and they each have their challenges and rewards. Denigrating a SAHM and not appreciating all that is done for you and others (do you have clean underwear? Food? Sheets on your bed? etc) is not helpful. Raising a teenager is also not a cake walk. One of the challenges of SAHM is that no one sees or acknowledges what you do and thinks you eat Bon bons all day. It can also be very isolating. There are lots of issues, but the bottom line is not to put people down and assume all she does is get manicures.

Save it for Dr. Phil , OK. The guy is talking about a SAHM spouse who wouldn't bother to accomplish a basic parenting task because she wants to play mind games. Women who decide to be SAHMs and then decide it's too isolating should either go back to work or STFU.

I don't know what "save it for Dr Phil" means but from the tone of your comment I assume it's an insult. Given the facts the OP presented I agree that the SAHM should have taken the DD to school.
However, the person who posted about how important "the sole breadwinner" is and then seriously denigrated SAHMs by referring to a "fucking manicure" is a sexist jerk who clearly is clueless about the challenges related to running a household and raising kids (including teenagers). This denigration and attitude could be a factor in OPs dysfunctional marriage, although none of us really know.