Afraid of leaving DC for the burbs bc think I'll lose my whole social circle. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

friends come and go but herpes is forever

[Anonymous]

It will impact your social circle. No doubt about that. But, since your kids are growing...there is a good chance that life will continue to be busy and you will lose some of your social circle anyways.

[Anonymous]

The short answer is: yes. You will still be friends but going out will need much more planning than now. Also, someone dropping in for coffee or a drink will not be an option. And yes, your friends will think that you live too far away. You'll be able to get them to visit you for planned things as well: dinners, BBQ that are planned well in advance. So yes, it will affect your friendships.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. We moved from DuPont to Tenley town and this is how we felt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends. Can you trade a livable, walkable city neighborhood for an hour drive to the store, keg parties, gun racks and WMI wingnuts?

No kidding, here's the Western MD Initiative FB page: https://www.facebook.com/FreeWesternMaryland

what does this have to do with the dc suburbs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will lose your social circle. Meaning, your acquaintances who are based on convenience, location, ease of getting together will naturally fall away. That only makes sense. In addition, there are plenty of DC people who will scoff at you for moving to the burbs - makes no difference if it is CCDC, Bethesda, Arlington, etc. They will turn on you for going burn. The question for you is whether you care. You are at a point in life where you need to do what is best for your family. You will most likely wind up in the burbs like so many before you. And, guess what? You will become friends with these people and they will be your new circle.
All that said, it was surprising and disappointing when we moved about 4 miles from DC into MD and people acted like we were moving to Kansas. Some still take every opportunity to mention how "far" out we are and ask about our 'hood like it is mars. Weird DC behavior.

Really?! I guess I must have a very different definition of friendship than a lot of people on here. I guess that might also be why I don't 100% understand the overwhelming sentiment that DC is full of cold people or that its a hard place to make friends. The friends I have made here in the last 12 years are a really wonderful group- it would not ever occur to anyone to define our friendships by where a person can afford real estate!

[Anonymous]

We moved from DC to ASHBURN! YES ASHBURN! We both work in Reston, so it was a huge improvement in our commute. One of our good friends move from capitol hill LEESBURG! The HORRORS!

We do not see many of our friends unless we make a hurculean effort, since we work out here and there really is no need for us to go even as far east as Tysons.

However, our circle of friends has expanded so much. We were already a young family (by DC standards having kids in our late 20s) and it is so nice to be around a bunch of young families with young kids. No offense to anyone on here, but it's cool to be able to hang out with people our own age. We have met so many people through our kids and spend a lot of time over at people's homes. As a matter of fact once a month we take our neighbors kids overnight on a Saturday and vice versa so the adults can have a night out and the kids and have a sleep over with their friends. It is such a community of young people and so many of them are transplants from DC proper or inside the beltway.

So no, we have not lost our friends, but we do have a ton of new friends. We are even heading to the OBX this summer with 3 other families and renting a house…for us it's been that kind of experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from DC to ASHBURN! YES ASHBURN! We both work in Reston, so it was a huge improvement in our commute. One of our good friends move from capitol hill LEESBURG! The HORRORS!

We do not see many of our friends unless we make a hurculean effort, since we work out here and there really is no need for us to go even as far east as Tysons.

However, our circle of friends has expanded so much. We were already a young family (by DC standards having kids in our late 20s) and it is so nice to be around a bunch of young families with young kids. No offense to anyone on here, but it's cool to be able to hang out with people our own age. We have met so many people through our kids and spend a lot of time over at people's homes. As a matter of fact once a month we take our neighbors kids overnight on a Saturday and vice versa so the adults can have a night out and the kids and have a sleep over with their friends. It is such a community of young people and so many of them are transplants from DC proper or inside the beltway.

So no, we have not lost our friends, but we do have a ton of new friends. We are even heading to the OBX this summer with 3 other families and renting a house…for us it's been that kind of experience.

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/white-reindeer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's my story - have lived in DC almost ten years, all of it in Dupont Circle. DH and I both are at work in under 30 minutes. We now have 2 kids, one in a good public elementary school, one not in school yet. We are currently renting a "big enough" apartment and really like DC's school but it's not what I want forever. I can't afford a house in my current neighborhood and probably wouldn't want one because our middle school and high school options are bad and we can't afford/aren't interested in private school. What I want is a nice, normal house with a yard in a good neighborhood with good public schools that does not give me or DH a long commute (both downtown). That's probably not doable on my budget ($800,000ish).

So, that means I probably have to go to the close in suburbs, maybe even farther out ones. Here's my big concern - do I have to completely remake my social life? Most of my friends live in the district - Chevy Chase DC is about as far as anyone is from me. Several on Capitol Hill. Have tons of friends in my neighborhood and love going out to dinner with them (am in walking distance to all the restaurants on 14th street). DH has more friends in the burbs than I do but most of them are in Virginia and when I go out there, it seems far. My DC friends all complain about having to leave the district for anything.

I am honestly not trying to start a war about whether DC, MD, or VA is better - I just want to hear from people who have left DC about whether they had to make all new friends in the new location, whether MD or VA. Thanks.

This was just us a year ago and in general I will say yes, you basically do. At least for the "see them once or more a week" kind of friends. Not even because DC people "don't want to come to the burbs" (though you'll find some of that) but because, other than weekends, it's just not really practical. Especially if said friends work in the District like most of ours do -- either I have pick up my kids in VA and then make my way to the city or they're doing the reverse (with rush hour traffic mind you). And as kids get older and have more commitments on the weekends it's even less feasible. One of the ways we often saw our friends was because of sports practice and games, when you move you'll be on different teams so you don't even have that (but can with new friends).

It's a little sad and not what you were looking to hear I'm sure but it has been our experience. And we were in DC longer than you (FWIW). It's not that we aren't friends with our DC friends anymore, it's just that we only see them occasionally. Life takes over, it happens.

This was EXACTLY our experience. And it is a little sad, but we've made new friends, too, and honestly almost everything else about our move has been positive, so I have made my peace.

We are in Arlington FWIW.

I am the poster you were quoting an we are in Arlington too Agree with you that EVERYTHING else about our move has been super positive. Love our neighborhood, kids have made great friends (they are far more resilient than us as I think we all know) and we now have neighbors who know where our extra key is, who look our for and hold onto packages that arrive when we're out of town and who we have a lot of fun sitting around drinking with while the kids run crazy around the neighborhood!!