Afraid of leaving DC for the burbs bc think I'll lose my whole social circle. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op-- we moved to a close-in, walkable neighborhood.

Now- i don't want to drive or metro anywhere. It is just so convenient (especially when you are drinking) to keep it local.

You may find that YOU are the one that changes. You might find that going into the city seems like a hassle and be just like the people that find coming into VA a hassle.

I now think of going 10-15 miles---as a long trip. I hate getting in my car.

That said--for good friends--we BOTH take the hit. One of the benefits of my move is I now have a great spare bedroom off a rec room that dc friends and family have been known to crash and then do brunch in the morning.

You can't build your life around others because one day they may decide to up and move.

What happened during your childhood that you hate cars? Cars not inanimate objects. You should seek help for that fear.

I was stuck in the fucking suburbs and bored off my ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP - thanks, all! What I want to know is how I can find a house on a street with young families and block parties and great new friends like a couple of the PPs. Either of you want to post your neighborhood? And the PP who said that I'll still see the good friends and the peripheral ones will fade is wise and I'm sure that's true. It just seems like such a massive change that I'm not sure I'm ready for yet. But I know I need to do it in the near future.

Are you all happier in your new houses with space and a yard? Any regrets?

SFH neighborhoods in walkable areas tend to attract social people. Higher density causes more interaction. Throw in a good public school and it will be teeming with families that wanted a little more yard than a rowhouse provides.

We were thrilled with our new house and yard (not too big that yardwork isn't a big deal). Kids go to the park a lot. Having a place where guests could park (I still need to give them parking hangers) but they aren't circling around the neighborhood for a 1/2 hour looking for a spot--is fabulous.

We have more to walk to now than I did before and I was in an active part of NW. Metro and all amenities (gyms, grocerys, bars, restaurants, parks, movie theather, drycleaners, coffee shops, some retail, hair salons, oil changes (means a lot when you can walk home after dropping it off), dentist, nail salons, massage center, etc., etc. are all within a few blocks...yet the neighborhood itself manages to retain some of suburbia.

Not the OP but what neighborhood is this? Do people have recs for good close-in neighborhoods that are friendly and social?

[Anonymous]

This was a big fear that I used to have before my friends and I started having kids, but now- it just seems kind of crazy to me to expect that all of my friends will always live in a 4 mile radius from my home. Some actually do, but most don't.

Because my friends here are once I've had since we were in our younger/ single/ out all the time days, the base was there to continue making an effort, yes even if that means being in a car for 25-30 minutes to get to each other. I think you would be surprised how it seems silly to live in a tiny radius (work, social, home) once you actually move. I've seen this with friends in NYC a LOT too. Seems like a million miles away to be in a different neighborhood, yet you don't sever ties because of an extra 15 minutes on the subway!

[Anonymous]

We made the move. We do the drive to DC friends. We're in Siberia according to them, but we do the commute for work everyday, so I guess the drive just doesn't seem like a big deal to us. Also (and maybe really related) -- I like driving and maps and knowing where things are, etc, so I never did the "oh i hate VA or MD" or whatever, in terms of driving. But I'm from Montana, where the women are men and the men are moose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op-- we moved to a close-in, walkable neighborhood.

Now- i don't want to drive or metro anywhere. It is just so convenient (especially when you are drinking) to keep it local.

You may find that YOU are the one that changes. You might find that going into the city seems like a hassle and be just like the people that find coming into VA a hassle.

I now think of going 10-15 miles---as a long trip. I hate getting in my car.

That said--for good friends--we BOTH take the hit. One of the benefits of my move is I now have a great spare bedroom off a rec room that dc friends and family have been known to crash and then do brunch in the morning.

You can't build your life around others because one day they may decide to up and move.

What happened during your childhood that you hate cars? Cars not inanimate objects. You should seek help for that fear.

Except they are. Inanimate, I mean.

[Anonymous]

Are they good friends or just friendly acquaintances? You won't lose good friends.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you will almost certainly see your current friends much less often. You will probably also make great new friends. If you don't actually want to leave the city, though I don't think you have to. Our house on Capitol Hill has 3 beds, two baths, and a yard, and it would sell for way less than 800,000.Our kids go to a great public school and we walk/bike everywhere. I'm sure there are other neighborhoods like this, too, within the city.

[Anonymous]

OP, I haven't moved from DC out, but where I used to live before moving to the DC area, the social life was centered around school families (has to do with the geography/traffic)

I have moved my to another school, right down the street, and wouldn't you know it, my social circle changed even though we had the same house.

It's not so bad, OP. What's great about the situation is it creates a sieve where only your true friends stay with you. Meanwhile you pick up another set of friends.

Now as a tangent, we live in N. Arlington and it's super-close, IMO, time-wise as long as not in peak traffic. And the metro is easy too.

Final thought for staying in your area…I don't know about real estate out here, so this may not work. Where I'm from, at one time I considered buying two condos next to each other, and breaking down the interior wall (or part of the interior wall). Then I could have had a large place, basically have everything but the yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven't moved from DC out, but where I used to live before moving to the DC area, the social life was centered around school families (has to do with the geography/traffic)

I have moved my to another school, right down the street, and wouldn't you know it, my social circle changed even though we had the same house.

It's not so bad, OP. What's great about the situation is it creates a sieve where only your true friends stay with you. Meanwhile you pick up another set of friends.

Now as a tangent, we live in N. Arlington and it's super-close, IMO, time-wise as long as not in peak traffic. And the metro is easy too.

Final thought for staying in your area…I don't know about real estate out here, so this may not work. Where I'm from, at one time I considered buying two condos next to each other, and breaking down the interior wall (or part of the interior wall). Then I could have had a large place, basically have everything but the yard.

We wanted to do that with two small rowhomes in Georgetown--but good God-- the historic preservation wouldn't budge (which of course is one of the reasons I love Georgetown).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you will almost certainly see your current friends much less often. You will probably also make great new friends. If you don't actually want to leave the city, though I don't think you have to. Our house on Capitol Hill has 3 beds, two baths, and a yard, and it would sell for way less than 800,000.Our kids go to a great public school and we walk/bike everywhere. I'm sure there are other neighborhoods like this, too, within the city.

She said she was concerned about middle school and high school and didn't want to go private. I live on the Hill too and love it but unfortunately we don't have that part figured out yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP - thanks, all! What I want to know is how I can find a house on a street with young families and block parties and great new friends like a couple of the PPs. Either of you want to post your neighborhood? And the PP who said that I'll still see the good friends and the peripheral ones will fade is wise and I'm sure that's true. It just seems like such a massive change that I'm not sure I'm ready for yet. But I know I need to do it in the near future.

Are you all happier in your new houses with space and a yard? Any regrets?

Lots of neighborhoods in Takoma Park, MD will fit your requirements nicely. And your housing budget can get you a nice sized house in walking distance to the metro, the downtown area and the local elementary school. Jeff Black's newest restaurant just opened and is wonderful and Busboys and Poets is coming soon!

[Anonymous]

We moved from DC, and yes, eventually, we lost our friends in DC. We made lots of new ones though. So, it all evens out.

You live in Dupont and still commute 30 minutes? We're in Vienna and it takes me 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from DC, and yes, eventually, we lost our friends in DC. We made lots of new ones though. So, it all evens out.

You live in Dupont and still commute 30 minutes? We're in Vienna and it takes me 30.

Uh-huh. Sure.

[Anonymous]

OP, I just made this move, and this is definitely an issue. Especially as we moved to (gasp) PG - a few of my 'cooler' friendly acquaintances turned up their noses. I haven't made many new friends here yet. It's not awesome. Good for you for thinking of this in advance, I was taken by surprise.

[Anonymous]

You must know a lot of jerks.