BIL-SIL sucking all the fun out of Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't a Christian but you want to celebrate Christmas. Sorry that makes no sense.

Anyway, people have different beliefs on how Christmas should be celebrated. Just celebrate it your way at your home.

You are apparently very ignorant as to the origins of Christmas. My family does NOT celebrate Christmas because the ARE strict Christians. They know that Christmas, Christmas trees, etc. are really a Pagan celebration that Christians ursuped. Same thing with Easter, Easter eggs, etc.

Sheeple.

I am well aware of those pagan traiditions. However Christmas has always been used to celebrate the birth of Christ.

What you are referring to was called the Winter Solstice. Which is not a holiday in the U.S. the last time I checked.

NP here (well kind of). Christ was actually born in September. It wasn't until the 4th century that the Christians started celebrating it on December 25th (to 'replace' the Pagan Winter Solstice and the birth of the Sun God) It starts on December 25th because that was when days started getting longer. Many of the typical traditions (evergreen tree, Yule log, Poinsettia, wreaths, colors- red, green, white, gold) were all 'borrowed' from the Pagans. Heck, even Egg Nog is Pagan. Christmas means different things to different people- it can be a celebration of family. Just because people don't happen to agree with YOUR meaning (celebration of the birth of Christ- who as I mentioned earlier was actually born in September) doesn't mean it is wrong for them. My husband celebrates Christmas and he is not Christian. Open your mind.

Good for you. But you can't close your mind when Christians want to celebrate Christmas in a religious manner. Perhaps you need to open your mind. I understand that consumerism has taken over Christmas for many people, but it's not about that for everyone. If OP doesn't like the way her family does it then she should break off and do her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the responses would be any different if OP were Christian and referring to another religion's holiday. Ex: I am not Jewish but my Jewish BIL and SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Hanukah for me and my kids. I just want to focus on the presents but those old stick in the muds are making it about service and religion. Or I am not Muslim but my Muslim BIL/SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Ramadan for me and my kids...you get the picture.

I thought about this, but I don't think it is a valid analogy because those other holidays have not become a near-universal part of American culture the way that Christmas has. I see an agnostic celebrating Christmas as more analogous to an expat living in the US celebrating Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July. There is a reason we don't all get the day off of work for Rosh Hashanah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the responses would be any different if OP were Christian and referring to another religion's holiday. Ex: I am not Jewish but my Jewish BIL and SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Hanukah for me and my kids. I just want to focus on the presents but those old stick in the muds are making it about service and religion. Or I am not Muslim but my Muslim BIL/SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Ramadan for me and my kids...you get the picture.

I think if people tried to celebrate other religious holidays like a joke it would considered offensive. I have many Muslim family members and would never dream of making any of there holidays into something else, but apparently it's okay to assault Christian holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your own Christmas your way. If they are hosting, then do your Christmas separately.

I would also suggest you try and set aside your possibly pre-conceived notions. Maybe they are all dull and boring and sit around in gloomy silence on Christmas snacking on carrots. However I grew up in a very fundamentalist Christian home that also had no tree, no Santa and one gift each. Our focus was on the birth of Jesus, compassion for others, acts of service, and lots of church. And yet you know what...I have fantastic memories of Christmas. It was still exciting and fun and filled with family, laughter, good food, games, etc... We loved Christmas.

Now we do most of the Christmas stuff..gifts, trees, etc... and honestly, sometimes I think the way we did it as kids was better. The focus then was on family, time together and what does acting like a Christian really mean (love, joy, peace, kindness) etc... Now we still have fun and its exciting but the focus is on gifts and what people got and rushing around and kids off playing with toys while adults do their thing.

It is kind of like people feeling you can't have fun unless you are drunk. So for drinkers, sober people are boring. But sober people actually have fun too.

But that's how your family does Christmas. My family does presents and get togetherness with family friends and we manage to focus on family togetherness and love. Granted, all three of us kids ended up atheist, so there's very little focus on Christ (sorry Dad), but we weren't going to do that no matter what. I mean, as a non-drinker, I get what you're saying that their Christmas might not suck, but I think destroying the Santa illusion for someone else's kids is beyond awful, and my kids never believed in Santa. The OP's fundie family sound like a mega drag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the responses would be any different if OP were Christian and referring to another religion's holiday. Ex: I am not Jewish but my Jewish BIL and SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Hanukah for me and my kids. I just want to focus on the presents but those old stick in the muds are making it about service and religion. Or I am not Muslim but my Muslim BIL/SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Ramadan for me and my kids...you get the picture.

I think if people tried to celebrate other religious holidays like a joke it would considered offensive. I have many Muslim family members and would never dream of making any of there holidays into something else, but apparently it's okay to assault Christian holidays.

Presumably OP is also Christian, if a better denomination.

And as a fellow Christian I can say this to you: we aren't being persecuted in this country. At all. Instead of looking for ways to feel slighted, you could think to yourself, my, Christ's love is so strong that everyone wants a piece of the joy. So go put your faux outrage in a stocking and hang it on a mantel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the responses would be any different if OP were Christian and referring to another religion's holiday. Ex: I am not Jewish but my Jewish BIL and SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Hanukah for me and my kids. I just want to focus on the presents but those old stick in the muds are making it about service and religion. Or I am not Muslim but my Muslim BIL/SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Ramadan for me and my kids...you get the picture.

I think if people tried to celebrate other religious holidays like a joke it would considered offensive. I have many Muslim family members and would never dream of making any of there holidays into something else, but apparently it's okay to assault Christian holidays.

Presumably OP is also Christian, if a better denomination.

And as a fellow Christian I can say this to you: we aren't being persecuted in this country. At all. Instead of looking for ways to feel slighted, you could think to yourself, my, Christ's love is so strong that everyone wants a piece of the joy. So go put your faux outrage in a stocking and hang it on a mantel.

Celebrating Christmas without the Christ portion isn't wanting Christ's love. How the heck did you conclude that? Your reasoning skills need work.

[Anonymous]

OP, instead of celebrating Christmas you can celebrate "Santa Claus Day" - that is what we will be doing this year. I got the idea of my 3y old who keeps asking me when is "Santa Claus day? when will we have the tree and Santa will bring us gifts?"

It is your home, your kids - you do whatever you want. If BIL and SIL don't like, they don't need to join your celebration. Life is too short to live the way other people think you should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do your own Christmas your way. If they are hosting, then do your Christmas separately.

I would also suggest you try and set aside your possibly pre-conceived notions. Maybe they are all dull and boring and sit around in gloomy silence on Christmas snacking on carrots. However I grew up in a very fundamentalist Christian home that also had no tree, no Santa and one gift each. Our focus was on the birth of Jesus, compassion for others, acts of service, and lots of church. And yet you know what...I have fantastic memories of Christmas. It was still exciting and fun and filled with family, laughter, good food, games, etc... We loved Christmas.

Now we do most of the Christmas stuff..gifts, trees, etc... and honestly, sometimes I think the way we did it as kids was better. The focus then was on family, time together and what does acting like a Christian really mean (love, joy, peace, kindness) etc... Now we still have fun and its exciting but the focus is on gifts and what people got and rushing around and kids off playing with toys while adults do their thing.

It is kind of like people feeling you can't have fun unless you are drunk. So for drinkers, sober people are boring. But sober people actually have fun too.

But that's how your family does Christmas. My family does presents and get togetherness with family friends and we manage to focus on family togetherness and love. Granted, all three of us kids ended up atheist, so there's very little focus on Christ (sorry Dad), but we weren't going to do that no matter what. I mean, as a non-drinker, I get what you're saying that their Christmas might not suck, but I think destroying the Santa illusion for someone else's kids is beyond awful, and my kids never believed in Santa. The OP's fundie family sound like a mega drag.

I don't think it is just my family. If you have kids and gifts it is hard to not spend time opening and playing with gifts. Also with technology, people tend to retreat to check phones or to go online. As I said we still have fun and we are all still together and it is still a good day but there is more 'stuff' involved, people are busier and have full schedules and finding a full day where everyone can do nothing but relax and enjoy each others company in a technology and toy free zone seems to be difficult to make happen. I welcome your tips on how your family has made this happen. I tried to make the day technology/toy free but I almost had a mutiny!

[Anonymous]

And PS-- you can do whatever you damn well please. If you want to have a Christmas celebration at your house, do you think the Christmas police are going to come to your house and check your Christian credentials?

LOL

OP, there are two Christmases. The religious one and the secular one. Most Christian families celebrate both, so for example, we go to mass but also do the tree and presents etc. We light the advent wreath and say prayers, but we also have that advent calendar where you get some chocolate. The secular grew out of the religious (and yes many of the religious parts grew out of the pagan). The songs are Oh Christmas Tree, Away in a Manger, Silent Night, but also my personal fave, "oh there's no place like home on the holidays!….I met a man who hailed from Tennessee…he was headed for…Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie (SOME PUMPKIN PIE!)" Ha and how apropos for this post.

So you want to celebrate a straight secular Christmas. Go for it! And religious folks, remember, the secular does have a connection to the religious. It's a nice first step, if you wouldn't deny it to her. She's attracted to it. Let her be attracted to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can't have the secularized parts of Christmas at your house as a non-Christian. I have Halloween and I am a non-pagan. Why can't you have a tree, Santa, presents, make paper chains with your kids, drink eggnog, sing non-religious holiday songs (Jingle Bells, Here Comes Santa Claus), and watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on TV? All of that stuff is just about Santa, having family time, and showing love by giving gifts, not about Jesus (you can tie it to Jesus if you want to, but you don't have to).

Folks can do what they but CHRISTmas began as a religious holiday. Op can't get mad that her in-laws wants to celebrate it that way.

They should really make another name for folks who just want to get egg nog and sit around the tree exchanging gifts without acknowledging the religious aspect of it. Those folks are celebrating something else and it's not Christmas.

Amen. It's called "December 25". By all means, drink some egg nog, but if you're not Christian, you're not celebrating Christmas.

[Anonymous]

So all the folks who want to keep Christmas Christian, do you celebrate it bare-bones like described??

[Anonymous]

Heck no- we go full on Irish Catholic bacchanalia. Suck that, Cromwell!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can't have the secularized parts of Christmas at your house as a non-Christian. I have Halloween and I am a non-pagan. Why can't you have a tree, Santa, presents, make paper chains with your kids, drink eggnog, sing non-religious holiday songs (Jingle Bells, Here Comes Santa Claus), and watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on TV? All of that stuff is just about Santa, having family time, and showing love by giving gifts, not about Jesus (you can tie it to Jesus if you want to, but you don't have to).

Folks can do what they but CHRISTmas began as a religious holiday. Op can't get mad that her in-laws wants to celebrate it that way.

They should really make another name for folks who just want to get egg nog and sit around the tree exchanging gifts without acknowledging the religious aspect of it. Those folks are celebrating something else and it's not Christmas.

Amen. It's called "December 25". By all means, drink some egg nog, but if you're not Christian, you're not celebrating Christmas.

"Winter Solstice" or "Yule" or "Saturnalia" or "Newton's Birthday" would do, but now I'm going to call it "Christmas" just to spite all of the narrow-minded, stingy, un-Christ-like Christians on this thread. Christmas is as much a cultural holiday as it is a Christian one. People who leave the "Christ" part out of Christmas are still celebrating an authentic Western cultural tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the responses would be any different if OP were Christian and referring to another religion's holiday. Ex: I am not Jewish but my Jewish BIL and SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Hanukah for me and my kids. I just want to focus on the presents but those old stick in the muds are making it about service and religion. Or I am not Muslim but my Muslim BIL/SIL are sucking all of the fun out of Ramadan for me and my kids...you get the picture.

I think if people tried to celebrate other religious holidays like a joke it would considered offensive. I have many Muslim family members and would never dream of making any of there holidays into something else, but apparently it's okay to assault Christian holidays.

How would it be offensive if they are doing it in their own home? If no one else knows that you are celebrating Hanukah even though you aren't Jewish, what is the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do Christmas BIG at your home and then go to the grandparents afterwards for the lame parts. If you want you can even invite grandparents to watch your kids open presents.

Do this.

Have Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at your home, and do it the way you want. It is utterly unfair to your children to deprive them of the family traditions you want to share with them just because your inlaws say you can't.

Go to your inlaws' house on the afternoon/evening of Christmas Day and celebrate in their traditions.

If your kids ask why Santa comes to them and not to their cousins, do what we do. We tell them that Santa is very respectful of everyone's religious traditions, and only visits those families whose religious believes say it is okay for Santa to visit. He knows who those families are because they put of Christmas trees and stockings and leave cookies for him that night. If he doesn't see those things then he knows that they might not like him to visit this year.