BIL-SIL sucking all the fun out of Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change it this year. Get gifts for your kids. Make YOUR family happy. Do not defer.

+1000

x1,000,000

[Anonymous]

You aren't a Christian but you want to celebrate Christmas. Sorry that makes no sense.

Anyway, people have different beliefs on how Christmas should be celebrated. Just celebrate it your way at your home.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

[Anonymous]

If they are so into volunteering, you can do two days. Let them go do their volunteering thing as a family on Christmas morning, you do your family gift exchange, and then meet up for dinner. Then, all go together with the whole family to do more volunteering the next morning/afternoon (or switch it around and do the whole family thing on Christmas Eve). It doesn't sound like you were or want to be over the top with gifts, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

If you aren't Christian and your husband is fine with the current way, what's it to you???? You want to have your cake and eat it to? Like Jewish people celebrating Hanukkah but don't know a single thing else about the religion, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

Of course you can do Christmas at your house. Just tell your family that you will be over for the big family gathering after your family exchanges gifts in the morning. Take the focus off of trying to change the whole thing and just step back from it a little. Tell them that you will be able to join them for xyz parts of the family celebration and that during abc time your family will be doing some things at your house.

You keep saying "I'm not Christian, so..." but if your in-laws are Christian, then your husband is Christian, and your kids are part-Christian. It is absolutely within your purview as their parent to decide and enact how you want your family and your children to experience this part of their heritage and tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

If you aren't Christian and your husband is fine with the current way, what's it to you???? You want to have your cake and eat it to? Like Jewish people celebrating Hanukkah but don't know a single thing else about the religion, right?

Ignore this poster. Clearly they need a little look in the "what is it to you" mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

But presumably your spouse is Christian, if the rest of his family is, right? If you are not "putting on Christmas" at your house with the rest of the family, what is stopping you from doing it with your own family? I don't get it.

And PS-- you can do whatever you damn well please. If you want to have a Christmas celebration at your house, do you think the Christmas police are going to come to your house and check your Christian credentials?

[Anonymous]

OP again, yes, that is right. And I said as much when I first posted. What matters more to me is how my children experience Christmas (they are 3.5 and 1.5). I don't really care about the birth of Jesus myself, per se.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

If you aren't Christian and your husband is fine with the current way, what's it to you???? You want to have your cake and eat it to? Like Jewish people celebrating Hanukkah but don't know a single thing else about the religion, right?

No, more like somebody married to somebody Jewish wanting their kids to know the traditions of the Jewish holidays even if their parent doesn't practice the faith. So that the kids will have a framework for understanding the family history and traditions and have some practices to choose or not when they are grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Remember, I am not Christian so I can't put on Christmas at my house, can I now? And the rest of the family nods in agreement whenever the no-frills thing comes up (though I know we all die a little inside). I might invite the grandparents over before the BIL-SIL come to town, to do a big night -- have grandpa dress up as Santa. That might work..

If you aren't Christian and your husband is fine with the current way, what's it to you???? You want to have your cake and eat it to? Like Jewish people celebrating Hanukkah but don't know a single thing else about the religion, right?

No, more like somebody married to somebody Jewish wanting their kids to know the traditions of the Jewish holidays even if their parent doesn't practice the faith. So that the kids will have a framework for understanding the family history and traditions and have some practices to choose or not when they are grown.

Oh please. All these non Christian, atheist or agnostic people who always talk crap about Christianity but then when it's Christmas time go all out...ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a Christian and neither is my DH, but we celebrate Christmas in the secular way. It's fun and we focus on family and giving back. Do what you want to, OP, your children are only young once.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you can't have the secularized parts of Christmas at your house as a non-Christian. I have Halloween and I am a non-pagan. Why can't you have a tree, Santa, presents, make paper chains with your kids, drink eggnog, sing non-religious holiday songs (Jingle Bells, Here Comes Santa Claus), and watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on TV? All of that stuff is just about Santa, having family time, and showing love by giving gifts, not about Jesus (you can tie it to Jesus if you want to, but you don't have to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can't have the secularized parts of Christmas at your house as a non-Christian. I have Halloween and I am a non-pagan. Why can't you have a tree, Santa, presents, make paper chains with your kids, drink eggnog, sing non-religious holiday songs (Jingle Bells, Here Comes Santa Claus), and watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on TV? All of that stuff is just about Santa, having family time, and showing love by giving gifts, not about Jesus (you can tie it to Jesus if you want to, but you don't have to).

This is what we do. If the grandparents want to talk about Jesus, they can, but our children will not hear it from us except as what some people believe.

[Anonymous]

My Jewish best friend has always gotten a Christmas tree- I don't see why you can't too.