Is there something wrong with a woman who says she "needs" a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about the smallest thing sets DW off on a tirade where she uses language towards her DH or DD that is best reserved for greedy corporations, thieving politicians or people eho torture small animals, not a life partner with run-of the-mill human foibles or a DD navigating the difficulties of adolescents.

For those of you who are critical that I am cold, uncaring, not affectionate towards his DW, perhaps that is because she has sucked it out of me. One minute she will tear another asshole in me, and the next she wants to cuddle on the couch snd be all lovey-dovey. I am sorry, but I do not work that way. As for protecting her? From what? Herself? My DD? When I actually told her once, she had DD in tears and called her "stupid'" and I stepped in to protect DD, she told me to STFU and get out. I told DD to go up to her room, and DW told her to stay the f**k where she is! Imtold her I has to protect DD from her tirades. She broke down crying hysterically "who is going to protect me?"

I am sorry, but where I grew up this is not normal adult behavior.

Then you can: a) seek marital counseling and/or b) seek the advice of a lawyer. It's jus hard to imagine that you have no role in this whatsoever. Your first paragraph of this post is filled with hatred and contempt. Maybe it's deserved, but if it's truly deserved, move on to something more productive.

Didn't you already post about this OP?? How many times do you need to seek validation to leave this relationship?

[Anonymous]

There is such venom and hatred in your post. I'm shaking my head. Assuming everything is true and as you say, how is it in your DD's best interest to stay in this dysfunctional home? I'm waiting for some explanation of why you let this continue on. It's all her, I get it. But I think you've posted before...and here you are again. So now what?

[Anonymous]

15:49 -- methinks we're on to something...

-15:56

[Anonymous]

You write like my abusive ex.

He was always playing everyone like a fiddle, painting broad lies to make people turn against me and see him as a victim.

My guess is that you are a gaslighter. She doesn't explode randomly, it's in response to you. Her being lovey dovey is trying to reconcile, forgive and you in turn give her the cold shoulder? Yeah you contribute 100% to the dynamic.

[Anonymous]

I recognize this OP. This is Post #3 or 4 about what a victim you are of Crazy Wife. You always start out with a catchy title to your thread as if there is a little question you need an answer to, and then go into how she is ruining your life and your daughter's life. You always refuse any responsibility for any contribution to the situation.

I can't imagine this is satisfying for you but perhaps it helps confirm your need to believe that all women are bitches and everyone is against you?

[Anonymous]

OP - you need counseling.

You can only change yourself and your reactions.

Whining on and on that you are a "victim" of your dw's behavior is the same exact action that your dw is guilty of.

You are not the better parent or person.

You are contributing to messing up your kid equally.

[Anonymous]

The answer to your subject line question is no. The answer to your original post is that she sounds like a mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about the smallest thing sets DW off on a tirade where she uses language towards her DH or DD that is best reserved for greedy corporations, thieving politicians or people eho torture small animals, not a life partner with run-of the-mill human foibles or a DD navigating the difficulties of adolescents.

For those of you who are critical that I am cold, uncaring, not affectionate towards his DW, perhaps that is because she has sucked it out of me. One minute she will tear another asshole in me, and the next she wants to cuddle on the couch snd be all lovey-dovey. I am sorry, but I do not work that way. As for protecting her? From what? Herself? My DD? When I actually told her once, she had DD in tears and called her "stupid'" and I stepped in to protect DD, she told me to STFU and get out. I told DD to go up to her room, and DW told her to stay the f**k where she is! Imtold her I has to protect DD from her tirades. She broke down crying hysterically "who is going to protect me?"

I am sorry, but where I grew up this is not normal adult behavior.

Ok so I am genuinely curious. Why are you staying in a relationship with a crazy person who refuses therapy?

[Anonymous]

Don't let your wife play you fiddle OP.

Sounds to me like she is blackmailing you and considering that it may involve an innocent life, that just shows that everything you stated is so right on.

I say, she needs to get herself into some decent therapy and work out her emotional/mental issues.

Until then, please try to make sure your daughter is not negatively affected by your wife.
Your DD is about to enter adolescence and the last thing she needs to deal w/is a mother who is unstable.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the background - DW and I have been married for over 10 years. We have a beautiful 12 year old girl. My wife has intimated over the years that she wants another child, however I have backed off from this because I basically see that DW has never been able to adequately manage being a parent. Everything is a crisis or drama, she tends to treat DD as some extension of her self and channels all of her fears, frustrations and needs for perfection into her child rearing. It makes me and DD crazy!

I have told DW that she needs to seek therapy to deal with her negative parenting issues, but she refuses. So, I have told her that I will not even seriously consider another child because she has shown me that she can barely manage the one we have and that it would not be good to bring another child into her crazy-making world. It is bad enough that DD has to suffer her mother's mood swings, her screaming and crying fits, etc.

Well, the other day DW is in a crying fit to me telling me how much she "needs" another baby and that it is my duty to provide her with one. Uhm, no, sorry dear, it is not my duty. You get healthy first, then we can discuss it.

You judgmental fuck. I hope she leaves you

[Anonymous]

That would be a blessing!

[Anonymous]

Okay, thank you pps, i remember this guy.

OP, seriously. enough already. really.

[Anonymous]

I am really surprised at the people who won't give OP and benefit of the doubt at all. I have lived with an unstable, borderline personality person before, and the wife sounds just like her. And why is it ok for the wife to subject the daughter to obscene tirades? Obviously OP needs to take some responsibility for his role, but his wife sounds crazy indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't let your wife play you fiddle OP.

Sounds to me like she is blackmailing you and considering that it may involve an innocent life, that just shows that everything you stated is so right on.

I say, she needs to get herself into some decent therapy and work out her emotional/mental issues.

Until then, please try to make sure your daughter is not negatively affected by your wife.
Your DD is about to enter adolescence and the last thing she needs to deal w/is a mother who is unstable.

Good luck.

+1000