DH quit his job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like men have less discretion about finding a "fulfilling" job than women. The expectation is that they will be the ones who work whatever shit job is necessary to pay the bills. Certainly I would never do what OP's husband did; because I know, even if my wife contributes, that paying the bills is ultimately my responsibility. I do think that the responsible guys who do what OP's husband did not -- stick with crap jobs to support their families because it's the right thing to do -- should get more credit than they typically do.

BS. Don't make this a male female thing. Any spouse would be wrong to do what this guy did.

- WOHM, breadwinner, sucking it up for 20 years so far.....

I agree that it sounds like the husband handled this poorly. I disagree if you are arguing that you are representative of anything approaching the norm when it comes to division of male/female responsibilities to provide for the family financially. There is absolutely a greater expectation that the man is going to provide for his family financially.

I think you are about 10 years behind the power curve on this one. Recent data shows that in 40% of families, the woman makes more than the man. And this number is only going to go up as college classes (and even med school classes) are >50% female now. I've been married 22 years and have always made the same (roughly) as DH. Neither one of us would DARE leave a job, shitty or not, without full support from the other. Yes, I have stayed in jobs I've hated because it was what our finances "required" at the time, and so has he. It's the responsible thing to do, ESPECIALLY when there are kids involved. You at least line up other work, however menial, to bring in some money while you look for the "perfect" job.

+1. I'm the PP who makes 2x what my DH does. It has never been our expectation, not pre-marriage, post-marriage, or post-kids, that DH would provide for our family financially. On the contrary, I carry the financial burden in our house.

PP is right that in many families, the woman makes more than the man - and the percentage of households where this is the case is rising every year.

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel any better, I know someone whose husband quit his job and he didn't tell her for over a year! He left the house every day and pretended to go to work!

[Anonymous]

No you are not in the wrong on this OP.

He is being selfish and he sure as hell picked the wrong time to quit his job what with a new baby on the way.

I agree with you...He needs a stable job and he can do real estate on the side since real estate is not a stable job.

If I were you, I would be so damn mad.

[Anonymous]

+1. I'm the PP who makes 2x what my DH does. It has never been our expectation, not pre-marriage, post-marriage, or post-kids, that DH would provide for our family financially. On the contrary, I carry the financial burden in our house.

PP is right that in many families, the woman makes more than the man - and the percentage of households where this is the case is rising every year.

Yep.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/30/business/economy/women-as-family-breadwinner-on-the-rise-study-says.html?_r=0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel any better, I know someone whose husband quit his job and he didn't tell her for over a year! He left the house every day and pretended to go to work!

Wow, seriously?! What did DW do?

Anyway, OP, to answer your question, yeah I'd be pissed. It would be one thing to talk it over with you first. I bet he got fired. I would do some investigating.

[Anonymous]

I'll give the guy some credit for actually applying to jobs before he reached his breaking point and quitting, but OP should have been tbe first to know, not the boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel any better, I know someone whose husband quit his job and he didn't tell her for over a year! He left the house every day and pretended to go to work!

I know someone who did this too, but it only went on for 4 months or so before the wife figured it out. She was pregnant and her doctor's office told her that her claims were being denied. Apparently, he didn't think it was important to mention that their entire family's health insurance coverage was terminated when he quit.