DH quit his job
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Anonymous
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I am upset with my husband. He had a mediocre paying job that he hated and decided to quit because he had been having constant drama on the job. So in short he quit his job out of the blue. While I do agree with him that it was a terrible job, I'm more upset that he has instead decided that instead of looking for a job he will pursue real estate full time. I'm not sure if this is a stable thing to do.
He says I need to be supportive of him and his new ambition instead of just wanting him to apply to jobs. We have one child and one on the way also. I think he needs to find another job and then work real estate on the side, but he wants to do this full time. My mother thinks I should support him, but in the meanwhile we will be using up savings to support his new 'dream' and I'm pretty upset about it because we worked so hard to build it up. Am I in the wrong on this? |
Anonymous
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How will he "pursue real estate"? As an agent? Is he licensed?
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Anonymous
| I would be very upset if my DH quit a job without this having been discussed between us, and a plan in place. I would be open to his plan because I don't think that working in a drama filled job you hate is good for anyone in any way. However I would expect us to have many conversations about the best way to change careers. Ultimately it would be his decision and even if I didn't completely agree I would support him as long as it wasn't detrimental to the family. If he just 'quit' and told me after the fact and didn't have a solid plan in place - I would not be okay or supportive of that. |
Anonymous
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Did he consult with you before he quit? Did he consult with you before deciding not to seek another job? Because the lack of discussion is troubling--that's a pretty major decision to make without input from your spouse.
I agree that you need to be supportive, but that doesn't mean that you have to be cool with him using up your savings when you have a kid and are pregnant. If he wants to work real estate, ask him to lay out what the initial investment, if any, will be, how he plans to develop his business, what his income goals are and how he's going to reach them, etc. If he doesn't meet a certain income goal by a certain time, will he agree to start searching for a job? |
Anonymous
| Yes he is a licensed agent. No he didn't consult with me. I came home early from work one day (he knew I was coming home) and that's when he told me. |
Anonymous
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I would also quit my job without consulting him and be a stay at home mom.
Not really. But that's what this amounts to. |
Anonymous
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I was married to someone like this. You need to read him the riot act. We give up the right to act unilaterally when we get married and have children. He needs to apologize for doing this and promise it will never happen again. If he says that you've failed to listen to his needs, then you need to discuss and address that. He needs to agree to sit down with you and work on a plan for his real estate career that you both agree with. There needs to be a timeline for him to get to a certain place, and an agreement that he will do something else (get a steady job with a certain income) if this time comes and goes.
And you need to see a divorce attorney to figure out where the chips would fall if he fails to follow through. Essentially, this is an ultimatum from you - he needs to show you that you can depend on him, or you need to go on your own. |
Anonymous
| Are you sure he resigned? Maybe he got fired? |
Anonymous
bingo |
Anonymous
| We had a guy at work that was fired for gross sexual harassment. He told his pregnant wife that he quit due to dissatisfaction. I always thought that if my husband was fired or quit I would call and ask why. |
Anonymous
No he showed me the resignation letter to his boss along with his bosses response. |
Anonymous
| Was it typed up or handwritten? I don't know, it really sounds like he was fired and is trying to hide it from you. Very easy to write up a resignation letter with a response from boss with a signature that is all faked. It isn't like you've seen his bosses signature or hand writing enough to know. |
Anonymous
| My H did this a few months ago and while I knew he was disgruntled and very stressed out, it was also a huge act of disrespect to me and our family. At the time, I was not in the position to support our family and while we have a sizable savings in place, we are using it at a rapid pace. It was not 'my' plan to use our savings so he could have an early retirement and I was/am furious. This kind of behavior is extremely childish. My H does not have a real estate license to fall back on in the meantime and does not appear to be looking for a lot of work. That said, he is a wonderful stay at home parent to our children. On the flip side, our relationship has taken a nose dive. I am having a very hard time keeping my patience with the situation. At any rate, you have every right to require him to hold up his side of your marriage. That includes not treating you and your child disrespectfully. You are not wrong. As his wife, you should support his dreams and goals but there is a fine line between being taken advantage of and being treated as an equal. Your wishes in this situation should be heard. |
Anonymous
No he still had access to his email for a few days after he quit so he just showed it to me. I'm pretty sure he is telling the truth, because another co-worker of his quit for the same reasons that he did, but the thing is his co-worker is single and childless. |
Anonymous
| I would be furious if my husband did something like this without us discussing it first. Agree totally with PP that we give up the right to act unilaterally when we get married and have children. He sounds pretty immature and irresponsible, if you ask me. |