Is this part of the college culture nowadays?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness of course it is an issue if it is your prof in a current class. Huge conflict of interest.

When I started at a slac, a prof showed extreme inappropriate interest in me. It was odd that he greeted a first year by name in September. Very odd when he sent his 7-yr-old daughter over to say hello at a concert in October. I was sweating it because I intended to major in his discipline and knew his class was required to graduate. No way did I wish to be in a situation where he was my prof. Fortunately I went abroad and satisfied the requirement elsewhere. Avoid avoid avoid. He was on his 2nd marriage to a former student at that time also.

What you describe is harassment, not a consensual relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness of course it is an issue if it is your prof in a current class. Huge conflict of interest.

When I started at a slac, a prof showed extreme inappropriate interest in me. It was odd that he greeted a first year by name in September. Very odd when he sent his 7-yr-old daughter over to say hello at a concert in October. I was sweating it because I intended to major in his discipline and knew his class was required to graduate. No way did I wish to be in a situation where he was my prof. Fortunately I went abroad and satisfied the requirement elsewhere. Avoid avoid avoid. He was on his 2nd marriage to a former student at that time also.

What you describe is harassment, not a consensual relationship

If it is your current professor it is a conflict of interest. you may be doing it for a grade, or s/he may be taking advantage of their authority position. Other students in class would rightly perceive the relationship as unethical.

[Anonymous]

There are all sorts of areas in which "consensual relationships" are still prohibited. Siblings shouldn't sleep together. A therapist shouldn't sleep with a patient -- even if it is consensual -- because it is extremely damaging to the patient. There are plenty of such examples, and professors and students are one. Professors have more than the power to grade. They have decision-making power within their department and the college as a whole. More prominent professors are catered to because they bring the school prestige and so they have even more power over the administration. It happens, professors and students sleep together. Most of the time it causes problems, sometimes horrendous problems. Sometimes it doesn't. But the fact that there are two consenting adults means nothing and is just a lazy way of avoiding an honest discussion of the issue.

[Anonymous]

Former college prof here. Actually these days this is not considered acceptable behavior by college administrations. It's highly inappropriate. Maybe it still goes on but officially it is disapproved of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:consenting adults = no problem

Emphasis on CONSENT

Big power differential = problem. Emphasis on the DIFFERENTIAL.

[Anonymous]

Is it clear that OP was describing a relationship between a prof and a current student?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are all sorts of areas in which "consensual relationships" are still prohibited. Siblings shouldn't sleep together. A therapist shouldn't sleep with a patient -- even if it is consensual -- because it is extremely damaging to the patient. There are plenty of such examples, and professors and students are one. Professors have more than the power to grade. They have decision-making power within their department and the college as a whole. More prominent professors are catered to because they bring the school prestige and so they have even more power over the administration. It happens, professors and students sleep together. Most of the time it causes problems, sometimes horrendous problems. Sometimes it doesn't. But the fact that there are two consenting adults means nothing and is just a lazy way of avoiding an honest discussion of the issue.

The analogy to incest is absurd and the therapist patient analogy isn't much better. The proper analogy is boss/subordinate, which is tricky, but not always inappropriate. A difference is that the student is often only a student if the professor for a few months of a class. Once the student is no longer in the professors class there is no problem.

[Anonymous]

If every relationship where one party had ulterior motives was inappropriate, there would be very few appropriate relationships. Consent is the key. Stop judging.

[Anonymous]

06:55 PP you can pitch your discerment out the window if you please, but you cannot compel everyone else to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I was an engineering student. I never heard of one instance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are all sorts of areas in which "consensual relationships" are still prohibited. Siblings shouldn't sleep together. A therapist shouldn't sleep with a patient -- even if it is consensual -- because it is extremely damaging to the patient. There are plenty of such examples, and professors and students are one. Professors have more than the power to grade. They have decision-making power within their department and the college as a whole. More prominent professors are catered to because they bring the school prestige and so they have even more power over the administration. It happens, professors and students sleep together. Most of the time it causes problems, sometimes horrendous problems. Sometimes it doesn't. But the fact that there are two consenting adults means nothing and is just a lazy way of avoiding an honest discussion of the issue.

The analogy to incest is absurd and the therapist patient analogy isn't much better. The proper analogy is boss/subordinate, which is tricky, but not always inappropriate. A difference is that the student is often only a student if the professor for a few months of a class. Once the student is no longer in the professors class there is no problem.

It wasn't an analogy, it was an example. My point was that "consent" is not the only standard. And professor-student relationships may not always result in problems, but they are always inappropriate. And it goes beyond the classroom relationship. the professor may be in the department of the student's major, or may have power within the university. I've also seen a situation where the relationship distorted other student's experiences because of information that was shared back and forth, as well as collusion.

For all these reasons it shows incredibly poor judgment on the part of the professor. I can't imagine a college that would accept this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If every relationship where one party had ulterior motives was inappropriate, there would be very few appropriate relationships. Consent is the key. Stop judging.

More sloppy reasoning. When you paint with such a broad brush - "consent", "ulterior motives" -- you just engage in laziness. These are incredibly broad terms that say nothing about the particular relationship of professors and students.

[Anonymous]

So if the professor is the paramour's sibling or therapist then it is always wrong?

[Anonymous]

I just don’t think the situation is as black and white as suggested here. I never slept with a professor in college, but I was friendly with several of my professors. We drank and smoked weed together (not one-on-one) but as part of a subset of a class. I think many college students have had that type of experience and I consider it part of the coming of age transformation from high school graduate to young professional. I suppose that someone might argue that any social contact outside the classroom creates a potential conflict of interest. Heck even frequent visits to a Prof’s office during office hours might lead to a friendship that creates a conflict of interest. I just wonder where the line gets drawn? Is it just sex? Is it sex with a current professor? Is it smoking weed (still illegal in most states)? I can see drawing a line with having sex with a current professor, but what about having sex with a past professor? If there is a difference, why? If the infatuation developed while the student was in the professor’s class does it matter when the interest is consummated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not a new thing that students sleep with their professors. It has been happening as long as there have been Professors and students.

Sure. But it's rare enough that it's a scandal when uncovered.