Fihmgured out why honeschooling bothers me so much

[Anonymous]

I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.


I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

I'm not really sure what you are getting at. Are you saying that because some kids fall through the cracks in a system where adults outside of the family interact with a child, there is no greater risk in a system where no adults outside the home interact with the child?

[Anonymous]

I worry about families that homeschool under the religious exemption criteria. There is much less accountability for reporting what children are learning and making any educational progress. I knew a family that homeschooled under religious exemption and for at least 6 months none of their 5 or 6 children did any schoolwork whatsoever.

The boys went to work with their dad and worked all day doing manual labor and the girls did chores and helped babysit. There were around 10 kids in the family. I heard the kids say they missed "doing school" which they had done on the computer, but the mom was too stressed to deal with it so they just stopped. I don't know what happened after the 6 months because I didn't see them anymore, but think that was a real shame to deny the children education like that and have no accountability to anyone outside who could do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry about families that homeschool under the religious exemption criteria. There is much less accountability for reporting what children are learning and making any educational progress. I knew a family that homeschooled under religious exemption and for at least 6 months none of their 5 or 6 children did any schoolwork whatsoever.

The boys went to work with their dad and worked all day doing manual labor and the girls did chores and helped babysit. There were around 10 kids in the family. I heard the kids say they missed "doing school" which they had done on the computer, but the mom was too stressed to deal with it so they just stopped. I don't know what happened after the 6 months because I didn't see them anymore, but think that was a real shame to deny the children education like that and have no accountability to anyone outside who could do something about it.

Clarification: 5 or 6 kids were school-age, and there were around 5 babies under 5 (one set of twins, and others all a year apart or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

There was a kid reported missing recently and it turned out she hasn't been seen in two years! I am sure she is long dead. However because she was homeschooled and isolated, there was no one outside the family who might have noticed she was missing.

Because of rare tragedies like this you would take away the rights of parents to make educational choices for their kids? Too many public school children have also suffered and died at the hands of their parents as well. Maybe the state should take all children from their parents to raise to prevent these sort of tragedies. Sadly these sorts of things occur in all realms of life. That is not a reason to take away choices.

I am not actually against homeschooling but I do think there should be welfare checks to make sure the kids are okay. Almost a third of child abuse is reported by school officials. They are often the people who are the only other adults besides parents who are actively involved in a child's life. Often parents who are abusive try and isolate their kids to minimize changes of being found. If your child doesn't attend school then I think there should be a check in with someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homeschoolers -- what I've never understood is how you get the school part done in the throws of the parent/child power struggles? Don't all kids want to be lazy? Even if you are a SAH parent and have all the time to devote to a child, how do you get them to do things that they consider "work" without constantly nagging them? While I think I could teach my children a lot (especially if I followed a commercial homeschool program), it would be a nightmare in terms of our relationship.

Our "summer learning" workbook stuff is evidence enough for me that homeschooling wouldn't work.

How do you homeschoolers get the work done everyday?

I can totally answer this. Firstly, no. Not all kids want to be lazy, but also, their version of lazy is different than another child's version of lazy. For example, right now my 4th and 5th graders are doing a whole lesson on astronomy. They each had to write out the definitions to a slew of words today. One took the dog and a pillow and camped out in the hammock for an hour to do it. The other one sprawled out on the living room floor and listened to music while doing it. In the middle of her work she stopped to hop on her bike to take some mail to the post office for me.

Each night I review the day's work and list out for each kid what they need to accomplish for the next two days. I write out two days in a row so they can have space to go slowly or quickly depending on their mood or other things going on. Each morning they check their list as to what they have to accomplish. The awesomeness of homeschooling is that there are no rules as to HOW I go about teaching. So for example, when we were doing Map Skills and one DD wasn't getting it, I was able to try three different ways of teaching until we found a way for her to understand.

In terms of the nagging, we established some ground rules at the beginning, one of which is that if they want to do something non-academic before 1pm they have to let me know when they'll be meeting their two-day goal. So when they come to say "Can I go ice skating and then to Julia's house?" they don't stop talking until they've included that they'll do their math lesson at night instead of watching Junior Master Chef or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

There was a kid reported missing recently and it turned out she hasn't been seen in two years! I am sure she is long dead. However because she was homeschooled and isolated, there was no one outside the family who might have noticed she was missing.

Because of rare tragedies like this you would take away the rights of parents to make educational choices for their kids? Too many public school children have also suffered and died at the hands of their parents as well. Maybe the state should take all children from their parents to raise to prevent these sort of tragedies. Sadly these sorts of things occur in all realms of life. That is not a reason to take away choices.

I am not actually against homeschooling but I do think there should be welfare checks to make sure the kids are okay. Almost a third of child abuse is reported by school officials. They are often the people who are the only other adults besides parents who are actively involved in a child's life. Often parents who are abusive try and isolate their kids to minimize changes of being found. If your child doesn't attend school then I think there should be a check in with someone.

There are plenty of kids who attend public school are are horribly abused. With your logic, perhaps no parents should be trusted at all and all parents should be subjected to welfare checks just in case. What about private school kids whose teachers do not have to be *gasp* certified? Should private school parents be subjected to welfare checks too?

Frankly, someone who wants to abuse and isolate their kids from society would probably not even follow the normal homeschooling requirements and just disobey the homeschool laws by flying below the radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.


I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

I'm not really sure what you are getting at. Are you saying that because some kids fall through the cracks in a system where adults outside of the family interact with a child, there is no greater risk in a system where no adults outside the home interact with the child?

You are assuming that most homeschoolers have no contacts with other adults outside of families which is simply not true. When we homeschooled, our kid was out and about with us for co-op and other classes, museum visits and classes, library visits and events, etc., etc. Most homeschoolers I met were doing the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who is homeschooling because of her DD's illness. This is curiosity and you may not wish to answer but I am curious as to what illness makes homeschooling a necessity but she can work long days at the mall and play on sports teams?

She has an autoimmune disease. It is a period of flares and remissions. She does not work long days at the mall, she works 3-4 hours two days a week (right now anyway, but how often she can work varies). Her employer is aware of her illness and that she could go into a flare and miss work and they understand her need for potential accommodations and understanding. Her sports teams have always been very supportive of her sometimes missing practices or games. In fact, some of the biggest supports she has are teammates and coaches.

The nature of chronic illnesses is that they have periods of the child being well and then periods of being very sick. In my daughters case the flares are very unpredictable in both frequency and duration.

Oh okay, you had posted this "involves her picking up a part time job at the mall, where she has to interact all day with adults of every age all day long, her boss, her manager, etc. She also interns one full day per week at a nonprofit that works on helping on the issue of land mines in 3rd world countries" so it sounded like she was working all day and also doing an all day internship thing. I just wasn't sure how she could be all day at a job but not school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homeschoolers -- what I've never understood is how you get the school part done in the throws of the parent/child power struggles? Don't all kids want to be lazy? Even if you are a SAH parent and have all the time to devote to a child, how do you get them to do things that they consider "work" without constantly nagging them? While I think I could teach my children a lot (especially if I followed a commercial homeschool program), it would be a nightmare in terms of our relationship.

Our "summer learning" workbook stuff is evidence enough for me that homeschooling wouldn't work.

How do you homeschoolers get the work done everyday?

I can totally answer this. Firstly, no. Not all kids want to be lazy, but also, their version of lazy is different than another child's version of lazy. For example, right now my 4th and 5th graders are doing a whole lesson on astronomy. They each had to write out the definitions to a slew of words today. One took the dog and a pillow and camped out in the hammock for an hour to do it. The other one sprawled out on the living room floor and listened to music while doing it. In the middle of her work she stopped to hop on her bike to take some mail to the post office for me.

Each night I review the day's work and list out for each kid what they need to accomplish for the next two days. I write out two days in a row so they can have space to go slowly or quickly depending on their mood or other things going on. Each morning they check their list as to what they have to accomplish. The awesomeness of homeschooling is that there are no rules as to HOW I go about teaching. So for example, when we were doing Map Skills and one DD wasn't getting it, I was able to try three different ways of teaching until we found a way for her to understand.

In terms of the nagging, we established some ground rules at the beginning, one of which is that if they want to do something non-academic before 1pm they have to let me know when they'll be meeting their two-day goal. So when they come to say "Can I go ice skating and then to Julia's house?" they don't stop talking until they've included that they'll do their math lesson at night instead of watching Junior Master Chef or whatever.

You sound like you have it well-together Well done! (not a homeschooling mom, but I see the benefits)