Fihmgured out why honeschooling bothers me so much

[Anonymous]

I've been bugged by how much homeschooling bugs me and I just figured out the root of my issue with it. I try not to judge parents for homeschooling and I know that it can be great for certain kids with certain needs. And, I believe parents have the right to do it but what bothers me is that I think kids (especially 8 and over) shouldn't spend so much of their time with parents or with their siblings. I understand there are many homeschool groups and that most kids are on teams and take many classes outside the home but I really think, in order to create healthy citizens, kids need to learn from, and have to deal with, adults who are not relatives and with people who aren't like them. I think close families are great but such intense, prolonged family-focused living seems like a negative to me.

Just my two cents.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if I had been homeschooled I would have remembered to check my spelling in the subject line!

[Anonymous]

Do not judge too hastily.

The homeschooling families I know have given up on the school system for their "twice exceptional" children because of concerns over addressing mild to moderate learning disabilities along with giftedness. These children have great difficulties being understood by and fitting in at school. The homeschooling parents enrich the curriculum way, way beyond what is offered in public school (think college classes for elementary kids) and also accommodate it for the LDs. There are many incredibly resources for homeschooling here.

I come from a country where homeschooling is frowned upon, but having a twice exceptional child myself, I pondered whether to homeschool or not. In the end I decided not to (for now!): because I do not have the patience, because I think he needs socialization in a school setting, and because I can support his public school education adequately right now.

As for the thought that parents need to distance themselves from their kids - that is utterly ridiculous. It is only in very recent times, in "developed" countries, that the family unit has led such separate lives - which is only to be deplored, and is probably the cause of many social and psychological ills of our society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand there are many homeschool groups and that most kids are on teams and take many classes outside the home but I really think, in order to create healthy citizens, kids need to learn from, and have to deal with, adults who are not relatives and with people who aren't like them.

I'm sure that many homeschooling parents agree with you. Though not all. Which suggests that it's not homeschooling itself that's the issue.

[Anonymous]

It's largely a myth that way back in the day families spent much more quality time together. Obviously it depends on the region and time, but often the parents and kids spent a lot of their time doing grueling cleaning, scrubbing, cooking and working. It didn't look like homeschooling.

[Anonymous]

Unless a child has special needs what I don't get is homeschooling for high school.

[Anonymous]

I homeschool. He spends at least two hours minimum each weekday with adults he's not related to. He gets out of the house every day for playing, and does swim team and basketball with other kids.

I feel like what you pwerent saying is families wo homeschool are weird. I promise you, aside from this, we're just like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

The only experience I've had with someone who was home schooled (at least was open about it) was home schooled by the stereotypical fundamentalist type of parents that give home schooling a bad image. He was on my sports team and once spent an hour (we were stuck in a car) lecturing us on commercialism, marketing, how evil corporations were, how we were simple idiots because most of owned North Face or Patagonia jackets, etc. When we would have team dinners, it was much of the same ideas, but about food.

That really soured my view on home schooled kids and I am trying to get over that sourness as I expect as my child gets older, I will meet people who home school. I'll admit it is difficult though when the only person you've met from a particular group confirms all the negative stereotypes about that group.

[Anonymous]

11:00 here. I should point out that we went to college together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless a child has special needs what I don't get is homeschooling for high school.

Actually why not especially today when there are tons of resources like Coursera, John Hopkins Gifted and Talented, PA Homeschoolers College Board approved AP courses, Art of Problem Solving courses, and numerous other online courses. Then there are the numerous in person course options such homeschool co-ops and colleges and universities. Homeschooling allows one to tailor an education to meet a kid's needs as well as provide more time to pursue other educational endeavors such as computer programming, novel writing, etc. The possibilities are endless!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only experience I've had with someone who was home schooled (at least was open about it) was home schooled by the stereotypical fundamentalist type of parents that give home schooling a bad image. He was on my sports team and once spent an hour (we were stuck in a car) lecturing us on commercialism, marketing, how evil corporations were, how we were simple idiots because most of owned North Face or Patagonia jackets, etc. When we would have team dinners, it was much of the same ideas, but about food.

That really soured my view on home schooled kids and I am trying to get over that sourness as I expect as my child gets older, I will meet people who home school. I'll admit it is difficult though when the only person you've met from a particular group confirms all the negative stereotypes about that group.

Public schools also have kids who come from all different walks of life too. I too thought that homeschoolers were all crazy fundies but that it is not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless a child has special needs what I don't get is homeschooling for high school.

The high school for my district is really dangerous, and is a terrible school education-wise. If I am unable to send my child to a private high school or move to a better district before 9th grade, I would homeschool.

[Anonymous]

But don't high school aged kids need to start not spending so much time with parents so they can transiton to adulthood?

My friend is an amazing mom who is homeschooling her daughter because other fourth grade girls were talking with an attitude and taught her daughter a mild curse word. Her daughter has no issues and they were happy with the academics. Isn't the goal of parenting to teach your kids to CHOOSE to behave well? Ideally, her daughter would not curse because she chooses not to -- not just because she doesn't know curse words exist.

I'm the OP. I don't think all homeschoolers are weirdos... Instead I think homeschoolers think everyone else is weird and that our faults are contagious.

[Anonymous]

Most homeschooled families I have met make very significant efforts to ensure their kids are spending time with both kids their own age as well as adults. I was forced to homeschool our 16 year old daughter very recently, and our efforts to socialize our daughter (16) with adults involves her picking up a part time job at the mall, where she has to interact all day with adults of every age all day long, her boss, her manager, etc. She also interns one full day per week at a nonprofit that works on helping on the issue of land mines in 3rd world countries. Aside from that, she actually does participate in the real world day to day, know what I mean? its not like she never leaves our house.

As for finding kids her own age to socialize with, that is our current biggest struggle. She has a boyfriend, and a couple of friends from her rec sports team. She also spends one day per week with our youth group at church. But that aspect has been very difficult. She is a VERY social kid, and she is sad about this aspect of her life.

I would love for her to be able to play on the sports team at our high school. We just recently pulled her 2 weeks ago from public school, but since September she has been practicing (off season practice) with the school team, participating in team fundraisers, and hanging out with the girls from the team. Once we pulled her from public school, she was banned from playing. Such a shame. I do understand people's reluctance to allow homeschooled kids to play on school sports teams, (like I get the logic), but due to our daughter's illness, she was forced to leave high school. Seems such a shame to "punish" her again by banning her from the team. She is crushed about that.

We are desperately trying to find other ways for her to find kids her age to hang out with. But along with "forcing" the issue (like finding formal groups for her to hang out with), there is also a natural way she meets kids. She's only had her part time job at the mall for a week, and already she has met other kids her age through work, (the place she works as well as other stores around her). Im hoping this natural way of meeting kids continues while we try to also get her interacting with kids her age more formally.

I am concerned about her not having a big circle of friends right now, but I am working on it with her and it's just part of the deal that came with having to pull her from school.

If you really DO have a huge problem with kids who are homeschooled, I am sure many families like mine would appreciate your support at school board meetings and other city meetings that address public school issues. The school system fails miserably at trying to accommodate kids who have illnesses and are in and out of the hospital. With technology today-(heavens we can walk on the MOON people....we all webex all our meeetings at work with people all over the country...how many of us celebrate kids birthdays and have grandma and grandpa on Skype watching our kid blow out the candles??)--there is not a reason on earth that kids who are lying in a hospital bed cannot virtually "see" what is happening in their classroom, listen to lectures, and keep up with their schoolwork while in the hospital-and if they are too sick to participate live, they should be able to watch a recording. it's not expensive technology, it just requires that the school system think outside the box a little bit.

So if you really do think widely in terms of what our society "needs", and you really are concerned about youth as a whole and this is your viewpoint, I would suggest that you learn just a little bit about what families of sick kids are dealing with at school. Maybe there is something you can do to lend your support, so that we all aren't forced out of public school (which is the main path for chronically ill students right now).

This is only MY viewpoint ,I am sure there are tons and tons of very valid reasons people homeschool. But I can't tell you how much it hurts when people "take issue" with homeschooling and haven't been in our shoes, and have been blessed with healthy kids who are able to go to school.

Just asking for a little open mindedness and understanding. Maybe you don't know everything, you know? Maybe your viewpoint would change if you widened your understanding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But don't high school aged kids need to start not spending so much time with parents so they can transiton to adulthood?

My friend is an amazing mom who is homeschooling her daughter because other fourth grade girls were talking with an attitude and taught her daughter a mild curse word. Her daughter has no issues and they were happy with the academics. Isn't the goal of parenting to teach your kids to CHOOSE to behave well? Ideally, her daughter would not curse because she chooses not to -- not just because she doesn't know curse words exist.

I'm the OP. I don't think all homeschoolers are weirdos... Instead I think homeschoolers think everyone else is weird and that our faults are contagious.

Wow...really? Now I just have to simply say, this IS ignorant. I am blown away that you think that. This just shows how much ignorance is actually out there about homeschooling families. Yikes. Do you watch that reality TV show about families who live in Alaska and live all isolated, hunting their own food and spending their days running from being eaten by wolves, and think that everyone in Anchorage lives like that? Open your mind, good heavens!