Fihmgured out why honeschooling bothers me so much

[Anonymous]

I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

[Anonymous]

I understand why some parents choose to homeschool and I think they have valid concerns when their reasons are education based.

OTOH I think what school teaches the majority of children is nuanced group social interaction that generates as the result of being forced into a group of the same people day in and day out for a year (which will then carry over years later to the working world). It's the way kids learn to pick up subtleties that they can't get through a group that meets once a week or so.

As far as learning to interact with adults, I don't think school teaches that really. I think kids get them from being with adults they are comfortable with first such as non immediate family, friend's parents, etc and that they can branch out from their.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless a child has special needs what I don't get is homeschooling for high school.

My cousin insisted on being homeschooled when she was in high school. She was just miserable there and didn't fit in. She did it all online and didn't need her mother to instruct her.

[Anonymous]

To the PP who is homeschooling because of her DD's illness. This is curiosity and you may not wish to answer but I am curious as to what illness makes homeschooling a necessity but she can work long days at the mall and play on sports teams?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

There was a kid reported missing recently and it turned out she hasn't been seen in two years! I am sure she is long dead. However because she was homeschooled and isolated, there was no one outside the family who might have noticed she was missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who is homeschooling because of her DD's illness. This is curiosity and you may not wish to answer but I am curious as to what illness makes homeschooling a necessity but she can work long days at the mall and play on sports teams?

She has an autoimmune disease. It is a period of flares and remissions. She does not work long days at the mall, she works 3-4 hours two days a week (right now anyway, but how often she can work varies). Her employer is aware of her illness and that she could go into a flare and miss work and they understand her need for potential accommodations and understanding. Her sports teams have always been very supportive of her sometimes missing practices or games. In fact, some of the biggest supports she has are teammates and coaches.

The nature of chronic illnesses is that they have periods of the child being well and then periods of being very sick. In my daughters case the flares are very unpredictable in both frequency and duration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who is homeschooling because of her DD's illness. This is curiosity and you may not wish to answer but I am curious as to what illness makes homeschooling a necessity but she can work long days at the mall and play on sports teams?

She has an autoimmune disease. It is a period of flares and remissions. She does not work long days at the mall, she works 3-4 hours two days a week (right now anyway, but how often she can work varies). Her employer is aware of her illness and that she could go into a flare and miss work and they understand her need for potential accommodations and understanding. Her sports teams have always been very supportive of her sometimes missing practices or games. In fact, some of the biggest supports she has are teammates and coaches.

The nature of chronic illnesses is that they have periods of the child being well and then periods of being very sick. In my daughters case the flares are very unpredictable in both frequency and duration.

My child has a similar issue. He has Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) that made him very ill all of a sudden during 8th grade. He misses a lot of school when symptoms are bad and trying to get all of the accommodations he needs for school is very difficult. Right now he is only going half days. It's very difficult to keep up with block scheduling and classes that are taught in a sequential manner, like math and languages, when you are in and out of school. Full-time homebound, which he had to do last year, is too isolating and feels like the illness is controlling life. Homeschool gives some control and reprieve from constant crises in trying to keep up with schoolwork. My son's doctor suggested homeschooling might be a good alternative for him but it's a tough choice because when he is well, he loves school and the social interaction with friends. Unfortunately, he is expected to have this illness until possibly his mid 20's, at which time about 80% of people who became ill with the condition as teens outgrow it. It's very difficult to know what the right solution is for school when your teenager has a chronic illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if I had been homeschooled I would have remembered to check my spelling in the subject line!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

I agree. This is a potential problem. What about the number of schools who don't teach their kids anything or the number of kids who are abused and the schools either don't pay attention or don't care? This is second hand, so I couldn't report it myself, but a school I worked at once told a parent "See that line over there? You can go and beat them outside of that line, but you can't beat them in here."

There was a kid reported missing recently and it turned out she hasn't been seen in two years! I am sure she is long dead. However because she was homeschooled and isolated, there was no one outside the family who might have noticed she was missing.

Because of rare tragedies like this you would take away the rights of parents to make educational choices for their kids? Too many public school children have also suffered and died at the hands of their parents as well. Maybe the state should take all children from their parents to raise to prevent these sort of tragedies. Sadly these sorts of things occur in all realms of life. That is not a reason to take away choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand why some parents choose to homeschool and I think they have valid concerns when their reasons are education based.

OTOH I think what school teaches the majority of children is nuanced group social interaction that generates as the result of being forced into a group of the same people day in and day out for a year (which will then carry over years later to the working world). It's the way kids learn to pick up subtleties that they can't get through a group that meets once a week or so.

As far as learning to interact with adults, I don't think school teaches that really. I think kids get them from being with adults they are comfortable with first such as non immediate family, friend's parents, etc and that they can branch out from their.

Nuanced social interaction?? You are kidding, right? Often times school settings are like the Lord of the Flies when it comes to social interactions with bullying and snobbery and other bad behaviors abounding. I know of many kids in my life time who were scarred emotionally by the "social" interactions they experienced in school. Of course, there are positive social interactions in schools as well but many kids experience more the bad behaviors. Plus, are you saying that children interacting with their families and community cannot learn social nuances? Give me a break

[Anonymous]

As a HS teacher, I've had a number of students in my classroom who had previously been home schooled, most of them up through 8th grade, one up to tenth. One of them was among the weakest students I ever had, and I truly felt that her parents had failed her by choosing to homeschool her, as it seemed they had not been able to do it properly. The others were all strong students, easily in the top half of their class, some of them in the top 10%. [b] None of them were weird. [b]

[Anonymous]

Homeschoolers -- what I've never understood is how you get the school part done in the throws of the parent/child power struggles? Don't all kids want to be lazy? Even if you are a SAH parent and have all the time to devote to a child, how do you get them to do things that they consider "work" without constantly nagging them? While I think I could teach my children a lot (especially if I followed a commercial homeschool program), it would be a nightmare in terms of our relationship.

Our "summer learning" workbook stuff is evidence enough for me that homeschooling wouldn't work.

How do you homeschoolers get the work done everyday?

[Anonymous]

I have seen it go both ways. In situations where it works well, the parent is usually highly educated, contentious, and seeks out extra help (homeschooling co-ops, community college classes, online correspondence classes, doing research on developmentally appropriate textbooks, etc.) rather than just allowing things to go with the flow it tends to work out better. Also if there is a medical or LD reason, rather than just because, I think it's more justified. One of my friends and her brothers are all dyslexic and the local schools were not meeting their needs and they were slipping through the cracks, and so their parents pulled them out so that they could learn how to read/learn at their own pace while they figured out coping strategies. They all went back to regular public schools in high school and were very high achieving in college and beyond. Another family friend of ours has Chron's disease and the school district was not set up to deal with children with chronic illnesses, so they pulled her out and home schooled her, using an online correspondence program. These situations make sense to me.

I have also seen people who have some weird ideas about public schooling. I had a friend whose mother was afraid she would get teased for having an unusual name, and homeschooled her, but her education essentially consisted of reading fantasy novels. She didn't learn how to write, how to study, and she had a complete lack of proficiency in math. She went to public school for high school and basically crashed and burned. I don't think in that case homeschooling did her any favors. Occasionally there is the exceptional child who thrives in a completely unstructured environment, but those are the exceptions to the rule. A good friend of mine from college grew up in an "unschooling" family (parents are total hippie types who run an organic farm) and he went on to do well and college and go to a competitive graduate school, but his brothers are all subsistence farmers, and basically he is just exceptionally bright, driven, creative, and intellectually curious and that is an inherent part of his personality.

I think barring LDs and health issues, in general parents are far less equipped to handle educating their children than school systems are. There are always exceptions, but a lot of homeschooled kids end up being very deficient in certain areas, especially math and writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure a lot of parents who homeschool do a great job and get their kids involved in lots of outside activities. What freaks me out about homeschooling is the very, very small percentage of homeschooled kids whose parents don't teach them anything, or whose parents are using it as a means to isolate the kids, hide abuse etc. I am betting this is something like 5 percent or less of homeschoolers, but it scares me that for that percent, the kids are completely cut off.

But I do think that this is a very small percentage. I used to have a lot of the same prejudices people on this thread do re: homeschooling until several good friends of mine started to homeschool. They are highly educated families, politically liberal, in not so great, urban school districts. Their kids are bright and articulate and completely normal socially--maybe a little on the sweet and innocent side, but with tons of friends and socializing opportunities. I also have a couple of friends from very religious families who homeschool and their kids are the same way, advanced academically, very social, successful in every imaginable way. All of these kids stand out for being more polite than average and most of them for being far more advanced than average. Maybe I have contact with an unusual crowd of homeschoolers but what I see is a diverse group of people whose kids are getting a much better education than mine are in a topnotch Fairfax County Elementary School. It is funny that many people make an exception to their views on homeschooling for children with special needs... I remember I used to say the same thing. However, the main reason I don't homeschool is because I have yet another of these super bright kids with special needs who, I believe, really benefits from the constant and obligatory socializing that school provides. If he was a more typical kid all around, I might have chosen homeschooling.