Women: would you date a man who makes less money than you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many of you feel like your man should subsidize your lifestyle?

Gosh, aren't politicians telling us regularly that it's the man's job to provide? All these women making money are.... unnatural.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESm7zI9VtyY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would for sure, and I don't make a lot.

I am married, and happily married someone who makes less than me, and we have been together now for 12 years.

So, you'd cheat on your husband then? If you're married, you shouldn't be dating anyone, let alone men who earn less than you. Or, do you have an open marriage?

Are you stupid? She is speaking hypothetically.

Are YOU stupid? I was joking.

[Anonymous]

I would go for a man with the education and skills to make money. When I married DH he made more than me, then the economy hit and now I make much more than him. However he has really worked his butt off to get back to where he was.

[Anonymous]

I feel like a hotblooded, starry-eyed freak among you all. I've never cared how much money a man makes.

I wish I could have been more cool and calculating in my choices of men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I married one.

As did I. He does WAY more than his fair share around the house, too.

Me too. I didn't know it would turn out that way when we married, though. Fast forward a couple of decades later, and it's been an issue, not gonna lie.

What? Do you mean you didn't know he'd always make less than you when you married? Not sure how the housework stuff is relevant - wouldn't that be a GOOD thing?

[Anonymous]

If it's the hot guy from my college years, YES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many of you feel like your man should subsidize your lifestyle?

I said I have dated men making less. It's not about subsidizing my lifestyle. Part of it is whether he can take care of himself. Is he making enough to save for retirement? Can he afford health insurance and does he purchase it? Those types of things. I want a grown up, not a kid "I" have to take care of. And my experience has been men who make less money initially seem fine with it. But then somehow morph into a guy who wants me to pay for everything. I'm not looking for a daddy or a kid. I want a partner.

My husband makes about 10% more than me. He's the only guy I ever dated who did make more. Things feel much more equal in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would and I do. I'm another woman who would have a very limited dating pool if I only dated men who made more than me. But, I really only get serious with guys who are at similar levels in their careers, and who make at least low six figures - I do think a large difference in either career achievement/satisfaction or income will cause issues in many relationships.

[Anonymous]

When I started dating my DH, he earned more than me. Then after awhile he switched careers and made far less. Now he earns zero, is much happier, and stays home with our kids. I'm pretty happy with this situation too.

So yes, I would date someone making less money than me, sure. Why not? I just don't get why someone would ask this question, honestly.

+1

I understand the desire to have a partnership marriage with someone of similar education and interests, but I am not sure that salary necessarily works as a proxy for that. And I am pretty horrified by some of the regressive attitudes in these posts.

[Anonymous]

Dated several and married one. I make almost double his salary and his is 6 figures. I don't think it matters much once you're both in the really solid middle-class category and assuming everyone in the mix has a healthy sense of self.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

When I started dating my DH, he earned more than me. Then after awhile he switched careers and made far less. Now he earns zero, is much happier, and stays home with our kids. I'm pretty happy with this situation too.

So yes, I would date someone making less money than me, sure. Why not? I just don't get why someone would ask this question, honestly.

+1

I understand the desire to have a partnership marriage with someone of similar education and interests, but I am not sure that salary necessarily works as a proxy for that. And I am pretty horrified by some of the regressive attitudes in these posts.

it's not regressive, it's that having a high powered career is important to me, and a man who made a lot less would likely have different values. We wouldn't even be dating if he weren't educated and smart enough to make a good living. I'm just not compatible with a laid back, spontaneous type who doesn't plan his career progression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you PP. I think we're odd birds. Money and earning potential just weren't factors for me in mate selection.

In absolute honesty, it was a turn off in my 20s because I assumed these types of guys wouldn't support female ambition.

Interesting. I thought only a man who had an equal ambition would not be threatened by me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I make about $150k. If I didn't date men who made less than I do, it would seriously limit my dating options.

I don't care how much a man makes. I care that he is responsible and works hard.

I have my own money, not too worried about his.

I don't plan to ever marry again, so his financial situation is not my top concern. Just as long as he's not eyeball deep in consumer debt or unemployed, or under-employed, by choice.

This is the key. Who cares what the guy's income level is unless you are getting married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a hotblooded, starry-eyed freak among you all. I've never cared how much money a man makes.

I wish I could have been more cool and calculating in my choices of men.

Why don't you care? You don't think financial security for your children is important, or you think sexual passion never cools or ________________?