Is being a nanny a turn-off?

[Anonymous]

It's a blessing to do what you love. I wouldn't stop if you're making good money (and you are) and are happy in life. You can always change later if need be.

You and your BF are not a match. Period. If I met a guy like your BF, I would think he didn't make enough and made poor financial choices (90k in SLs and counting??), but I wouldn't expect him to change. You accept people for who they are today or move on.

You will find that most guys could give a shit. I have a career that sounds interesting and prestigious, yet almost half the guys I've met have never asked what I did for a living early on, some never. Once you're single again, you will find that guys will either be indifferent to your choice or intrigued (guys do like women who are good with children).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you went to get married and be a SAHM? If so, sounds like this guy isn't the right match. Break up with him and go online or to parties etc and try to find a guy in a high earning career who wants a SAHM to be.

In other words, become a gold digger.

No, not necessarily. There are some guys out there with intense careers that might prefer to have a sahm. But, now that op has said she is not sure she wants kids, she probably should not go that route.

I agree that being a nanny is a physical job so you may want to come up with a very well thought out, well researched back up plan that involves working with kids.

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess a good teacher doesn't sit at a desk all day either.

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of degrees and my job isn't that fulfilling.

If you've found something you like that you're good at, stick with it.

[Anonymous]

OP, your topic is so multi layered I find it fascinating.
First, yes, people do judge you by what you do.
Second, your BF is an asshole. He is trying to feel better about his stupid choices by putting you down. I had a boyfriend like that, he would make fun of my job, I didn't care because it was fairly prestigious and well paid (but didn't require "real skills" just like he said). I married him, had a baby and stayed home, and that's when his putting me down became painful.
Right now you may not be too offended, because you are strong and independent. But he is just waiting for you to become less secure, he will take full advantage.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it sounds to me like he is jealous. He thinks he's the one who is smarter or better or more career oriented, but you're the one who is making over twice as much as he does in "just a nanny" job. my guess is that he wouldn't like it either if you were more ambitious. he sounds a little flaky to be taking on that much debt in a down economy.

[Anonymous]

I have two Ivy degrees and earn less than you do. The very top end of the pay scale in my field is around 70k.

I have chosen to do what I love which is so meaningful to me and the people I serve. My life is rich in all dimensions (except for health concerns, but we all end up with some of those). At the end of each day, I feel like I have received so much. My gratitude runs deep for having a life that has as much meaning and purpose as mine does.

I think you are awesome OP. You have a good head on your shoulders and are good with managing your money, and you love what you do. You are making a difference every single day in the lives of other people. That is wonderful. You are probably just a little older than my daughters (30-ish?) and I would be as proud of them for choosing your path as you should be of yourself.

I do think it's time to consider how the guy in your life is treating you. Not so good.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny. I have noticed some lack of respect when I tell people what I do. I shouldn't have to explain to everyone why I love my work or that I'm a caregiver by nature. Their assumptions aren't my problem.

You should ditch anyone who can't respect your decisions or see the value in something you love to do.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I would be careful with this guy, he may be genuinely concerned or may be the kind of guy who just likes to criticize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You love kids but aren't sure if you want them?

I'm also a nanny and I know I don't want kids. It's really quite simple. I like kids and enjoy spending time with them and having an impact on their lives, but it's the greatest feeling in the world coming home to my DH and pup at the end of the day and being able to just relax and do whatever the hell we want. I'm sick of the assumption people make that just because I'm a nanny my life plans include having kids and becoming a sahm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You love kids but aren't sure if you want them?

I'm also a nanny and I know I don't want kids. It's really quite simple. I like kids and enjoy spending time with them and having an impact on their lives, but it's the greatest feeling in the world coming home to my DH and pup at the end of the day and being able to just relax and do whatever the hell we want. I'm sick of the assumption people make that just because I'm a nanny my life plans include having kids and becoming a sahm.

I'm also a nanny and am considering not having children as well. What people don't realize is we truly understand what a sacrifice it is to have children and raise them well. It is 18+ years of putting another life before your own, constantly worrying about their future and if you made the right choices. When you haven't felt that pressure the idea of children is wonderful and the fantasy of cute giggling babies is all you embrace. After spending 50-60 with a screaming teething baby and your bubble is burst. You cannot look at children on the same light. I love being with children but the responsibility that every choice you make effects your child is something I rather not worry about.

[Anonymous]

What leg does he have to stand on if he is only making 30k and is 90k in debt?

My gut feeling is, he wants you to find a way to make more money so you can be the main breadwinner in the family...and take care of the bills, and his loans.

I would turn the tables on him and ask how he plans to pay off all his debt with a 30k job?

Doesn't sound like a good match to me....

[Anonymous]

I think he's jealous that you make more than him.

[Anonymous]

Op, if youre blonde and in,-shape i will propose to you in this thread.

[Anonymous]

If someone is undermining their partner's goals and success, then they not only don't have the partner's best interests at heart, they are actively behaving in a manner that is damaging and destructive to the partner.

I am also a nanny and had tons of experience with this. My ex boyfriend ( of 5 years) didn't support my career as a nanny and encouraged me to quit my job. I am married now and my husband is so amazing. He's sees the value in what I love to do He also loves children and is genuinely interested in my job. He's ask questions about my charge, what we did / what my charge learned that day etc. You should also really consider if you want to SAH. I do and I am happy to be with someone who is on the same page now.