Is it okay to skip my kid's college graduation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the big deal. I never attended any of my graduations.
Not high school, not for by BSc, not for my MBA.

I don't need to put a gown on, they MAIL you your diploma.

This is me, too. I went to high school graduation, but I skipped undergrad and law school graduations. My parents never asked if I wanted them to come, and I never invited them. I went to a large undergrad, where our graduation was in a stadium. You had to sit through a long ceremony about people you didn't know. For my part, all the students with my major were to stand at the same time. It frequently rains in the spring. It just seemed really impersonal, so I didn't want to go.

For law school graduation, I had already moved out of state by the time of the ceremony. My parents and I would've had to fly in. We had a celebration dinner with family where I moved to instead.m FWIW, DH didn't go to law school graduation either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the big deal. I never attended any of my graduations.
Not high school, not for by BSc, not for my MBA.

I don't need to put a gown on, they MAIL you your diploma.

This is me, too. I went to high school graduation, but I skipped undergrad and law school graduations. My parents never asked if I wanted them to come, and I never invited them. I went to a large undergrad, where our graduation was in a stadium. You had to sit through a long ceremony about people you didn't know. For my part, all the students with my major were to stand at the same time. It frequently rains in the spring. It just seemed really impersonal, so I didn't want to go.

For law school graduation, I had already moved out of state by the time of the ceremony. My parents and I would've had to fly in. We had a celebration dinner with family where I moved to instead.m FWIW, DH didn't go to law school graduation either.

I was the one who actually wanted to go to my DH's graduation and I just assumed that he would want to go, too. But he was happy just to get his diploma and be done with it. He didn't want to spend the better part of his day at a long and boring graduation ceremony. And, you know what? It really didn't even surprise me when I thought about it - that's dh. I was (quietly) a little disappointed but I understood.

[Anonymous]

I would have gladly skipped my college graduation. It was totally boring and not worth it.

got my Master's and never even considered showing up for it. As the PP said, they mail you the diploma.

[Anonymous]

The point is not whether graduation ceremonies are exciting in general or interesting or important to everyone to attend. The point is that graduation is important to OP's daughter. She plans to attend and she, understandably, wants her mother there to celebrate with her and recognize her accomplishment.

OP, there are lots of things in life you may not want to do but you do them anyway because it's the right thing to do as a parent. This is one of those things. You are being selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point is not whether graduation ceremonies are exciting in general or interesting or important to everyone to attend. The point is that graduation is important to OP's daughter. She plans to attend and she, understandably, wants her mother there to celebrate with her and recognize her accomplishment.

OP, there are lots of things in life you may not want to do but you do them anyway because it's the right thing to do as a parent. This is one of those things. You are being selfish.

Absolutely. OP should go to the graduation because it is important to the OP's daughter.

I would be really disappointed, myself, if my loved ones blew off my graduation ceremony - that sort of thing is important to me and I would want them there.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe this needs four pages to resolve. She's your youngest daughter. If you don't go, she'll be devastated. GO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is graduating from college in May. Unfortunately, my cousin's son is getting married that same weekend. I would much prefer to go to the wedding. My other kids are planning on going to the wedding as well. They are an eight hour drive apart, so the only way we could do both is if we woke up at 3am and drove up on Sunday in time for the ceremony at 1pm, but then we would miss other weekend festivities and be exhausted. (The wedding is in a location where we could not fly and get there in time.)

When my kid found out we were all planning to go to the wedding instead, she got upset. She claims that since we and she went to her older siblings' graduations from college and law school, we should go to her college graduation. I think she is being kind of self centered. Clearly a wedding is more important than a graduation.

Thoughts?

Man up and Go, woman!

[Anonymous]

If she (the student) is going to graduation, YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO GO. I can understand when a student does not attend graduation. I didn't -went to a very large public where the ceremony was held at the stadium. I didn't care to go and wanted to get a jump on my move across country. But that was the student's decision. Mom I really hope you are a troll. We can't believe you don't 'get-it'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's just a graduation. What's the big deal?

What about the siblings? Should they go too, or is it okay for them to go to the wedding?

Did you graduate college?

Her family should be there to celebrate her moment.

That's my point. Maybe OP doesn't realize it's a big deal because she never went to college.

I was agreeing with you pp. Sorry...I didn't make that clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the big deal. I never attended any of my graduations.
Not high school, not for by BSc, not for my MBA.

I don't need to put a gown on, they MAIL you your diploma.

Yes, I know people like that myself. But if the graduation ceremony is important to the graduate - then parents of the grad should go. If the graduate is blowing the whole thing off, feel free to miss it, of course.

Total troll.

We're actually the opposite, making our DD go to her graduation next year. She was a very troubled teen and it took a lot of years to get her life together. Counseling, rehab, tough love, we all went through hell. She's gotten her life together and went back to school and will be graduating next spring.

She claims graduation isn't a big deal and we don't need to come, but we want to celebrate it as a major milestone and accomplishment in her life. We are very proud of her and want to make sure that as a family we mark this occasion.

Congratulations! I was the kid who had screwed up for a while, and managed to get myself together and graduate. My parents couldn't be bothered to attend. Your daughter is lucky to have you!

[Anonymous]

Your child will forever remember that you all missed her graduation. Bite the bullet and get up at 3am if you really want to go to the wedding. Otherwise you are sending the message that she is less important than a non-immediate family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys, chill out... the cousin's son worked really hard to achieve this wedding. I can't believe you're giving OP crap for wanting to go! Who wants to sit through a graduation (and really, BFD, so you went to school, people go to school every day, biiiiiiiig accomplishment). Borrrrrrrrrring!

And for real, it's not some stranger... it's her COUSIN'S SON. That's like... practically one of her kids.

But anyway, troll, do they even graduation dates this far in advance? Maybe she'll fail some classes and have to wait until next winter.

Nice try OP.

WHAT?! How dare you! I am totally not the OP! I thought this was brilliant satire, but you obviously don't agree. Sigh. Now my feelings are hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is graduating from college in May. Unfortunately, my cousin's son is getting married that same weekend. I would much prefer to go to the wedding. My other kids are planning on going to the wedding as well. They are an eight hour drive apart, so the only way we could do both is if we woke up at 3am and drove up on Sunday in time for the ceremony at 1pm, but then we would miss other weekend festivities and be exhausted. (The wedding is in a location where we could not fly and get there in time.)

When my kid found out we were all planning to go to the wedding instead, she got upset. She claims that since we and she went to her older siblings' graduations from college and law school, we should go to her college graduation. I think she is being kind of self centered. Clearly a wedding is more important than a graduation.

Thoughts?

Very hurtful and your daughter will remember this.
My dad flaked out in helping me move cross country weeks after college graduation for my first job. He wanted to go to a friend's daughter's wedding instead. It hurt. Years later, for this and a host of other insensitive actions like this, I have a take it or leave it attitude when he calls looking for quality time.

[Anonymous]

I'd be hurt if I was your kid.

[Anonymous]

I believe this is a real post because I have family who calculate all social occasions like this:

Graduation: no alcohol -- not going
Wedding: alcohol -- going

Drinking problem, OP?