Not rich and do not know Obama. Can I get my kid into an "elite" school?

[Anonymous]

just as Tori Spelling is a movie star, cos of her family connections
Family and power get you into desirable places, of course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And plenty of smart kids are rejected each year in favor of other smart kids with similar connections/wealth. It really isn't a conspiracy - it's just a numbers game.

Yes, OK, there simply aren't enough spaces for all the smart kids who also have connections/wealth, and some of these smart + well-connected kids end up elsewhere. Nobody's denying that. I'm talking about the smart kids who don't have connections or wealth, for whom the odds are undeniably lower.

[Anonymous]

We have no connections so I told our kid she would have to cheat to get into one of the big 3. She said, as she left sixth grade in a public DC school, "OK dad, how do I do that?" I told her it is really simple, just spend 125 hours studying for the SSAT test. She did, got high scores, and goes to the #1 school. She knows I was kidding about the cheating part, but it gave her a point of view on how to get a leg up when you are faced with something difficult.... WORK.

[Anonymous]

I do like your story, and about how your daughter was empowered by work. The conclusion you draw, however, is that other kids must not be working hard enough. That's a little unfair to the many other families who wonder, here on these boards, why their 99 percentile kid didn't get in anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child attends a hidden-gem private. Not a top 3 but tough to get into - we were accepted and trust me, we are absolute nobodies. Seriously, NOBODIES. We know no one interesting or important and our child was accepted. Open your eyes and look for the hidden-gems, you'll be pleased.

May you tell me more about the hidden gems? What schools do you consider hidden gems? What makes your school special? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, from reading these boards, you would think the private schools take all their applicants, rank order them using a matrix of family income and famous friends, then accept from the top to the bottom with little or no regard for intelligence, talents, interests, etc.

Obviously, if your personal fortune is in the billions or you are the President-elect, any school will look hard at your kids (although they still might say no). But they're not going to take, say, the child of a partner at a law firm over the child of a law professor on the basis of income! Below a certain stratospheric level, they'll look at other factors.

And, given the number of applicants vs. number of slots, there will be plenty of smart, charming, talented kids, with or without connections, who don't get in to the school of their (parents') choice. But there will be other smart, charming, talented kids, with or without connections, who do get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, from reading these boards, you would think the private schools take all their applicants, rank order them using a matrix of family income and famous friends, then accept from the top to the bottom with little or no regard for intelligence, talents, interests, etc.

Obviously, if your personal fortune is in the billions or you are the President-elect, any school will look hard at your kids (although they still might say no). But they're not going to take, say, the child of a partner at a law firm over the child of a law professor on the basis of income! Below a certain stratospheric level, they'll look at other factors.

And, given the number of applicants vs. number of slots, there will be plenty of smart, charming, talented kids, with or without connections, who don't get in to the school of their (parents') choice. But there will be other smart, charming, talented kids, with or without connections, who do get in.

This is a fairly naive statement. Yes, they are going to take the law partner's kid over the mid-level bureaucrat's kid -- I've seen it happen, despite the fact that the bureaucrat's kid had much higher test scores.

This issue has been discussed ad naseum here. I think the general concensus, after pages of posts including some posts from former admissions folks, is that the schools want some balance in addition to the money/connections. So they set some targets for the distribution of characteristics in the incoming class (and these targets probably aren't representative of society at large). This many slots for rich/connected, that many slots for diversity, and this many slots for smart-but-no-connections kids. The problem for the last group is that there are so many more smart-but-no-connections-or-wealth kids applying for a given number of slots, so the odds are much worse for these kids.

[Anonymous]

This isn't rocket science, it's self-interest. The top schools want wealthy families so they can improve facilities and hire the best teachers. They want connected families because connected families attract other connected families. These schools don't want to end up like Rock Creek International, struggling to attract kids and ending up closing their doors. Staying on the top of the heap, by having wealthy and connected families so you can continue to attract more of the same, is just self preservation. I don't understand why anybody finds this surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't rocket science, it's self-interest. The top schools want wealthy families so they can improve facilities and hire the best teachers. They want connected families because connected families attract other connected families. These schools don't want to end up like Rock Creek International, struggling to attract kids and ending up closing their doors. Staying on the top of the heap, by having wealthy and connected families so you can continue to attract more of the same, is just self preservation. I don't understand why anybody finds this surprising.

and I don't understand why anyone voted for McCain. People can disagree.

[Anonymous]

That's my post you're quoting, and I voted for Obama.

But denying this is like closing your eyes to the obvious. It might be nice to think that the rich/connected don't get preferences (especially if your kid got into a big 3, as ours did, and you want to think it's all down to how smart your kid is). Look around you at your school. Read the other posts on DCUM where people tell their own experiences (and try not to dismiss their kid as being dumb or lazy).

Telling OP that wealth/connections don't play any role, or that they're only significant if you're president or a billionaire, is hopelessly naive. It's also harmful to perpetuate this "admissions are completely fair" myth among families who are currently applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't rocket science, it's self-interest. The top schools want wealthy families so they can improve facilities and hire the best teachers. They want connected families because connected families attract other connected families. These schools don't want to end up like Rock Creek International, struggling to attract kids and ending up closing their doors. Staying on the top of the heap, by having wealthy and connected families so you can continue to attract more of the same, is just self preservation. I don't understand why anybody finds this surprising.

and I don't understand why anyone voted for McCain. People can disagree.

Is it possible that you (a) don't have a kid at these schools, (b) are in denial, or (c) are an admissions officer at one of these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's my post you're quoting, and I voted for Obama.

But denying this is like closing your eyes to the obvious. It might be nice to think that the rich/connected don't get preferences (especially if your kid got into a big 3, as ours did, and you want to think it's all down to how smart your kid is). Look around you at your school. Read the other posts on DCUM where people tell their own experiences (and try not to dismiss their kid as being dumb or lazy).

Telling OP that wealth/connections don't play any role, or that they're only significant if you're president or a billionaire, is hopelessly naive. It's also harmful to perpetuate this "admissions are completely fair" myth among families who are currently applying.

Well said.